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HEAR ME - Donuts

  Author:  43807  Category:(Poetry) Created:(10/12/2004 6:33:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1263 times)

Hear Me

It all may sound cliché.
Its madness when I think.
How I could be lonely in a crowded room.
No one hears, I am gone
Screaming in a crowded room
No one hears, I’m sinking
Drowning in a glass box
Trapped, confused, grasping for air, reaching out for help,
Every one can see me, see right through me, every one sees, but they don’t believe am dying, inside and out.
I’m ill like broken dreams, deserted like a camel with no legs.
Failing with no promise, falling from the blue this is loneliness.
There’s someone missing.
They left out the door, and I disappeared.
Do you Hear me? ! !?

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Replies:      
Date: 10/12/2004 7:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 58553    well done........i liked  
Date: 10/14/2004 4:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 62184    i've felt that way before, as many probably have. i liked that. keep up the good work!  
Date: 3/5/2005 7:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 33286    ok, I had to check out the english majors' poetry, lol, you made so many typos tonight I had to hunt... I like this though, it could use a little tweaking, but it has potential... one thing that goes against it for me is the repetition of "a crowded room" in fact, I think it would look good if the first one simply said 'in a crowd' and the second one said 'in a silent room'... but that is just me... I did like this, all in all...  

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