Date: 12/30/2004 9:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 60395
it would depend on the situation, i would try to definately and i would go to marriage counseling, but if all else failed i would separate, but being against my religion i would never date again or re-marry unless an annullment was granted  |
Date: 12/30/2004 9:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 3688
Forgive, yes....forget no. It may sound harsh of me but that is definitely something that would destroy our marriage...I love my husband dearly but I don't think either one of us could get past it.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 9:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 27046
I guess it would depend on the reason why. Most people cheat because there is or was something lacking in the relationship that they are getting from the other person.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 9:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 62938
My wife and I broke up after 10years of marriage for three months. I was against adultry, but did it.I was on the bottle so to speak.My wife had an affair also. We have been married 27 years this November 23. I have been dry since 1986. Since then alot has gone wrong in our lives, that would have broke some marriages up. But we are making it working things out and Hanicaping it so to speak. I think learning to except that person for who they are is important Unless they try it again then someone needs to say, That is enough. Some say that the third time is the end . I think the second time should be. That is just my opinion and there are some times it may not apply. Jason-5  |
Date: 12/30/2004 9:43:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
Yeah.. I'm a pretty forgiving person.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 15675
Honestly I wouldnt stand for it. If he loved me and we were married/or very serious together whatever and he ran off and was with another woman...well thats just wrong. I wouldnt stand for it in a new relationship either!  |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 25856
Hmm...probably not. If he had an affair, I would be heartbroken but would never be able to forget it. If he showed me he was truly sorry for what he did then maybe we could be civil to each other. If it was because of a psychological problem or drug/alcohol influence, and he went to rehab, I would forgive him and give it one more try. If it happened again I'd say..adios.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:17:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 18527
Yeah I don't think so either... and I'm not so sure about the whole "there is something lacking in the marriage" excuse for going out and having an affair. To me personally, that seems like a copout. I think if there is something wrong in a relationship, you talk about it, if talking goes nowhere, go to counselling, if that doesn't work, get a divorce, don't cheat.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 30630
I used to be able to forgive. But after the 3rd time I find it really hard to forgive anything. But thats just me   |
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Date: 12/30/2004 10:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
Let me clarify.. If I was in a new relationship and the person cheated on me.. no.. I wouldn't tolerate it. But if I was in a long-lasting relationship, yes.. I'd forgive them because I believe things like that can be worked out. |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 30229
Infidelity can be forgiven. I dont agree with the old adage "once a cheater, always a cheater"... I am 51 years old and I have seen people forgive their 'cheaters' and their relationship improve 100%... like maybe it cleared the air of some underlying problems in their marriages... ... ... on the other hand, I have seen it work in the other way too, where the cheating is so bad, and so frequent that there cannot be forgiveness. People try, but it just dont work because they cannot 'forget'... I think if a spouse finds out about cheating and still loves their spouse that it is worth a try to forgive and see if they can achieve the beauty of their relationship back and grow from the mistakes. .... does this make sense? lol  |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 19220
This happened in my first marriage. I took him back the first time but not the second. Now that I've been there done that, I won't do it again. By this I mean that I would end the relationship and not give a second chance. Like you, I forgive but I never forget. I love the man I'm with but if he were to step out then he can just stay out.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 49101
I am far to possesive, selfish, and jealous to EVER forgive infidelity. I might move past it, work around it... but it would ALWAYS be ther, and ALWYAS be a source of pain, and always cause me to be angry at that person. I just don't think I could get PAST it completely.  |
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Date: 12/30/2004 10:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 30229
Keth, I agree with you that it would be better to break up with a person rather than to cheat, but that is in a 'perfect' world, and since we dont live in a perfect world, we can only play the cards that are dealt to us. I am proud to say though, that my divorce wasnt caused by cheating, it was caused by that other "C" word... CONTROL.. ugh, I hate that word, lol... |
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Date: 12/30/2004 10:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
That's how I am too, Miss C (all the characteristics you described minus selfish).. I could forgive it, but inside, it'd always haunt me.. |
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Date: 12/30/2004 10:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 30229
Oh, one more thing and I will shut up, lol.... I think the saying "forgive and forget" doesnt mean exactly what it says... you can forgive, and of course you can NEVER forget.... the forget part of that is to try to NEVER throw it back into the persons face, that adds problems to problems. Although one never forgets, they can at least be silent so the guilty party can know for a fact they are forgiven and just may work very very hard to never let the injured party down again.... |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 62675
I have forgiven it 3 times from the same man. After the fourth I said never again!! I would probably forgive it once with someone new but not repaet offences!  |
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Date: 12/30/2004 10:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 62675
By the way I saw that show too and thought he was a jerk for leaving!! I love that show!! |
Date: 12/30/2004 10:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 11341
Nope, I could never get over it. Hubby and I have had several talks about it. Every time someone we know cheats we have another talk lol. We both agree there is never any reason to cheat. Leave, but dont cheat and go on like nothing ever happened. I dont think I would even be able to forgive surely not forget.  |
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Date: 12/30/2004 10:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 49101
Oh I admit I am selfish, when ti comes to that sort of thing... I am a MINE person. If you are in a relationship with Me, you are Mine... Put the voice of a little five year old in there if you will... Mine Mine Mine. I don't share. :P lol |
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Date: 12/30/2004 11:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 30229
LOL MissC... I can relate to that one. |
Date: 12/30/2004 11:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 36766
I would forgive, but I wouldn't forget it & it would probably make for some problems later on down the road because the thought of them cheating would remain in the back of my head.  |
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Date: 12/30/2004 11:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 49101
Well lets' think anout it, these day syou really MUST have that attitude... There are FAR too many risks involved, Pregnancy, and as the characters in that show learned all KINDS of diseases. |
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Date: 12/30/2004 12:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 18527
Oh I know Gail, I am just saying that in MY relationship that is how I would act, rather than running out and finding another guy. I love that show too... it took me forever to figure out where the husband was from, but I got it! He played "Dracula" in Blade: Trinity! |
Date: 12/30/2004 12:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 44321
I could forgive but my mind would not let me stop thinking about the person being a cheater, I would be heartbroken every time I looked at them... sure over time things might improve but how can you really stop the doubt ? Tough question Keth, I am a forgive but not really forget type of person. I know I joked with my husband that if he cheated I would knock him out and then some and then have a nice chat with the woman..  |
Date: 12/30/2004 1:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 63011
It would be really hard for me to get past. It's happened to me before, and it's what has ended relationships. It just left me thinking I must not have been good enough, and no one likes to feel that way. I think it's good that those relationships ended though, because if I would've stayed in them, I would wonder if the guy was being faithful every time he left the house. While the saying once a cheater always a cheater may not be true for some people, I think it is with others. And I wouldnt want to stick around in a relationship wondering if they'll do it again. -GreenClover  |
Date: 12/30/2004 1:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 39043
I'd have to agree with you. I'd forgive them but there is no way I would forget it.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 1:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 62100
I don't know..Part of me feels very strongly that no way in you know where would I forgive such a thing..but then again, part of me says thzt if he were truly sorry and worked as hard as I to rebuild the relationship and to regain my trust that maybe I could. However, there would be NO second transgression..one second chance is all I'd even consider.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 4:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 27583
i could forgive , would forgive and have twice.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 4:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
It is hard define 'cheating' somtimes their an arguement is flirting really cheating. somtimes their is somthing lacking in the realationship to make somone cheat, or other times the person just fells atracted to another person. I think though if my boyfriend slept with another girl and got her pregant or caught a desease then gave it to me I would be furious at him. Jerk!  |
Date: 12/30/2004 4:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 10798
It would depend on how sorry he was and how much grovelling and begging he did. LOL!  |
Date: 12/30/2004 5:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 53427
I went through this very recently, and I'm still in the process of trying to heal. I don't know if my marriage will survive this, but I am trying. Its hard to get off my mind. I can't pretend it never happened. My husband has a drug and alcohol problem too and is supposed to be going into rehab. His promise to go into treatment is the only reason I stayed in this relationship. I feel like the affair was brought on by all of his problems. I don't blame myself. I did some at first, but I realized that I did the best I could. And I did not deserve this. Anyway, I would appreciate if you guys could pray for me. I wanted to make a post about this but I couldn't work up the nerve.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 5:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 58553
My ex-husband cheated on me after 6 months of marriage.....I caught him red handed.......To Me that is the worst feeling in the world knowing the person who supposed to love you betrays you....I forgave him becuz I loved him.......Eventually things got better....for a bit then he did it again and again and again......and i forgave and forgave and then i didnt care anymore and then i met my current boyfriend and I got the nerve to leave my abusive, unfaithful husband of 4 yrs.....So Now ...I dont think I would forgive my other half if he cheated.....Once a cheater AlwAYS A cheater..I coulnt go through that again...Someone who cheats on you really doesnt care about you and therefore u dont need them in the first place...I learned the hard way..  |
Date: 12/30/2004 6:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
It's an age old question and I don't think that anyone can truly answer it until they have been betrayed in that way by someone they love. When I was younger, I'd watch shows like Jerry Springer and see all those people get cheated on, and I'd think to myself, "Those people are sooo stupid! I would NEVER take back a cheater!" BUT then I fell in love and got cheated on, and my whole perspective changed. I decided that I loved him so much that things would be able to heal themselves with time and that things would eventually be okay between us again. Boy, was I wrong. In my heart, I could never fully forgive what he had done or understand why he had done it. I was so hurt and it never went away, no matter what I did or how hard I tried to ignore what he had done. The wound never closed until I broke it off with him and went on with my life. Before that I was always reminded of the infidelity and how much it hurt me. Now, it is a thing of the past. I would NEVER take back a cheater again. There is no peace of mind ever again when your lover cheats on you. You always question yourself and their feelings. It's just not worth it to take them back and have that negativity hanging around you. In my opinion, if your partner truly loved and wanted to be with you, they would have never cheated on you to begin with.  |
Date: 12/30/2004 7:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 62682
I cannot forgive and forget...I think I can say that I would forgive, but I am not sure if I really would forgive. I think the affair would always be in the back of my mind making my suspicious and causing possible resentment and anger even after I had forgiven...but I am not sure that is forgiving..so I couldnt really tell you if I would or not without being in that situation personally.  |
Date: 12/31/2004 7:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 56489
I love that show House, I must have feel asleep I figured it was her that had an affair but didn't get the chance to know who with. Me I can't forgive or forget, I can overlook something for a while but it always and constantly haunts me, untill I leave or cut all ties per say.  |
Date: 12/31/2004 8:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 16115
I don't think I could forgive someone who cheated on me. My dad cheated on my mom when I was younger, and I'm just starting to forgive him for doing that. If I was the one cheated on, the relationship would be totally over.  |
Date: 1/1/2005 8:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 19625
Hmm, maybe, possibly, if it was a one-time mistake. But if it happend over and over, or they developed a romantic relationship with another person, I don't think I could forgive that. Erin-  |
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Date: 1/1/2005 6:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
In my opinion there are two kinds of cheaters. There are several men and women alike that cheat just to cheat for no other reason other than the fact that they can't control themselves. There are also several men and women alike that cheat because they aren't happy in their relationship for whatever reason. It may very well be a copout, and no it's not an excuse, but it's the reason it happened. My decision on whether to forgive my husband for cheating would be based on the situation. Sex and love are two totally different things, yet people equate them together as if they mean the same thing. They don't and I wouldn't consider a one night stand having anything to do with anything other than just sex. An affair takes emotion, and in that case I would be willing to guarentee that there would be no recouping from that. |
Date: 1/3/2005 1:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 42945
listen Keth...I think everyone is entitled to one mistake in life...but I think it would have to depend on the circumstances of the affair...how discreet it was, how long it had been going on and to whom it was with...to put it bluntly hun, if Ted did that to me, he'd need new corneas cause I'd punch his lights out LOL!!! hugs  |
Date: 1/3/2005 5:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 25828
i don't think so. i've often thought that all men will cheat at some point or another, so if you get married you should love him enough that if he cheats once you can forgive. but, it's too much i think. after something like that the trust would be broken. if he cheats simply for sex then he doesn't love you like he should. and if he cheats for love then it is an even deeper wound. i'm a taurus so loyalty is everything to me , i couldn't handle a cheater.  |
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Date: 1/3/2005 5:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 25828
so you've seen blade trinity? i haven't yet but really want to . i bet it's great 8-) |
