My name is Tom and I'm an addict. I am going through my second round of recovery and the lst step of N/A or A/A is "We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and that our live's had become unmanageable". 1987: When I woke up in a car- in Panama City, Florida- and I didn't how I ended up there, or where the guy's in my band were, or who's car it was- it didn't dawn on me that I was powerless against anything or my life was in any way 'unmanageable'. 1989: When I woke up by a river in Missouri- and it was pitch black and I had no idea of where I was or where I was going, in order to get back to where I was supposed to be- still no clue. 1990-2002: As I spent every last cent I had on 'drugs', as well as every second of my life trying to obtain 'drugs'- there were times when it would get old, but it never hit me that I was powerless.
As it affected every relationship in my life. As it affected every dream I had ever chased. As it consumed me and slowly destroyed me inside- Help of any kind just didn't seem to fit my criteria, until I met a woman and shared my history of addictions, depression, and sorrow- that I could see a different vision of my life. She helped me get a glimpse of what it is to be 'POWERLESS' and see for myself that my life was a total mess......
Once I realized how lost I had become and how much darkness had engulfed me- I began to pull myself from the raging waters that I had been drowning in. She became a 'hero' in my life. No-one could break through and reach me, until I met her. No-one could make me confront certain issues that had finally gotten the best of me and had beaten me down. No-one penetrated the large wall I had built around myself- until I met her. No-ne, I guess, understood me.
I live a drug-free life now and all of a sudden the dreams that seemed so impossible and out of range- seem obtainable. Step One is the beginning of recovery & I know we have to do it on our own- no-one can go through recovery for us- we have to admit we need help and we have to want it, but sometimes some of us need a tender push and words of encouragement- people who live their lives trying to help others are special to those who are lost in their addictions and don't know where to begin- putting their lives back together....
I love you Kathy Noel........... You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author:  44424 ( Click here )
Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
|
