Date: 9/21/2004 10:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 7952
Even though i'm only recently married, the love in my experience has only become much stronger.   |
Date: 9/21/2004 10:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
love is something you work at.. someone recently said that the key to thier marriage(50 year marriage) was that they were never out of love at the same time.. sure you will fall out of love with your partner at a few moments in the relationship but the key is to be able to fall back inlove with them over and over again  |
Date: 9/21/2004 10:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 21266
DW..thats so good to hear hon midnightly..and how is that achiveable? :\  |
Date: 9/21/2004 11:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
I've been through three marriages and ya know we all ask the questions that you have asked here. I only married my first husband to get away from home, so the ending of the marriage was really ended before it started because of my own reasons, I didn't really love him or should I say IN love with him. almost six years of trying and I walked out. My second husband I married simply because he left his wife for me, *NOT something I asked him to do.* So it was guilt but I did try to make a go of it, staying married for 14 years and having four children. Finally my hearts yearning for REAL Love, couldnt be satisfied so I divorced him. I've been with my husband, *third* for many years now, since 1989. Has he or I did things that should have ended a marriage? yes we have, but the thing about this marriage is I'm in LOVE with him and HE with me. It started out that way and it continues. We both have made a lot of mistakes, Kind of grew up together I guess, but were Just as passionate as we were when we first got together. Are there slow times in the relationship? Sure there are, but the good times are much more. Do I still worry about the things your talking about, yes of course I do, But if we worry about those things and not try to live life in the fullest, we will have never lived, nor had lots of good times and memories. So dont dwell on would have, should have, could have and maybe's, dwell on good times, give it your best .  |
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Date: 9/21/2004 11:04:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 21266
Firstborn..wow that really changed the way I view marriage..Im so glad for after *gets calculator* almost 14 yrs youre still stable as a couple..thanx 4 ur reply dear!! |
Date: 9/21/2004 11:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 62887
All relationships have its rocky points. The thing is, you CAN be in love, but just fade away. Its a scary thought, and I dont blame you for being scared. Im scared of the same thing. My parents were married for like 18 or 19 years and stress killed their relationship. Now my dad is married to a girl that I dont care much for. ~~Distraught~~  |
Date: 9/22/2004 12:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 12581
I'm a bad one for advice for this one  I loved my husband more than words but...he's gone, now living with my best friend. I don't think he's the norm, I feel it's different with any relationship, everyone is unique. I think he was just a weak, little boy n my friend was a manipulative, cold hearted witch. With perspective, I logically know I am far better off without either of them, that they do not know the meaning of love & for that, they will always be pretty miserable people. But I haven't lost hope though, in finding someone true to spend my life with. I hope I haven't discouraged ya too much This is all still really fresh for me, with time I'm sure, I'll be alot more okay with it. *HUGS* Hope you are doing well & Take Care  |
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Date: 9/22/2004 12:59:00 AM ( Admin )
Ginger and I have been married for over 30 years now. We were g/f b/f when we were only 15. Love for us never has faded. I love her more today than ever before. I think the key is to always remember to be the person the other person want's to love. If you do this, many times the other person will reciprocate and it will stay alive. But if you get into a routine and don't keep appreciating the other person and treating them as your still courting them then it will probably fade. |
Date: 9/22/2004 2:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 46530
Love and marriage are not intertwined unless the two participants work at things. Most people see marriage as a natural extension of love, and most men see their lives draining away when the divorce papers come through after she finds someone who doesnt just sit on the couch every sunday. Sorry for the cynical view, but marriage is a piece of paper in law, and a state of mind in a relationship. Preferably these two will overlap in both people's minds, but it happens less and less these days  |
Date: 9/22/2004 3:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 42945
well sweetie..I've been married for a long time, and I have to say that eventhough you may not like one another at various times, the one thing that keeps a couple together is the LOVE!!! they hold for one another, it takes two to make a successful marriage, and a whole lot of work from both parties...of course there will be arguments or disagreements, but I feel its due to us all being individuals, but to really love one another, is the most wonderful feeling in the whole world...if you worry about whether yours would last or not, just remember this...marriage is a gamble, a chance in a lifetime to spend the rest of your life with the man/woman of your choice...sometimes it doesnt turn out that way for everyone...but that's life hun...nothing is a sure thing....hugs  |
Date: 9/22/2004 3:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
Of course not! Love doesnt fade away as soon as the marriage vows are exchanged! My husband and I have been together almost 12 years, married almost 7 and I love him more today than I did the day I married him, and vice versa. My Grandparents were married over 50 years before they died and they loved one another to the end. After my Grammy died my poor Grampy was so lost and lonely without her.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 4:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 55386
I believe love is either there, or it isn't. It's like a garden, in a sense. If you tend for it, put all your hard work into it, and keep working at it, it's the most amazing thing ever, if you let weeds grow and take over, it never really was love, because you never took the pain and hard work it takes to be in love. I think marriage is just a word people can blame their past romances on.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 4:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 62876
Before reading any of the posts, I am going to reply, so they do not skew my answer. I have been married to the same man for 15 years, and I can tell you that the passion and lusty part of the marriage does tend to come and go. Most people aren't going to be as romantic and passionate in their relationship for all these years - you have to work hard at keeping that part strong. BUT, at the same time, we have developed a very strong bond and understanding for one another. I think happily ever after is possible, but it is hard work. I can honestly say that it is a labor of love,though. Despite the fact that we do not fall passionately into each others arms every time we see each other, I love him deeply, and he knows that. The funny part is that he probably works harder at the romance section than I do. I cannot imagine being with anyone else....HipChik  |
Date: 9/22/2004 5:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 62801
I wouldn't believe that if I were you, it's not true. I'm sure that you will have a great life and an awesome marriage. *LoveisAll*  |
Date: 9/22/2004 5:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 32070
I think Radman said it perfectly....  |
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Date: 9/22/2004 5:38:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 21266
oh wow..thanks everyone for your replies they really cheered me up ^_^ |
Date: 9/22/2004 5:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 58308
Marriage is what you make of it. If you let love slip away, that means you and the spouse aren't doing what it takes to hold the relationship together. Gary and I have been married for 15 years and are still going strong. Our love for each other gets stronger and stronger everyday. We communicate with each other, without it, you're doomed. You have to be able to talk to your mate, communication is very important. Keeping the flame alive, we go out on dates. I love to walk the beach with him by my side, hand in hand. We still go to the drive-in movies - that can be awesome! If you and the person you are with really want to make a life together and love one another, you will make it. *be sweet*  |
Date: 9/22/2004 5:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 18928
ok 1st of all great post, i think this completely depends on the couple and each as an individual. I love my husband more with each passing day becuase of what we have endured together, but i am defintely not as IN love with him as say the 1st few years of marriage. love is really NOT blind lol, but poeple can be sometimes. i try not to take my husband for granted and sometimes have to remind him to do the same, but every couple is so different. and i dont know if i answered the question, but i would do it all over again, after 8 years of being married. (ok most days i'd do it all over again. ) LOL  |
Date: 9/22/2004 6:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 18018
well i have been married going on 10 yrsand yes love does change you are not that young fun loving coulp[e like you were but you are growing stronger each day and there for each other cause they sayyoulearn something everyday well it is true we do both just last night my hubby helped out with the kids doing homework and with supper and laundry i have 3 girls and they drive me insane sometime but i would do it all over again in a min cause love is very strong if you work atit and dont let thelittle things add up to becoming nothing cause on down the road you will remmeber the time when you fought over stupid things that were not even worth it life is what you make of it sweetie and god gives us all a mate to settle our buts down and grow into strong women to teach our kids right from wrong and then the cycle goes on. 18018  |
Date: 9/22/2004 6:10:00 AM
From Authorid: 3648
I've been married 17 years now and I'm more in love with my hubby today then I was when we were married...To be honest a marriage takes work from both parties as equals..There are going to be highs and lows and how you treat each other through a low moment will make all the difference..Being able to communicate with each other is a big plus in any marriage. Appreciating the small things I think is the key to my marriage....A smile from my hubby does wonders =)... I have never really worried about our love fading for each other ...not that I take it for granted but I know his heart deeply..So yes, happily ever after is possible if you're willing to work for it, but don't allow it to become a chore if that makes any sense lol...  |
Date: 9/22/2004 6:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 15157
Absz does this mean yer thinkin on getting Married???? Can I be the Flower Kat?...Congrats!  |
Date: 9/22/2004 7:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
No, love doesn't always fade. It changes as we grow older. No one can sustain that first passion people feel when a relationship is new. You know, when all you can do is think about the other person and all that. Many people seem to mistake that passion for love and think when that fades, than the love is gone. There has to be something other than passion..shared interests, or at least an understanding of each others interests, respect for each other..I'm not saying that passion will completly go away in a long relationship..It can't be the sum total of a relationship and it seems many people don't understand that. Maybe because they see it on tv and think that is how real life works. Maybe to there is no incentive anymore to work through problems. It is so easy to divorce (Here in the US it is anyway).  |
Date: 9/22/2004 7:47:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 21266
interesting thoughts everyone kiki, no im not getting married not yet anyway  *mwah!* |
Date: 9/22/2004 9:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 16865
I have been married for 10 years. While it's not all peaches and cream, it's been worth it. He is still my best friend and we still love each other. If you love each other enough, you'll find ways to show your love to each other and work out every little problem. But most importantly, we are friends, have been friends since we met. If you marry a friend, you are more likely to make it.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 9:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
you need a slap in the face! NO! really, for us, it's been more than 20 years and i think it gets better every day. it is best to make sure you really know the person before you get married. i mean really know the person. it takes more than a week or a month. i had mine 4 years before we got married so we had both seen the best and worst of each other!! i wouldn't trade my old man for anything or anybody in the world. ok.......maybe george strait but nobody else!!  |
Date: 9/22/2004 9:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 18155
After 30 yrs., it hasn't faded, it's still there,just depends on if one works keeping it "alive" and "fresh".She acts her age, I act about 20 yrs. younger but we still love each other and I'd be miserable without her.We've learned to compromise, over the years, and the BR activity is as great as it was 1 day after we got married.Marriage is under-rated and sure beats just living together.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 11:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 13283
The courtship is the most awesome of a relationship . Things are so new and extraordinary . Then things do begin to taper off . Its just a natural process . Marraiges and relationships take ALOT of hard work . My lady / wife I already had the first 100 days planned for me and her . It is such a heavy weight to carry on your back when it comes to making your marraige interesting and sweet . I try to be as sweet as possible and I am always coming up with many ways to keep our life interesting , but it is very difficult . I will keep my candle burning for many many years . Razzy aka  |
Date: 9/22/2004 2:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 27558
Well the only reason I could think the love would fade is if you guys have been arguing a lot, for the most part you are in reality if love fades it wasn't meant to be, but don't get yourself worried sick over it either, if anything you two will fall deeper in love.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 8:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 32763
I heard this on Dr. Phil the other day. He was talking to an old woman that had been married for many, many years. She said she was still happily married and he asked her how they did it. She told him that through out the years, one of them was always in love. Meaning...people go through ruts. Sometimes you don't always feel like the emotion is that strong and they had been lucky that when one wasn't *emotionally there* the other one was. The key to a happy relationship (IMO) is respect and patience.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 9:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 19460
I dont think loves fades away after marriage...in most cases. People fall out of love all the time, but it doesnt mean it has to be that way for you. My husband and I have been married just over 11 years and I think I love him more now than I did when we got married.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 9:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
This is my second marriage. The obstacles we have lived through were huge. The love is enormous. I think when I see him sitting at the dining room table with my grandsons doing their homework how much he means or when he became their cub scout leader because no Dads were available or volunteered, or how he accepted my daughters, and their babies as his, and I can't imagine that love ever fading. It will last for all the rest of my life. Anyone who has ever seen my husband with my our grandchildren, understand totally. Not blood related, but love related. And devoted. After my first husband died, I never thought anyone could love my daughters and their babies as much, but it happened, and love like that is what binds forever.  |
Date: 9/22/2004 11:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 37900
It takes two committed people to make a marriage work. If, at any time, one or both spouses no longer want to invest in the marriage, the relationship is in trouble. Therefore, marriage is a risk. Loving another person is a risk. If you want a guarantee, you'll be disappointed. However, if there is no risk, there can be no chance for true love and happiness. Marriage cannot survive and thrive in a 50/50 arrangement: both spouses must be 100% committed. Because there are no guarantees, you must pick a mate that will greatly improve your chances of a lasting marriage. Are there long-lasting relationships both of you can look to for examples? Are your backgrounds similar? What about your religious training and beliefs? How do both of you handle money? What is the best way to raise children? What are your long-term goals for self-improvement, finances and employment? What are your expectations of yourself and your mate? My wife and I have been happily married for nearly 21 years; I cannot imagine my life without her. One thought has kept my love for her healthy: she did me a great favor by marrying me. By remembering that, I am working harder to avoid taking her for granted. Set your standard for a life partner high: it is better to aim for the moon and hit the top of the mountain than to aim for the ground and succeed every time.  |
Date: 9/23/2004 8:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Well, my marriage has changed but it's inevitable and I'm not upset by it. Life is always changing and so everything follows. Change can be a good thing though, it's what two people make it.  |
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Date: 9/24/2004 5:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
Your welcome hon, and sorry I didnt reply back sooner, went to nevada to see the hubby. LOL |
Date: 11/2/2004 2:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hi, Absz Sangelina and I have been married for thirty-three years. She is still my bestest friend. We make it a point to respect one another and that goes a long way. Write on....  |
