Burning Crosses - Part 10 - Good bye

If anything was to freak me out more than that horror show of an all-white house, I'd be surprised, but when Ben showed me the barn, I realized that my father was little more than someone with obsessive compulsive disorder. Despite the lingering stench of crap permeating the air, the barn was clean and organized to the point of looking more like a showcase barn. Something that was meant to view, but never touch. I stayed in the doorway, looking about with huge eyes.

"Christ," I muttered to Ben, who'd stepped into the darkness of the perfect barn, "he sure likes everything organized, doesn't he?"

Ben smiled. "Crazy, isn't it? If you think he's weird now, wait till you hear one of the rules he has for this barn."

"What's that?"

He pointed at a barrel in which all the rakes, hoes, and brooms were placed. "See that?" I nodded. "You have to have all those tools leaning into the corner, placed upright in the barrel. If one is even leaning away from the corner, he'll throw a fit."

I gave an indignant snort. "Oh my God!" Has anybody ever suggested therapy to Jack? Anybody that organized and fastidious ought to get their head worked on!

Ben showed me around the plantation grounds – the fields, the apple orchard, and even a small swimming hole that he'd use when the weather was nice. There was a thin cluster of trees between our plantation house and the cabins where some black people lived – Ben's girlfriend included. Apparently, those cabins were remnants from when people used to sharecrop for the family that previously owned the plantation before Jack bought it in 1940. But nestled in those trees was an old well that was still in use by the blacks, who didn't have running water in their homes. They still drew the water from this well for their baths and washing down their homes. And the smelly old outhouses in back of their homes were still in use.

The well was a small, stone structure that was surprisingly sturdy for something so old. I leaned against it as Ben gazed longingly at his girlfriend's cabin.

"Why aren't you married to her?" I asked as I glanced down into the murky water below. The noon sun cast enough light to illuminate the deep, narrow shaft. Down at the bottom, I could see my reflection rippling on the surface.

"Because the Klan will have my head if they so much as find out I'm dating her. Those segregation laws are still very strict here in Heaven. If I so much as kiss Larissa in public, the Klansmen will see to it we both suffer tremendously."

"That's stupid." I pulled my package of cigarettes from my pocket and stuck one in my mouth.

Ben's shoulders drooped. "It is. I only wish there was some way I could put a stop to the Klan. Make them suffer the way they made others suffer for nearly one-hundred years." His gentle mouth twisted into something terrible and his eyes blazed with fiery hatred.

I exhaled a cloud of smoke. "You could always become a civil rights worker."

My cousin merely shrugged and continued staring intently at the cabin. I sucked hard on the unfiltered Chesterfield, finding it calmed me after all the turmoil of today. I dropped my eyes back down into the well and saw that someone else's face was reflection alongside mine. I squinted and leaned forward to get a better look. Someone, I could see, someone in dark clothes was standing right beside me and had their head turned toward me.

I glanced at Ben, but he was standing too far away to cast any reflection down there. Anyway, he wasn't even looking at me. I glanced down again and saw that I was, yet again, alone. I immediately jumped away from the well, my legs doing trembling exercises as I tried to look cool and collected. Remember the acting classes, I told myself, remember to put on a false front and pretend everything is okay. There is no such thing as ghosts! No such thing at all!

"You okay?" Ben asked.

"I'm just…fine." I tried to smile at him, just to make it look like everything was fine on my behalf. I didn't need for him to worry about me. I didn't want anybody worrying about me – all I wanted was for people to leave me alone and quit babying me like I was some delicate piece of china that would fracture from even the slightest touch!

He grinned tentatively, a smile that lifted one side of his mouth, but not the other, as if he had a secret he shouldn't tell. "Come on. Let's go back to the house. There's nothing more to see on our property."

On the walk back to the house, Ben told me a bit more about the theater in town, the types of plays usually presented, and what the other thespians were like. They'd just finished presenting Anything Goes and were in the process of auditions for Oliver! and setting up the theater for a showing of The Wizard of Oz. Apparently, they not only did plays and movie showings there, but sometimes a live orchestra performed or sock hops were held in the spacious basement while the radio poured out some Bill Haley and his Comets or Fats Domino. And, best of all, the place was integrated. Blacks and whites alike were allowed in that theater.

Once in the house, Jack's shadow fell over us as we stepped in the back door.

"Good," he spat. "Yer finally done with that tour."

"Is my mother still here?" I asked, staring deep into his eyes. Standing this close to my father, I never before realized how old he looked. Even Dad, who'd been at least a few years older than my real father, didn't look quite as old, quite as torn-up. Instead, youthfulness had sparked in his eyes and he was always ready to laugh or tell a joke. Why this man looked so hard and angry was beyond me.

"Yer mama's gittin' ready to leave. She and her john are inside th'kitchen." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. I smiled at the thought of Rob being called a 'john', but my father bent at the waist toward me, sniffing the air between us. "Do ya smoke cigarettes?"

"Yes." I took a step back, bumping into my cousin.

"Yer breath smells like smoke." He straightened up and brushed off his clothes. "Please refrain from smoking 'round me."

"Yes sir." I sidestepped him, hoping he wouldn't kick me out all on the count of my smoking habit.

I found Mom sitting in the dining room, still, with Rob, Cookie, and Kelly Sue. She tore her eyes away from my stepmother for a moment and favored me with her famous Rita Hayworth grin. "Hi, sweetie. Did you enjoy the tour?"

"It was nice."

She rose and drifted close to me. I breathed in the strong scent of her jasmine perfume. "Well," she said to Kelly Sue, "I'd best be leaving, heading for L.A."

"Very well," Kelly Sue said. "We'll lead ya to th'door, then."

Cookie stayed at the dining room table, sullenly looking over the Bible while us four moved into the foyer. Mom immediately drew me into her arms and held me tight against her, one of her dainty hands moving through my black hair. "Rune, darling," she cooed, "I will miss you dearly and I will call you up as soon as Rob and I reach Los Angeles. And when I get my life back to normal, I promise I will send for you." She planted a kiss on my freshly-shaven cheek. Her thumb wiped away the lipstick that kiss had smeared all over my skin.

I moistened my lips. "When do you think you'll be out in California?"

"Oh, I'm guessing a few days, at least. But I promise I will call you once I get there. And I have your uncle Danny send the remains of your things down here and you won't miss Boston a bit, I assure you."

"I know…but I wish you could take me with you. I really don't want to stay here."

"Rune, you know this is what is best for you. Let go of some of that stubbornness and you'll be just fine." I hugged her again, looking over the top of her head to where Jack was standing in the middle of the foyer with his fists resting upon his hips. Yet again, I saw that strange look upon his face. The one that made his eyes narrow and thinned his lips to a line.

I released Mom and opened the front door for her. Rob, on the way out, smiled crazily at me. "Buh-bye, Rune! Hope you have a nice time here at this ole plantation!" he hooted drunkenly. I wanted to punch him right in the kisser and laugh as he was bent over on the porch, trying to pick up his broken teeth. I clenched and unclenched my big fist like a boxer ready for a fight, but I didn't intend to deck him. Not yet, anyway. Not until he ticked me off to the point of wanting to kill him.

"Good riddance," I grumbled under my breath, hoping that, while out in L.A., Mom would get a clue and get rid of this loser. I walked out to the truck with them and watched as they clambered into the seats. Mom promptly rolled down her window and stuck her head out.

"Be good, Rune. I will phone you as soon as I am in Los Angeles."

I smiled wryly and folded my arms tightly across my chest. "See you later." I was sure that I would see her later – much, much later! I couldn't imagine I would be anywhere near L.A. anytime soon. For some reason or another, I felt doomed to be bonded to this house, even to my dying day. The vibes were snaking out from the windows and the screen door, wrapping tightly around my body, forming a force field I couldn't bust through. If there was some way to break the evil force field, then I couldn't tell what it was.

Mom flung one more good-bye to me before Rob gunned the engine, causing the truck to jerk back so hard she nearly banged her head on the dashboard. I winced, my teeth gritted tightly. God, I hoped they made it to California in one piece, though I couldn't be sure with Rob's driving. He made me look like a perfect driver, and I'd gotten in three car accidents so far, one that totaled my vehicle and two others that just smashed my fenders or caused a bad dent.

I shifted my shoulders in the stiff blazer and drifted back inside the gigantic plantation home.

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