Spirit of a Girl (Updated!)

About a year and a half ago someone in my family died. This death was very traumatic for my family and despite it not affecting me directly (as I wasn’t ever so close with the person whom had died) it had a linking affect to me since seeing my family so upset caused me to also suffer in the sadness. Not long after the funeral, I woke up during the night after a nightmare (I can’t remember exactly of what) to see a picture frame stuck to my ceiling staring down at me – a picture of the funeral car inside.

By this time I had already been suffering a feeling of someone inside my head (thinking I was going a little insane) with a certain gut feeling present that always seemed to be recognisable, as if they all linked in, caused by the same thing.

Not too long after this I woke up in the night, having heard a small bang on my window. I opened the curtain to see a small fragile looking girl outside, her hand pressed against the window pane showing the “bang” sound had been caused by her. She had icy cold eyes, pale (off-white I believe) lifeless hair, dead looking skin and was wearing a limp white nightdress, the material hanging off of her half starved body. I got the same gut feeling as I had done before. She stood their for a few moments, just staring at me, and then after a few blinks of my eyes she had gone.

I had a lot of counselling after this at school, the voices that mocked me inside my mind (shouting insults at me and telling me how worthless I was) gradually ceased. That Christmas the counselling service at school had to be cancelled for ones to do with funding. Things were ok from then on until last Wednesday night.

I woke up in the night (or at least it seemed I was awake) and looked out my window to see no cars in our driveway (where there would normally be two – one my mums, and the other my dads). The same girl I had seen outside my window a year and a half before was climbing over the wall at the bottom of my driveway (where as about a meter to the right there was an open gateway she could have easily walked through). She walked up the driveway (that gut feeling and the most horrible fear I’ve ever felt passing through me). When she got to my window she somehow passed through it. I can’t remember if she opened it or not but she somehow got passed it. She climbed up my bed (as in reached up to see to the top since it’s a bunk bed) which faces the window, only the bars on the bed in between the two. She stared at me through the bars, her head tilted slightly and her eyes wide open. She smirked at me as I tried to push her head away with the little strength I could muster in one arm (my entire body shaking with fear). I turned away and hid in my bed, the next time I looked back she was gone.

On Thursday I got upset after school when my boyfriend was round. He was trying to comfort me but I just kept saying “stop it” sternly – yet I didn’t know why! He didn’t back off and eventually I pushed him away in a slightly violent manor. We don’t have any problems in our relationship and things are nearly always close to perfect so it’s not relationship problems. He said he’d never seen me act like that before.

I remember him being in my dream when I’d first seen the girl (because he already knew about my vision of her the year before), and as soon as I saw her I just started shouting “Sam!! Sam it’s her! She’s here! It’s her!” in a terrified way.

Last night we were washing up the pots when suddenly my body jolted forwards a little violently and I felt as if something (or someone) had passed through me. He knew in a second what I was feeling. I saw something out of the corner of my eye in the doorway, and I just stared at it. The cat moved towards the doorway as if guarding it. (Someone once told me cats could see spirits.)

Things soon went back to normal and we were playing around. It was a little later when I saw something in the doorway again. I froze and stared at it. I felt something pass through me again, but it only went half way. Next thing I knew he was holding me tightly, looking really worried and scared. When I asked him what was wrong he said I had been looking at him with my head tilted slightly and had stared at him, just laughing right in his face.

One or two other events like this happened through the evening but these were the main ones. When I was trying to sleep that evening (having been advised by my boyfriend to get back into Wicca as it would help protect me against her and that it was only because I’d given that up that she’d managed to get inside me) I saw her a few times out of the corner of my eye in the same place as I’d seen her Wednesday night.

I’m sorry this has been so long but I thought that the more detail I could add, the more you would be able to help. Any advice or information you might be able to give me about this would be really helpful as this experience has really scared me – I keep feeling as if she’s messing with my head like she was before.

Also, my boyfriend is into magick and he had a vision last night too. I asked him what he saw and he said it was a ring with a face in it, like how witches in the older times were said to have trapped people in rings. He asked me if the girl had worn any rings and I said not to my knowledge.

Thank you for anything you can tell me that might help.

Update 21/04/05:

I was very upset yesterday for various reasons, and gave up on everything. In tears I was talking to myself saying "I give up, I give up!" Although a part of me feels like I might have subconciously been talking to the girl, hoping that she would hear my and stop my misery. Having removed anything from me that could have been protection (any gems, my pentacle necklace, etc) except for a braided wristband I tied to my wrist, made up only of colours that were protective which I didn't have the heard to cut with scissors and couldn't untie.

I had a dream last night. I was in the dining room of my house, the same place I'd stayed when I was very upset and removed all my protection. My boyfriend and I were watching television. I felt the braided wristband tied to my wrist and tried once again to pull it off. This time (unlike when I was awake) the string broke and the wristband fell off. The second it had falled from me, the girl appeared on my garden path, walking up it towards us. I started panicing and tried to get my boyfriends attention. I asked him to pass me my pentacle necklace, but he said there was no point. He began to tell me a protection spell he had previously told me the other night, but gave up half way through as I was having difficulty repeating it. However, it seemed more like he had given up on me which broke my heart.

By now the girl had passed through the patio windows in my dining room and was in the room staring at us. I don't remember the expression on her face but she seemed a lot more well off than before. No longer did she look half-starved or wearing a tattered nightdress as she had done before. She appeared slim, but healthily, and her nightdress was of a high quality.

Upset because of the events, and still having lost hope as during the day, I approached her, yelling at her "I give up! You win!" She put one hand up, fingers spread (her left hand I think) and I put up my right to mirror it. Closing her fingers over my hand so our fingers were laced, she yanked me quickly towards her, me to fall into her, or her into me depending on how you look at it.

It was then that I woke up. I felt a presence in the room and refused to open my eyes, just lying in bed awake and afraid. When I eventually got up (an hour later) and I looked in the mirror in the bathroom, I didn't feel like I looked like myself. There was something different - but I didn't, and still don't, know what!

Well so far it has scared me severly and has gotten me back into Wicca of which I seemed to have lost my way in in the past (not that my beliefs have changed).