A story about my son.

I was reading posts and came across the post that Adrianne wrote about her son turning 4 years old. And I remembered my 3 year old will be turning 4 next month. I also thought about the time in 2000 when I first found out I was pregnant with him about the hardships I went through with him. I was mabey 2 weeks pregnant and I told my boyfriend that I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. I had a 4 year old son at the time, and his dad gave up his rights to my son in 1996, because he did not want to pay child support. He was very abusive to me and my son when I was in highschool so my mom made me leave him. Any way when I found out I was pregnant with my my 3 year old I had only been dating his dad for about 2 months. I was very shocked to learn I was pregnant I was on birth control at the time and didn't know my boyfriend very much at the time. Well about 2 months into my pregnancy my boyfriend calls me and tells me he is breaking up with me that he does not love me and does not want me anymore. I am so confused, hurt and shocked that I was very sick to my stomach for a week. My mom tried talking to him and he told her the very same thing. My mom tells me that I should get an abortion because she does not want to see me a single mom again with 2 children that don't have fathers around. I became so depressed and confused that I call around and found an abortion clinic in Dallas, about 3 hours away from us. I was working the 11p-7a shift here at my job and when I got off at 7am one morning my mom takes me and my son to the clinic in Dallas. She drops me off and her and my son go and eat to let me do my "thing". I had been crying all morning and for about 2 weeks before becase I knew it was the wrong thing to do but I didn't know what else to do. I walk in the door, which are locked so some one has to come unlock them and let me in, and sign in and sit in the waiting area till they take me back there to get a sonogram. When they call my name they take me into an drs. like room and do a sonogram. Then they send me back out into the waiting room. While I was in the waiting room I was girls curled up into a fetus position crutching their abdomen as in pain sitting in the chairs in the waiting room, wainting for someone to come and pick them up. I start crying and breaking down becase I did not want to kill this child living in me. While I am waiting a huge truck pulls up and says medical waste on the side of it and 2 men come in and take out large drums or barrels of "waste", right there while I am in the waiting room!! I cry harder and am sooo scared. I chose the option of being put fully to sleep which is alot more expensive, but I could not be awake during the procedure at all. So they call my name again and take me into the drs. office and I sit at a desk with the dr. who does the abortions. He looks at my sonogram and I am crying and says are you sure you want to do this? I look down at my sonogram and whisper "no". He closes my chart and says to the nurse give her back all but 100 dollars of her money. He was very rude and sarcastic. But I go and sit outside and wait for my mom and she pulls up about 30 minutes later and is mad at me for not doing it. I told her I just could not. She said how are you going to take care of another baby alone? I said I'll just have too. Any ways driving to work that night I heard Leann Womack's song on the radio "I hope you dance" and knew right then and there I made the right choice. Me and my boyfriend ended up getting back together, he told me he was just scared and didn't know how to handle his emotions over this pregnancy because he had 2 brothers that died. One at 2 months old and one at birth. We ending up getting married when I was seven months along, and naming our son after his second brother who passed. We have been married 4 years now and named our 3rd son after his first brother who passed. When ever I hear the song from Leann Womack "I hope you dance" I cry becase had I not listened to my soul and went through with it I would have never "danced".Misty

Alot! I am thankfull how things turn out and make there selves right.

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