= = = = = The Hormone Hostage = = = = = WOODEN NICKEL

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man

has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about... My significant other, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds

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Change does not necessarily assure progress, but progress implacably requires change. Education is essential to change, for education creates both new wants and the ability to satisfy them." -Henry Steele Commager

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To My Online Friends I had some free time, so what did I do? I checked the computer to see if I'd heard from you! I used to walk out to a box to retrieve mail. But I'd rather get it instantly, than wait on the snail!

Checking my e-mail is always fun! I usually get a joke or greeting from someone. I feel so blessed because on the other end, I know I've connected with a friend!

When I've had a hard day and need to share, Here I can find a friend who will listen and care. And to this friend I hope I've let them know That I am always there for them also!

Isn't it a strange kind of bond we form? It isn't exactly like the "norm"! But where is it written, face to face we must be, For you to be a very good friend to me?

That little joke or note, or just a simple "Hi", Could be like a ray of sunshine from the sky! So my E-Mail Pals, this is dedicated to you, For all the smiles you have made anew!

May our friendship continue to grow, And the warmth we feel continue to flow! Always remember this... A smile is such an easy thing to pass along the way, Like a ray of summer sunshine, On a somewhat gloomy day!!

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