I Remember ..... (to Jamie - a victim of suicide) by CaitieAnjel

I remember the way the cold seeped into my bones
Like it would never leave
I remember how I felt when I got the news
It was so hard for me to believe
"It's just a cruel joke." I thought
"Any minute now they're gonna break."
"He can't really be gone."
The reality was just more than I could take

I remember kneeling in the grass
My head against the stone
I remember crying and screaming silently
"How could you leave me here all alone?"
You and I were off in our own fantasy world
With our vampires, our fairy tales, our dreams
I thought everything was getting better
But I was more than wrong, so it seems

I wonder what went through your head
As you pulled the blade across your skin
Did you think about me and what I'd think
Or did you just laugh at committing the ultimate sin
Did you think about how hard I'd cry
Did you think about how my life would fall apart
Did you think about anything besides your tears
Did you worry that you'd break everyone's heart

Do you remember that night, Jamie?
The night when we talked about our fears
Mine was that I'd be left all alone
Yours was that no one would kiss away your tears
Well my fear came to life thanks entirely to you
You never even gave me a chance to protect you from yours
Now I'm left here missing you
And I'm on my own, fighting these hopeless wars

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