= = = = = " LITTLE JOHNNY " = = = = = WOODEN NICKEL

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Until, that is, Johnny thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have so much hair then ?"

==================

One day at Little Johnny's kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy, Sean, put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy, Hamish, put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."

The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."

Finally, a Jewish boy, Little Johnny, raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."

The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Little Johnny, come up here and I'll give you the $2."

As the teacher was giving Little Johnny his money, she said, "You know Little Johnny, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."

Little Johnny replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business..."

================

The Time of our Life

I used to have Saturday Night Fever...now I just have Saturday Night hot flashes.

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old...as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose...some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker. It makes me think I've reached my sexpiration date.

People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate life! Provided we get cable or that dish thing.

The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our "boobs." The bad news is they have to squat down first.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down...It's too hard to get back up.

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

Show all stories by   Author:  27583 ( Click here )