Counting Down From Zen

Two monks set out upon a pilgrimage. One day, they came to a riverbank and saw a beautiful girl who was unable to cross the river. Feeling compassion for her, the elder monk carried her across the river on his back, while the younger one looked on in consternation, remembering the rules of their order to avoid women.

That night, the elder monk quickly fell asleep while the younger one twisted around, unable to calm his mind. Finally, he woke up the elder monk and reprimanded him "As monks, we are supposed to avoid women. I am really ashamed and troubled by what you did today." The elder monk looked at his friend and smiled patiently. "Brother, I left the girl behind by the river bank. Why are you still carrying her around?" -- Eastern Parable

Often we choose to sleep rather than embrace the unpredictable adventure of a fully awakened life. By retreating into the shadows of our past, we project our desires into an imagined future. We adopt codes of conduct that tell us what to do in any given situation. Then we drift along on auto-pilot, claiming no responsibility for the result.

For those who've learned to trust awareness, reason, and compassion to guide their actions in the present moment, a new world is revealed. As their own will to action releases them from the bonds of past and future, they are free to merge with the will of the universe. In this merger lies freedom, true power, and the infinite process of consciously creating your life and the universe in which you live.

Several years ago, a new student dropped in on a meditation class. That evening they were practicing a simple counting meditation technique: starting at ten, with each exhalation you count back one digit. If you lose your place you start over. If you get to zero you start over. It is designed to improve concentration by helping you to notice when your mind wanders and to return to the meditation.

When they finished the meditation, the teacher asked the new student how she had done. "Oh," she replied, "I had a lot of trouble with this exercise. I started at ten and only got to six the first time before my mind wandered so I started over. The second time I got down to five, and then I saw a beautiful white light! I have never seen anything so beautiful. Every cell in my body wanted to dissolve into that light! But I forced myself to come back to the meditation, even though it was very difficult!"

The teacher found himself wishing that he'd seen that light his meditation and wondering how to explain that in meditation, as in life, there are no concrete rules. Ultimately, we always end up having to make decisions, even if it is only to choose to continue to follow the rules.

When we place more faith in a system than in our own present awareness and judgment, we all too often end up giving up the light in order to count back from zen.

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