True Story ---ice

A white rose takes form before my eyes,
Blooms so strongly in a world so severe.
So I asked myself, what is it about this rose,
Why is it when I imagine her, there forms a tear.

In need to try to understand its meaning,
To why me she chose to be displayed in such an art.
I watched the tear’s slow steady trail,
As it lead directly to my rapidly beating heart.

And I was relieved in knowing that their was trust,
Between my mind’s visionaries and my heart’s thunderous scream.
Together they were working alongside one another,
Searching for clues and hints to where may lie my ultimate dream.

Lost from the thoughts that arose within my mind,
Hurt from the aches that were felt so qualitative from my heart.
I could no longer see what was of a true reality nature,
As I was cursed with such a burden from the very start.

Destined with holding a heavenly gift from birth,
I was told to have been seen as one who would be like no other.
Granted with an art that would allow me to see the truths,
The Lord chose me to carry this colorful torch much farther.

From the beginning I had always been kind and gentle,
My heart always leading the way on making the rightful choices.
Yet my hormones would always play as a factor,
And my mind would as well add on, surfacing echoing voices.

It was me who believed truly in one Lord,
It was me who fought off temptations so strongly in my adolescence years.
And then the days got darker laced with stalking gray clouds,
I was shocked as one day on my knees I collapsed, and out from eyes dripped blood drenched tears.

My world paused for a mere second,
As I began to reminisce on the past and what would soon become.
Sweat formed as fear became an issue,
Afraid that only hurt and pain would be all that would come.

As such visions were foreseen to be in my life,
I couldn’t bear to continue knowing that I would never reach happiness.
All my life I had only ordinary moments,
Never one that was happy or joyful, only days of emptiness.

Many acts were done in a state of stupidity,
Words said that never were meant to be heard.
Life became more confusing than I had imagined,
I could no longer trust not one man’s word.

I was never the one to form enemies,
Not one sign of an adversary could be seen.
Yet friendship was also an issue that remained fragile,
Was afraid to expose the blueprints of my fictional dream.

Contemplating whether to continue as one of a few,
Or to live this life a norm just like the rest.
I was suited with the purest of all jewels,
With dewed petals of roses and heated sands I was dressed.

And then they laid out the rules,
Told me what would be the bad side of this life.
To remain lonely for the rest of my years,
Not one being would ever understand why in such a way you live your life.

Tears fell in mass forms as I knew what I was to do,
Choosing the only way that would satisfy me internally.
I was hurt to know that I would never hold such worldly treasures,
As I dreamt all my life of love and comfort, yet it was not included in my story.

So now that I am no more,
Now that my body is displayed before your very stunned eyes.
Try to forgive me for all those past wrongs I have done,
In the heavens is surely where my soul lies.

My heart is broken as I have seen way too much,
Shocked as my mind lost its marvelous touch.
I wanted to live out my remaining years,
Yet God called for my spirit to take me away from such.

My mother the gem of my heart,
The reason to why this departure is so hard.
I loved you with every piece of myself,
I just hope I became everything you had wished for me from the start.

Stop your tears from my way,
When at me you glance, I ask a smile you form.
I was indeed your little baby boy,
My heart bleeds knowing how long upon me you will mourn.

When the rain falls harshly in the outside,
Towards the stars allow your eyes to view.
The drops that fall on your skin,
My mother those shall be my kisses specifically sent to you.

A thousand hugs will never complete,
A million kisses will never really do.
But keep your pride of my once existence strong,
Give the people a chance to hear my words so true.

Father the strongest and mightiest of them all,
For your love and security I will always cherish and adore.
Never have I met a man with your standards and wit,
The glossiness in your eyes gave me the extra touch that allowed me above all to sore.

Be brave and strong in your mind,
Give your heart more control over your ways.
You were always a journey to get through,
I just hope for you and mother to remain in hopes of better coming days.

The Lord is not the one who did wrong,
For towards his form their should be no anger.
Send him prayers and thanks for all he has done,
For all my life he has kept me far from danger.

And the tears remain their flow,
Both from my eyes and my beloved siblings.
All my years of living and I have never seen such,
You made my life complete with your beautiful blessings.

My face you will never forget,
Memories engraved for eternity and more.
A brother I was in every way possible,
Happiness and love in your future is all I will ask God for.

Give me your word that you will never lose site,
That my image will forever remain.
Mourn me only for forty days and forty nights,
I ask that after this period, to live your life no longer in vain.

My family, love you entirety,
From my siblings to my kinships.
Never will their be another in such a status,
A family within its palm, rich history it grips.

Gratitude I give to those who tear,
Sympathy shown visibly clear.
As this pain and torment upon my soul I had in fear,
Reality had come forth way to near.

And right before I had laid myself down to sleep,
I prayed the Lord that my soul be in his safe keep.
In hopes that when I eventually fall in too deep,
That straight to the heavens my soul would leap.

And if by chance an angel where to call my name,
Declare upon me wings so that I may take flight.
I pray that upon you all I may hover,
Shower upon your eyelids blessed sand to help you sleep better at night.

And if I were to sleep and never wake,
A portrait of my loved ones I wish to take.
So Lord pick a star that I may rule with heart,
I wish to spark this star’s light so that its magic may start.

Now wish upon a star so high,
Wish upon my star that I chose for all those beneath that lie.
In hopes that when a prayer is sent towards its way,
That I may grant you with blessings for each and every one of your say.

I wish may, I wish I might,
Pray upon this star that I have been given the right.
To give those who bicker a reason to no longer be sad,
Stinging their miserable souls with miracles, only if such powers I had.

Heavenly father, see that I do no wrong,
Believe in my soul’s cry as it sheds to be free.
So that I may roam this world with no stress upon me,
In hopes that all who sleep tonight, will dream of a world so heavenly.

These are the truths I have rightfully declared,
My words pure in every drip of ink.
Now open your eyes and take a look around,
Such a tragedy, too sad to even try to fully think.

---S.B.
ice

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