Some handy household tips

Heres a very handy few pieces of information to help you get through those tricky moments around the home where something breaks and you don't know how to fix it and stuff:

1) You've accidentally broken your chair. It's got one leg hanging off. Now, all you do here, is you take a hammer (or if you haven't got a hammer, then you may use a guitar or nearby heavy valuable object that you saw) and bring it down ontop of the broken chair, until it is a heap of wood. Hide the mess in a cupboard, or if you have a bin, put it in this.

2) A lightbulb has popped. This one is easy to solve. All you need is a hammer(or equally heavy implement, like a saucepan). Take it, and swiftly bop the glass, which should smash. Some of the bulb will have been left in the socket. Don't worry about this. Sometimes leave things. If you like though, you can clear the mess up, using simple thought processes that would lead you into using a dustpan and brush. If not:

3) Some glass has been smashed on the floor. It is dangerous and might cut people. Something must be done. Here, you simply add some cleaning chemicals such as bleach to the mess. After sometime, the glass might have eroded. Otherwise, in certain places there will be no glass, so use these to walk on.

4) A pressed down mute button has caused your stereo low volume. Take the stereo from the cabinet and put it on the floor, where you're to stand on top of it, and bounce until it has burst and has its parts strewn over the floor and all about the place and it doesn't work and you can't play anything with it and it's broken and you can never use it again and it's rubbish. Kick the thing into the corner where nobody can see it; where only people who visit you will see it, wrecked in the corner, like a homeless... poor, unloved, and useless. Leave it there. Leave it there to rot. Unless you sometimes wish to adorn it with glitter while talking to it in a very loving way.

5) Your computer seems to have a slight glitch and you might need to take it to the fixers of computers; technitions. Now, here you would quite simply get a huge baseball bat or hammer, put the computer where you can see it can't get away, and smash the object sideways or from ontop, until.... until... until it's broken into smithereens and there are shards of spinning plastic and bits of computer chip everywhere. If there was a favourite cd of yours inside, and it got broken till it couldn't work, then all the better.

6) When your toilet is leaking, and water is all spilled about the bathroom floor, the solution is easy. First you must get a paintbrush specifically identified for using with enamel paint, and this will be green enamel paint. Okay? So, when you're toilet is leaking, paint your toilet using green enamel. That ought to do it.

Well, I hope you enjoyed these few tips, and I hope you'll enjoy fixing things using them!! Have you any household tips you would like to add to this?

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