Date: 1/30/2005 4:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 63041
No one should ever "hide" their intelligence, or vocabulary if it is a normal part of their speaking patterns. If they choose to be deameaned by your extensive knowledge of words, that I believe, is their issue not yours. Now, that said, I have found many situations in life, where I chose to speak at a different level to someone, but this arose from the understanding that the situation was one in which comprehending what I was saying was the important thing. Training people, helping a friend, asking something of a stranger. This was done for the situation, not to hide a large vocabulary. It is important though to remember that not all people have the resources that others do. Lack of a large vocabulary does NOT go hand in hand with lower intelligence. So, speaking to "match" the situation usually makes for a better conversation and deeper understanding from both people. Do not "hide" NKA...never hide...but remember compassion can be used in many ways....changing our words could help keep someone else from feeling less.  |
Date: 1/30/2005 5:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Wouldn't it be better to use the words that I always use and offer to decipher them for someone who doesn't know? I think that could be considered a small gift. There are different ways of equating intelligence. I do find that most intelligent people are well read. I have also noticed that you don't need to be intelligent to be successful. Being resourceful could be viewed as intelligence when it isn't, in my opinion albeit; resourcefulness and intelligence are, obviously, not mutually exclusive. I'm not going to hide for anyone. I am who I am and I am proud of whom I am. I usually make that clear to anyone who questions me about it. Typically, other than a few words that slip out, I do talk to people on their 'level' if for nothing else, it’s to get my point across but I find it very difficult to write that way, regardless of my audience although; most of the time when I write, I am writing proposals and contracts that are sent to an audience that demands that I use proper English.
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Date: 1/30/2005 5:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 63041
Speaking is different than writing. Offering to decipher for someone a word you used that they don't understand...well...that would depend. If they are willing to learn or show interest, then yes, that is a small gift from you. But if they are uncomfortable, insecure...this could be misconstrued as being "snotty" and "demeaning". The art of conversation, making people feel comfortable enough to want to "rise" to the level of your vocabulary is a delicate dance. Read their body language, watch their expression...if you can "read" them...it helps in deciding which way to go. Speak differently as to be considerate, or take a moment to teach someone. Writing...you should always write in the words and terms that is uniquely you. If people understand immediately the words, great...if not, they can take a moment to find definitions of what they didnt understand, but in this way, there is no sense of feeling "stupid". No one has to know but them that they didnt know the words. Bottom line...you be you...but be a loving, considerate, compassionate you. Don't let what others say in harshness from their lack of desire to grow make you become inflexible in your choices. I hope that made sense. |
Date: 1/30/2005 5:22:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
I also wanted to comment on what you said about resources. That really hit me because I am very sensitive and it really breaks my heart when I see a child with so much potential turn out to do nothing with their lives because they grew up seeing that no one around them has done anything commendable and they don't know any better. There are certain parts of this country where the areas are so depressed that the majority of the people in a town like that are deprived of a proper education and upbringing. It’s sadly cyclical.
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Date: 1/30/2005 5:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 63041
Yes, and those children have such wonderful questioning minds. You can see it in their faces, but after being supported time and time again they give up. This unfortunately sets the tone for their lives. The cycle continues sometimes from generation to generation. It happens with adults too though. Libraries, the supposed place for all to learn and grow...isn't always "free". Where I live, anyone can go in, but you must have a driver's license to take out a book. Well, many many people don't have one, and they can't afford the 20 to 30 dollars to get an "ID" card. That money puts food on the table. It's an overwhelming predicament for many...so they just get through life, hiding what they "don't" know because they have no resources to learn more. Such a wonderful topic you opened here NKA. |
Date: 1/30/2005 5:28:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
You make perfect sense and I agree with you. There are certain situations and people where it would not make sense to throw my vocabulary around, so to speak. I do try to speak proper English with my children, though, as much as possible so that they can learn but even with them, I do find it to be necessary to talk to them on their level so they understand what I am saying. It's really amazing to see my girls grow in their own vocabulay skills. I'm really proud of them. I really don't sound like a dictionary when I am hanging out with my friends and family, LOL Sometimes, like I said, a stray word that most people don't know the meaning of pops out but for the most part I think I am an effective speaker. I like to talk too much sometimes. I also agree with you about the written aspect. I have always said that if someone is interested in knowing or understanding something that I have written; they are more than welcome to ask me or they can easily just look it up |
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Date: 1/30/2005 5:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 63041
You are giving your girls a wonderful gift by teaching them to always keep their vocabulary growing. And reading. Goodness, I have learned so many words and definitions by simply reading. I encouraged my kid to read all the time. It took him a few years and the "Lord of the Rings" book, but he is as voracious about the written word as I am now. Hey, I am constantly learning also, I have found that even in fiction books, I have gone to pick up the dictionary to see the meaning of a word. It actually makes it enjoyable and validates what I tell my kid...even in a good "made up" story, you can learn something! |
Date: 1/30/2005 6:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 33286
what does vocabulary mean?  |
Date: 1/30/2005 6:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 58308
LMAO!! You go girl!  |
Date: 1/30/2005 6:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
that sure was a lot of big words!! hey, if you know them and you know how to use them go for it. i don't see why people have to say anything about it. i mostly use common everyday hillbilly. i know bigger words but i don't bother with it!! that's called LAZY!....on my part i guess. i don't think any more or any less of you or anybody else no matter how they talk. i think the ones that bother with mentioning it to you probably think they sound dumb. so use big words or little words. usm doesn't care!! but when you talk to me will you please talk slow!!  |
Date: 1/30/2005 7:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hi, NKA I love the way you write and I actually "get-off" when I have to look up a word. It's all about learning. Write on....  |
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Date: 1/30/2005 7:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 33286
poetry is a craft, and I ask you-- why would you want to limit your building materials? --every house contains the same basic elements, roof, walls, floor, a place to cook, a place to get clean, a place to sleep, and while every house is basically identical in it's language, it is the vocabulary of the builders and designers that dictates the overall look. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 7:35:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
thank you all for your replies. Tim, I love how you explained that. Your reply is poetic |
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Date: 1/30/2005 7:37:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Wow, I've never heard of a library requiring someone to be licensed to drive to borrow books. That's really limiting bordering discrimination. What a shame. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 7:39:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
moma bug, I have no problem speaking slow I like to be very articulate in conversation. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 7:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 33286
heh, I got my computer fixed up a bit, it may be time for me to start erecting my mud huts again, lol. |
Date: 1/30/2005 7:43:00 AM
From Authorid: 31765
A pet peeve of mine is when someone is writing, and places (sp?) behind a word. If you don't know how to spell it...LOOK IT UP! Grr. Laziness. Good post, NKA. Haven't seen you in ages and hope you're doing great  |
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Date: 1/30/2005 7:45:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Hack, as long as you have fruit to share with us all I miss your fruit poems. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 7:47:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
LP! Wow, long time, no see, girl! I hope all is well with you. I must admit, sometimes I am lazy and I'll forget how to spell an every day word like 'who'. I am so serious, too. I will use the (sp?) out of pure laziness. I don't do it that often. Usually just when I have a brain fart. So how have you been? What's new with you? |
Date: 1/30/2005 8:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 62753
NKA--- just be you--- thats all thats important  |
Date: 1/30/2005 8:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
I seriously think people think you are talking "down" to them when you speak intelligently. I tend to use larger words and then I get told I am a snob or made fun of because I choose to use words that suit the discussion I am having. My thought..Those who can, do..Those who can't whine about it.  |
Date: 1/30/2005 9:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 62998
the problem here is not you, its the education system. You being able to express yourself is a sucess. Other people not being able to understand you, is a failure of the system. I would pride myself on being well read and having an expansive vocabulary. Don't lower yourself, raise them up, if you can. If you can not. Sorry not your fault - Typo Demon  |
Date: 1/30/2005 10:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 18527
I totally agree and have also been accused of being arrogant because I don't "dumb down" my vocabulary. You rock!  |
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Date: 1/30/2005 10:52:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
If I combine LL’s last sentence with what Typo demon said; it would go like this old cliché: Those who can, do and those who can’t, teach, LOL! Seriously, though, I do get tired of people pointing out that I use words that they are unfamiliar with. It's not like it was just a one time thing, either. I've heard it a lot over the years but just recently, having heard it from 3 different people, seemed to have irritated me more than usual. Maybe it is just bound to happen more now that more and more people are graduating from school illiterate. |
Date: 1/30/2005 10:55:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Thanks, Keth. It really does help to know I am not alone in this. I don't make it my mission to make other people feel inferior. I think if someone feels inferior it's because they allow themselves to feel that way. I'm not going to live my life walking on egg shells for anyone.
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Date: 1/30/2005 11:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 36704
You shouldn't have to change for anyone. If people feel inferior or bad about their vocabulary, they can pick up books and increase their own.  |
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Date: 1/30/2005 11:06:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Exactly, Base. For the most part, we have that option here to be able to do that. |
Date: 1/30/2005 11:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 28946
Hi NKA. I don't have a problem with your use of the big words for I keep a thesaurus handy so I can learn too. If a person gets used to saying the word a few times everyday then it will be added to theur vocabulary. Please don't let anyone make you feel you have to defend yourself for being intelligent and able to use many different words to describe things. I wish I was able to converse as well as most of the people here but alas, I read better than I talk. Stay the way you are Hon and be proud and remember that they might be jealous of you.  |
Date: 1/30/2005 11:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 7574
People called me a nerd because I would carry a dictionary and thesaurus around with me. Pocket sizes, mind you, not the big bulky version. I loved looking up alternate words to enhance my writing. Sometimes when I was bored I was would just look up random words in the dictionary. I'm a big fan of grammar and spelling, almost obsessive about it, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. If you have a vocabulary, use it. If people don't understand the exact meaning, there's always context clues. I would much rather be around someone who used proper English and large words than someone who didn't.  |
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Date: 1/30/2005 11:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 7574
But I'm obviously not obsessive enough to proofread--yet... |
Date: 1/30/2005 2:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Penny, I think you write fine. I don't mind if everyone doesn't write as well as I do. I like the fact that I excel and certain things. I am sure there are plenty of things that other people do that I wouldn't get the hang of... I really stink at certain things. I can't for the life of me ever seem to ever fold a sheet right or make my bed the way I think it should look. I know that may sound trivial but it bothers me that I can’t do it. I don’t think I will ever stop trying to do it, though.
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Date: 1/30/2005 2:50:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Amers, I do that all of the time. I have ADD and sometimes paying attention to detail is my downfall. Other times paying too much attention to detail gets me in trouble. |
Date: 1/30/2005 2:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 62267
I have no problem with people using big words. IF I don't know the meaning it just bugs me until I look it up. Also I use (sp?) sometimes. It doesn't bother me to see people using it because I know what it means. Noone wants to keep their nose in a dictionary looking up how to spell a word just for a comment on the internet lmao.  |
Date: 1/30/2005 3:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
Although I don't use the plethora of words that you do...LOL. I tend to have a larger vocabulary that causes people to stop and ask me what I mean. Biggest one it hurt though was my daughter. She was about 2 1/2 years behind in speech and comprehension and I will never forget the day she asked me what the word difficult meant. She was about 5 or 6. It occured to me that everytime I said to her "Is that difficult for you to understand?" She had NO clue what I was saying to her and I being her primary caregiver realized I played an important part in why she was so delayed. I didn't realize that when talking to her I had in sense tried to teach her to multiply and divide before adding and subtracting. I had to learn to dumb down to her level for her own sake..LOL  |
Date: 1/30/2005 3:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
Now this sounds more like you. LOL No if ya can use the bigger words then do so. Heck somtimes I can even spell the bigger words. LOL, I hate it because I can use the right vocabulary, but some of it I just can't seem to spell, hence, I write like a hillbilly. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, besides if a person does not understand the word your using maybe they will look it up.  |
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Date: 1/30/2005 3:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
But then on the other hand I also think no one should come against someone that has made a comment and it has spelling errors in it. Sometimes its just a typo but sometimes people have learning disibilities and can't seem to get the spelling right. Or grammer ect. Of course if they are claiming to be highly intelligent, then ya, rib them about their spelling. LOL |
Date: 1/30/2005 4:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 49037
This reminds me of something I heard at work a few years ago... I knew a girl who played a character (this is at a theme park), and this character is French. The actress was mad because her managers told her not to speak French while out with the guests. She didn't understand why, since the character is French. They told her that another girl who plays the character doesn't know French. The first girl was furious, feeling like she was being forced to downgrade her character because someone else was less compentant than she. I thought she was absolutely right, since the character is supposed to be French!  |
Date: 1/30/2005 6:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 62915
I totally agree. I swear I am so sick of hearing "OMG you are soooo smart" just because I use big words when writing and things like that. I feel I do have a wide range of vocabulary but I tend no tot use it as much when speaking. Keep on being you! Ghost-Chick  |
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Date: 1/30/2005 8:42:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Az, tried to call you on Friday... Anyway, I can see where your situation would have been one to step back and think about. I'm lucky in that respect, I suppose. My kids never hesitate to ask me what a word means. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 8:46:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
FB, I don't ridicule people for their spelling unless it is clearly out of laziness or I can see that they are pruposely trying to annoy me. I make typos a lot and I really mean a lot. What gets to me is when someone tries too hard to sound intelligent and attempts to degrade me whilst using words out of context i.e. the last paragraph of this post. I've actually heard someone say that the way that I talk to people is downgrading based solely on my use of different words than they are accustomed to or that they don't know or care to know the meaning of. Not only is it not downgrading, it isn't degrading either. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 8:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
Ya did? Where the heck was I? LOL |
Date: 1/30/2005 8:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Ghost chick, I do think I am smart. As a matter of fact; I know I am. I have a myriad of reasons other than vocabulary to support my claim. I've heard a few people speak using superior vocabulary skills and they were dumber than a box of rocks. I went to school with a kid that could recite the whole encyclopedia Britannica but yet he couldn't spell his own name.
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Date: 1/30/2005 8:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
Oh I slept in all morning, went tanning, went to my mom's and then went out for the night. I wasn't home...LOL Oh there ya are on the caller ID! I didn't even check it which is really unlike me...LOL |
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Date: 1/30/2005 8:54:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
FB, notice my horrible typo in that reply to you,LOL |
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Date: 1/30/2005 8:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Freaq, even if I had one in front of me, I would still probably be too lazy sometimes to use it. Besides, it is always stupid common words that I seem to forget every now and then. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 8:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
pigtails, that would have made me angry, too. Why call a character French and then prohibit it from speaking French? Why ever prohibit the use of any language? I love different languages. I am so intrigued with how people communicate. |
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Date: 1/30/2005 9:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 28946
NKA, sometimes I get the words mixed up and so use something out of context without meaning too and I often am embarrassed as I catch myself. It's not that I am not used to using the right word or trying to act intelligent but something in my brain malfunctions and this is because of medical conditions that aren't visible. If I have this problem, then I'm sure others do too and well, like I said, i get embarrassed if I think I've used the wrong words orally or by writing and and ask the person or persons to forgive me. |
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Date: 1/31/2005 4:36:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42792
Penny, I am sure a lot of people have conditions similar to yours. I don't disgrace anyone for not doing things the way I do. I only set standards for myself and my children. I just don't want people putting me down for who I am. I know I can't stop it but I needed to vent. You don't need to apologize for every little mistake that you make with anything. No one is going to be hurt if you confuse there with their or hear with here, etc... |
