Date: 9/12/2004 4:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 22308
if i was a parent and my child did that i'd do the same thing. she did yell at you and now she's turning it around on you to make you look like hte bad guy. yep you did the right thing.  |
Date: 9/12/2004 4:38:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 47930
fuel girl thank you but she sure is making me feel really bad, we never fight like this. thank you for your advice..hugs  |
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Date: 9/12/2004 4:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 22308
yeah it sounds like something my cousin and her friend from across the street do all the time. they both get jealous when they hang out with someone other than eachother if they aren't together and hanging out. i just tell them to get over it and be nice since they live across the street from eachother. |
Date: 9/12/2004 5:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 7952
Sometimes you just need to be the mature one and go talk to her calmly. Tell her how you feel and that you saw the way people were reacting to her "tone of voice" in the Mall and that that is NO WAY to talk to a parent like that. You can NEVER resolve anything by giving the silent treatment, it just doesn't work. It causes more hard and hurt feelings and is not worth it. You should be the parent.. not talking and shutting off communication is what they do in high school between friends. This shouldn't be happening between parents and children. Even though you may be right and she is wrong it still does not mean that she will come around on her own.  |
Date: 9/12/2004 5:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 11341
I agree with DW. Well said Niecy.  |
Date: 9/12/2004 6:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 48941
Well first off I don't think you are wrong for wanting an apology, because I feel that she owes you one for disrespecting you as a parent. Second kids are difficult I know I have enough and they fight and then make up just like that with their friends. It is very agrevating at times. The one thing that I see wrong is that children even though we know they are yelling in their eyes they are not.But I used to yell back at my children to untill my fiancee taught me by yelling back at them makes it worse and makes you feel worse, so instead of yelling give them a firm talking to, but not yell. I hope this helps and good luck, oh by the way I am not saying that I don't ever yell because sometimes it happens.  |
Date: 9/12/2004 7:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
aw, that mother daughter thing is so much fun! I take it your daugther is a teenager, yes? Well, I think it is very charitable of you to try to meet her in the middle and question whether you were in the right, since most parents would automatically assume they're right. The bottom line is, you are the parent and you have the ultimate right to tell your daughter where and when she get to go and how long she gets to stay and you can't allow a tantrum to make you feel bad and undermine your authority, you have to stay firm. As far as the argument goes-- I think we get so hung up in arguments on who is right or wrong and overlook more important things like-- what is causing the argument. Why does your daughter throwing the tantrum? Does she feel like you aren't listening to her, or that you're embarassing her in front of her friend? And why are you yelling back? As you said, maybe because you feel disrespected, or are the other things going on? Why don't you approach your daughter and ask her how she felt when you asked her to leave, and maybe you can share with her how you felt when you saw her reaction. And then, maybe you can figure out together if there was a way that things could have been handled that would have made both parties happy. If you're careful to avoid accusations and just talk about your feelings, you might have an enlightening conversation that will help you guys understand one another better and perhaps avoid such scenes in the future. I think one of the biggest reasons teenagers quarrel and act out around their parents is because they feel like they aren't being listened to, so maybe if you can make her feel like you are listening she will be forthright with you.  |
Date: 9/13/2004 3:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 1799
DW gave some really good advice. but dang, she's acting like a little brat. i definitely think you're right, but you need to talk to her. ignoring each other won't do any good.  |
Date: 9/13/2004 6:02:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 47930
thank you all for your help and advice, well to let you know what happen after i responsed to fuel girls reply, i got off the computer and went into her room once again and started talking to her and she said that she was mad that i was making her leave the mall and her friends. she still says she never yelled at me, so i let it go. i told her I was sorry for yelling back at her after we got into the car and she said that was ok. but still never did i get a sorry from her, but that ok. we have made up because i said i was sorry! Lady Bug and Mollycat thank you so much for your wonderful advice and next time I will be sure to give that a try and not to yell. the bad thing is, that is my MAJOR down fall, i yell first then ask question later! and i know this is something that i have worked on for YEARS and am still working on til this day! i hvae done pretty good til yesterday  ughhhh i wish i could stop yelling and maybe this will help. thanks again and have a wonderful day! |
Date: 9/13/2004 7:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
I think she is acting like a typical overemotional teenager and she overreacted. I mean, you DID tell her you were coming to pick her up, right? Maybe she didn't want to admit in front of her friend that she called you to take her away from her, and made you take the blame for leaving so she wouldn't have to deal with her later. Don't feel bad, I would have done the same thing  |
Date: 9/14/2004 3:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 49311
I think that D.W said what I said to you I know that our daughter can get in to alot and sometimes does not always do the right thing,boy do I know we get in to it all the time b/c we are both hard headed but even I have to stop a be the parent sometime and I have to work on that too we all do stuff differnt so you do what you feel is right, there is no book on how to rise your kids but we need to learn from what we do I LOVE YOU MUCH MM  |
Date: 9/15/2004 6:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 53054
Giving your daughter the im not going to talk to you until you say sorry, might not work...just try and talk to her again, but maybe giving her the silent treatment will not work and just make her more mad....*hugz*  |
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Date: 9/15/2004 7:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 48941
I am glad things worked out for you and your daughter. As I siad I am not perfect I have always been a yeller when it comes to my kids, but I am slowly learning that yelling is not the way to go and to try and talk not yell. I am glad I could help though. |
Date: 9/19/2004 8:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 1443
one word, hormones. I have an 11 year old, and oh-my-God, I know how you feel. It seems like if they have more than one friend, the other seems threatened. Yelling seems like a past time here. The only thing I can say is let it go through one ear and out the other, but don't let her walk on you and talk to you like she is the adult, remind her of her place and that is the child. I wish you luck.  |
