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In the Shaddow of my friend

Author: 33041 Category:(General Advice) Created:(8/10/2004 7:29:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1199 times)

I haven't known Holly for that long. In fact, I just met her last summer, and not long ago we just started being really good friends. She's a very cool person. Talented, pretty, friendly, fun...not to mention, without doubt, likeable. But only recently had I begun realizing that I'm being pushed in her shaddow....following is some reasons i feel this way..

-I was happy to be starting track--I was going to do it with my friend megan. We were doing well, running well, the meets went great...but then holly decided to join and I was excited...but that didn't last long. She was doing better than me and my coach decided to replace me with holly for the relay runs--my favorites. That for me was extremely annoying to deal with...and I got to watch her at meets competing in the things I usually was the star of. Track season is done with...but I still remember this.

-I am a huge acting freak. I take classes as a local theatre in town. I love it. I am in plays and I have a lot of friends there. I told holly about me being in these classes, and she, the girl with stars in her eyes (she seems to have a stage pressence) decided that she is going to start acting at my theatre. I mean, I am excited to be with her, but I'm also afraid she'll..."take my place"...she'll audition for the things I do and get the parts I want...

-Another thing. Boys. I am modest, but I still have self esteem. But that slightly lessens when I am around boys with holly. Although I am not the kind of person that sits back and just listens to a conversation...I feel like "they" like her just a little bit more. I mean, it's not an OBVIOUS showing, because I am outgoing and collected around boys and I have many boy friends...but perhaps I am just being a bit paranoid. :P The "boy" thing isn't really a big deal to me, it's just a small thing that has build with the other stuff.

Anyways, The whole point of this posting is to ask for advice on how I can ease my jealousy around Holly. She is probably my best friend, but I am still in envy of her and her likes to be better at all the things I love....Anyways...Thanks for reading...I await the advice! :D

~Kaylee/WC

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Replies:

Date: 8/10/2004 7:35:00 PM From Authorid: 37101 There's only one cure for jealousy: Self-control. It's hard to do but you just have to force yourself to swallow your pride and not be jealous. You're you and she's her. As The Beatles say,"Let it be." -

Date: 8/10/2004 7:43:00 PM ( From Author ) From Authorid: 33041 erm...I'm not that big of a beatle's fan...But thanks anyways! Lol :P

Date: 8/10/2004 7:47:00 PM From Authorid: 37101 ...okay, you missed the entire point of my comment. *shrug* -

Date: 8/10/2004 7:49:00 PM ( From Author ) From Authorid: 33041 No. I did not. I was just insisting some humor with a small comment. Did I say I did not understand your comment? No. I understand, alright? Thank you. "Let it be." There's nothing really I can change. I can't make her lessen her talents. I caught the point...

Date: 8/10/2004 8:08:00 PM From Authorid: 62588 =0)~ I get jelous of my friends all the time. I handle it by telling them. It's out in the air, and no big deal then. Then, I support them. By reading your posts, I wonder if part of the problem isn't that Holly is pushing in on SO MUCH of your life?? It sounds like you really wished Holly hadn't joined your drama thing. What would of happened if you'd of said "I wish you wouldn't." and sat down and talked about why?

Date: 8/10/2004 8:23:00 PM From Authorid: 48941 Well I really think that this is a hard situation for you it seems. I was that way with one of my friends growing up. I can say this though it is uncomfortable and not easy to deal with but you know what you can do and are capable of doing, so stay strong and keep doing and trying your best, it will work out in the end. Believe me I know. But don't let this hurt your friendship and if it gets real bad sit down and talk to her and let her know how you feel and that you don't want these things to ruin your friendship. If she is a true friend she will understand.

Date: 8/10/2004 10:19:00 PM From Authorid: 55988 It seems like best friends always try to have what the other has. My brother and I have also been through this, so have many of my friends. I've come to realize that while you're thinking she's better at everything, she's most likely thinking the same only the other way around. She probably looks up to you. She sees that your good at all of these things and so she tries to follow in your footsteps. All you have to do is continue trying your best at the things you enjoy. Things will eventually improve for you.

Date: 8/12/2004 5:52:00 PM From Authorid: 30786 It is a good thing that you admit you are jealous of her. Admitting your feelings out loud like that is the first step in dealing with them and getting past them. What exactly is it about Holly that gives her her charisma? Is it her confidence you envy? What qualities does she have that you wish you did? Make them yours. Remember that she isn't better than you at everything and there are things that you possess that she wishes she had. Try doing an activity that doesn't include her once in a while.

Date: 8/12/2004 5:54:00 PM From Authorid: 30786 Also, I agree that she probably looks up to you, or else she wouldn't be joining all of your activities!

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