Bullies cited in suicide

Joshua Melo killed himself last Friday. His father blames bullying. MARISSA NELSON AND KELLY PEDRO, AND MARISSA NELSON, Free Press Reporters

A grieving Strathroy father, who says bullying led his son to kill himself, pleaded yesterday for school officials and students to end the harassment before more youths die. "I had to cut my son down from the tree. I told the kids at the funeral that if you don't get together and confront the bullies, it will be your parents cutting you down," John Melo said yesterday.

"You guys have to stick together, stand up to the bullies, take away their power and they will back down. If you guys don't do it, the system won't. Retaliation is not the answer."

Joshua Melo, a Grade 10 student at Strathroy District Collegiate Institute, died Friday after what friends and family described as incessant bullying. His funeral was Tuesday.

Melo had been subjected to homophobic slurs, some say, and an aunt said a sentence left on his computer before he died alluded to the fact teasing had resumed and he was sad.

"Nothing was done and it's too late now," said Natalie Moniz.

Melo said his 15-year-old son had been harassed daily.

"Joshua was the type of boy to bottle everything up inside and this had been going on for a long time -- a couple of months, maybe longer," he said. "It's more then heartbreaking."

Strathroy OPP investigated the death and have now closed the case, a spokesperson said.

But Strathroy-Caradoc police confirmed they're investigating threats involving students at the high school and looking at whether the Internet is involved.

"What we're looking at is what's going on now at the school," said Sgt. Rich Holmes.

"After these types of things happen, everyone starts finger pointing."

School principal Ron Newnes said while school officials are "aware of the allegations" about bullying, he wouldn't comment until police and internal probes are complete.

He wouldn't say whether students had been suspended or discuss what had happened at the school this week.

"We've had police in a number of times this week to help keep the school on an even keel," Newnes said. "This week has been very traumatic and difficult. We've had a lot of upset kids."

Melo said the family heard of problems a couple of months ago and spoke to Joshua, but said he told them everything was fine.

But the bullying started again, Melo said.

"Last Friday, Joshua couldn't take it anymore and took his own life," he said.

"Something went really bad and he just snapped. He couldn't take it anymore."

Some of the bullying took place over the Internet through instant messaging -- a popular form of chatting -- and some in the school's hallways, family and friends say.

Shelley Carrier, a mother whose two daughters were Joshua's friends, said she became angry when she heard of the death less than an hour after it happened.

"I was angry. I was very angry -- that someone could reach this point in their life that they thought this was the only way out," she said.

"Bullying has got to be stopped and it can't be unless teachers get more rights and programs are brought into the school."

Carrier figured Joshua was an easy target because, despite being accomplished at martial arts, he wouldn't fight back.

"When you hear more and more kids teasing you, you can't conquer a whole school," she said.

Her youngest daughter, who was close to Joshua and went to a dance with him last year, told Carrier about the bullying -- including verbal harassment and homophobic slurs.

"It shouldn't matter whether he was or wasn't, but it was the truth, that he was not gay. The bullies were just lashing out at him," Carrier said.

"Josh couldn't walk down the hall without someone laughing and teasing him."

Carrier said her daughter talked Joshua out of suicide last month and warned his family he was having troubles.

"This is the stuff you hear about in Toronto schools, not in a small town," Carrier said.

"I'm scared this could happen again . . . I have a son in Grade 7. In a couple of years, he'll be entering Grade 9. I'm scared to death of my son entering high school."

She said the school is divided over the incident and some kids have tried to retaliate against the main bully.

"I'm scared this whole town will be divided. The school is already divided. Let this incident be a lesson to everyone that this has to stop."

Carrier said some teens wouldn't stand on Monday when the school held a moment of silence for Joshua, while others said he "deserved to die," she said.

She wants students taught about bullying.

"Monday was out of control."

Carrier and Melo said teens were suspended after the problems Monday. But Melo wants more done.

"All we've got is political stuff from the principal. They say they couldn't control what was happening in the hallways. What kind of a system do we have?" he asked.

"I'm mad at the system."

Moniz, Joshua's aunt, said the school called Monday to say the situation was getting ugly.

Some students were being "hunted down" by others and police were needed, she said.

One student had to be taken home.

But Moniz said retaliation is not what her nephew would have wanted.

"We don't want retaliation in the way that we're hearing and the way people are behaving because it's disrespectful to Josh's memory because he was so non-violent," she said.

Moniz said she thinks bullying led to her nephew's death.

"They were saying that he was gay," she said. "What makes it even worse is I found out one of the young men was a childhood friend (of Joshua's)."

Moniz said Strathroy District Collegiate Institute should treat bullying the same way it treats violence -- with zero tolerance.

"Words can hurt as much if not more than violence and here's the proof," she said. "Even if they were aware of what was going on, there's nothing in the school system to suspend kids for bullying."

Newnes said the school has had every safe-school presentation offered by the Thames Valley District school board, from guest speakers to plays.

The school also arranged for four buses to take students to Joshua's funeral.

The school will look at naming an academic award in Joshua's honour, Newnes said.





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