Shopping for shoes, blonde style! ~ faded to grey

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Blast it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.

The blonde says that her mother passed away.

The neighbor makes her some coffee and calms her down a little and then leaves.

The next day the neighbor goes back over to the house and finds the blonde crying again. She asks her why she is crying this time.

"I just got off of the phone with my sister and her mother died too!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Norman and his blonde wife live in Maryland One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so snowplow can get through."

Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...........", then the electric power goes out.

Norman's wife says, "Honey, I don't know what to do."

Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living-room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said..FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS