Date: 8/8/2004 6:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 62739
Tragic. The police needed to be called. The caseworkers, and medical professionals would not have allowed this to happen. If they really did your sis should have filed criminal charges against them. Several lives have just been thrown away because of non-commital individuals who took on a job, and sorrowfully failed in their responsability.  |
Date: 8/8/2004 6:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 58308
Very sad situation indeed. Most of the time, when you foster a child, that means the child came from some terrible background for if not, they wouldn't be in government care - foster care - taken from parents... for whatever reason. 9.5 times out of 10, that foster child will suffer from some, if not all, traits or illnesses the biological parents have. Normally, when you have a child that has been abused in any way by the parents, that child more than likely will act out the same roles when s/he becomes an adult. The only thing your sister will be able to do if Sara comes back to her house is document eveyday somewhere (in a diary - it does hold up in the court of law) and file unruly child. I hate that this has happened to your sister, such a tragedy. *shakes head*  |
Date: 8/8/2004 6:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
Unfortunately this seems to happen alot. My Aunt adopted three children many years ago..Two boys and one girl. The little girl and one of the boys were biological Brother and Sister from an Indian nation not far from where they lived. They came from a very abusive home. Well the little girl was fine for the first little while. She was six when they adopted her. By the time she was 12 she was doing some pretty nasty things, including coming onto her adoptive Father and adoptive Brother (not the bio brother though). My Aunt tried many times to get her taken care of to no avail..Noone seemed to want to help..Especially some little Indian kids...pretty sad..By the time Bonnie was 15 she was making death threats to my Aunt. One night she woke up to Bonnie standing over the bed with a butcher knife in her hand. Apparently she had taken to sleeping with a knife under her pillow. Bonnie was sent to a Juvenile detention center and my Aunt and Uncle wiped their hands of her..They could do nothing with her. I dont know where Bonnie is now though..My Aunt passed away a few years ago. I know the boys are still with my Uncle, although they are both grown now. They are very devoted to my Uncle.  |
Date: 8/8/2004 6:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 27705
Wow this is traqgic aqnd heartbreaking. Have you asked the medical professionals anything she might have said during one of her times with them? If so maybe that could help in this whole mess. It's sad that one girl has the power to mess up your sister, her husband and any foster childrens lives. I am in hopes this shall improve...peace and love Regina  |
Date: 8/8/2004 7:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 23796
Actually, Sexual abuse is the WHY this girl Sara is doing what she does. Most people take for granted that Sexually abused kids, although abused, still understand and respect normal boundries people have that come from normal life styles. Sexual abuse goes WAYYYY beyond that and their thinking patterns are VERY different as well as their moral code. Sexual Boundries are BIG and I Stress ***BIG*** problem issues for sexually abused children. There are flaws in the system in not informing parents but it should have been refered for this girl to get counseling all along. It doesn't surprise me thta the sexual misconduct happened after the boy came into the home. It's not unusual and it acutally happens quite often. Sexually abused girls often see sexual innappropriateness as showing signs of affection, because that is how affection was shown to them by the men in their lives. Your sister needs to research a lot about Sexual abuse and various treatments and make a decision on what treatment she feels is best for sarah BEFORE looking for a Therapist. If you don't know what your looking for in a therapist, its rather like going to a Prediatrist for a Sinus problem. You sister also needs to interview these therapists on how many adolescent youth they treat and how many of those youth are Incest and sexual abuse survivors. Finding a good therapist is like finding a good Babysitter. As for the husband, something isn't right. And no offense to your sister, these kids come from traumatic backgrounds and deserve a safe place where they do not relive the trauma or are not further tramatized. If he isn't fit, they shouldn't be there. If she wants these children, he needs to shape up. She can't have them if he's like that, plain and simple. It is disturbing that he is asking sexual age of concent. He shouldn't even be wondering that question. YOur sister needs to have Estabilished boundries of appropriate and inappropriate behavior for Sarah. Make it in print and signed by the Daughter. It also helps if the daughter is able to help make the contract, so she feels it is more binding. Before I became an at home mother, my career was working with Children in Foster homes & boarding houses. Most of the kids have dual diagnois' such as alcohol and drug. So I am speaking by experience. Sarah is not to blame if she is NOT made aware of the rules that should be there. And Sarah is not to blame for all of this situation. And to be truthful, a child cannot be held to blame for a situation that should be controlled by Adults. But that is just M/O.  |
Date: 8/8/2004 9:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 16671
This whole thing is a big mess! I dont know what to tell you. Yep this could be a movie of the week. I guess you could look on line and see what one could do with the child as far as fileing for imansipation *sp* or some sort of seperation? I just dont know. Your sister is in my prayers and sorry from just the few things you said about the husband, one can only hope that your sister sees it, and finds another husband, perhaps a man with children? I don't know I just have a un easy feeling about your sisters husband.  |
Date: 8/8/2004 10:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 62842
The abuse does have a lot to do with the girl's behavior. I hope things get worked out for the good of all in this situation.~
Sairth |
Date: 8/8/2004 11:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 31255
I think Lady Shaman said it best. This girl needs to be in some kind of weekly therapy by someone who has a lot of experience dealing with these types of children. I think if you try and put your mind in the shoes of the child and not treat her as a disturbed child, but a child that is acting out in ways she only knows how you might find more results. This child is obviously is lacking a lot in her life. I am sure she has issues of feeling unloved and doesn't know how to please her parents expect for trying to act the way she has pleased adults in the past. She probably sees the mother as a threat because she is taking the only role that girl understands. The girl is crying out for attention, approval and love in the only ways she understands. I am sure dealing with this situation is not easy, but I don't think anything is going to get better until someone tries to see this girl from the inside and not by her actions which she thinks is appropriate.  |
Date: 8/8/2004 12:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 62682
This is a very sad story. I am very sorry to hear of all the hearts that are breaking. Your sisters family and the children are in my prayers that it will work out for the better!
Humming Bird  |
30747 Category:(Discussion) Created:(8/8/2004 5:49:00 AM)