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Make It Stop!!! *PrincessRoxieRage*

  Author:  38601  Category:(General Advice) Created:(7/21/2004 1:08:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (978 times)

My boyfriend dumped me on Sunday because one of our other friends told him I was spreading stuff about him. He didn't even ask me for my side of the story, just called me up (or rather called someone who had me call him), dumped me, and hung up before I could even really say anything. I spent the whole day either in tears, or feeling like someone was sitting on me and crushing my chest. Later that day, my friend Cas and I went to see our friend Bridgette and her brother Scott, who is another friend. Bridgette told me that she had heard through Scott, that Jeff had dumped me to go out with the sister of the friend who said I was spreading stuff. Cas, Bridgette, and her older sister, Megan (who proved to me that night just how good of friends they are and I am so thankful I have them) bought me ice cream and a bunch of food and candy and we sat around until about midnight, eating and goofing off. Then Jeff showed up with Brendan. Bridgette immediately took Jeff to the side to talk to him, and an hour or so later, came back to tell me that he wasn't going out with that other girl and was never planning on it, but that there were still some problems. He asked to talk to her again an hour or so later (if you hadn't already guessed, we pulled an all-nighter and never went to bed) and told her he felt bad about what he'd done and wanted to talk to me. We didn't talk that night but we talked the next night, except he totally changed faces and told me he didn't know if he believed that I'd never said anything about him and that he didn't trust me because I didn't trust him and would never tell him my problems, he always had to hear them from somebody else. So he said he'd think about what I said to him and talk to me the next night (last night). Well, my ex- Kyle (not the one I did a In Recognition of post for) called me yesterday and after I told him about me and Jeff, straight up told me he was still in love with me and is to this very second trying to talk me into going back out with him. He even came over last night, when he knew Jeff was coming tot alk to me, but then again, so did just about everybody else...the list by the end of the night was Cas, Kyle U, Kyle P (ex), Scott, Joe, Chuck, Brendan, Abel, and Jeff. Jeff didn't even show up on his own, Scott and Kyle U had to go kidnap him and Abel and bring them to my house. Abel, by the way, is the friend who said I was saying stuff. so as soon as they got there, Abel took off with Brendan to have a talk because Abel told Brendan's girlfriend some lies about Brendan, and Joe pulled Jeff aside to talk to him. When Brendan and Abel finally get back, Abel tells me straight up that he told Jeff I was spreading stuff as my *punishment* for the *mass betrayal* he feels he was a victim of...short little anecdote here. Abel's girlfriend used to be Brendan's girlfriend. Brendan and Abel are best friends. Abel started dating her ONE day after she dumped Brendan. Abel is still with her, but was interested in and kissed a girl at his work, who didn't like him and told him so repeatedly. She started going out with Brendan. The mass betrayal is that no one told him. But if you ask me, he's the only one who did any betraying. So Jeff now knows that I never said anything, but my ex asked him if we were back together or what and he said we still needed to talk. I don't know what to say to Jeff and I don't know what to do about my ex, because now that he's told me he's still in love with me, he's gotten creepily close and started jumping into my conversations...like when I was telling my friend Cas something I was planning to do when we went shopping and it was something to do with trying something on and he leaned over and whispered that I looked good in everything I wore. I really don't know what to do now.

*PrincessRoxieRage*

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Replies:      
Date: 7/21/2004 1:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 37101    Whoa, whoa, whoa... here's your problem: You're living a soap opera. In a relationship, it's often better to just KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid). You need to stop, sort things out and get to the basis of the problem. Don't let it be clouded up in this web-like mess of a problem. Get what I'm saying? -  
Date: 7/21/2004 1:15:00 PM  From Authorid: 37101    ** And to clarify, I know you're not involved with a relationship with him any more but the same policy applies. Get to the very root of the problem and tackle it, then all these little problems will disappear. Otherwise, a lot of these little problems, coupled with this one big problem, will frustrate you and tear you down. -  
Date: 7/21/2004 3:03:00 PM  From Authorid: 30747    Hon, I tried to read it all but my head was spinning. All I need to know was in the first sentance. If this guy choses to believe other people without getting your side of the story then why would you even want the inconsiderate, closed minded so and so anyway? Dump him to the curb and go find yourself a real man.  
Date: 7/21/2004 3:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 33925    *Holds head until it stops spinning*..Whoa, someone stop the ride and let me off!! Girl I read it all, and to be honest..I was lost from about the second sentence on..LOLOL...Im sorry, but yea...Wow..Im confused, so I can just imagine how YOU must be feeling.  
Date: 7/21/2004 3:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 39949    wow....that was alot of stuff....but it all boils down to the fact that if he broke up w/you because one of his friends told you that you were doing something that you were not...then he is not worth you because he believes his friends over you and does not trust you anyway. and as for your ex, let him know that you just dont feel for him the same way.....god bless  
Date: 7/21/2004 11:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 24003    Im with the others, WOAH! Lots of stuff going on here. Sounds very immature to me. If he really cared about you, he would have talked to you about it.  
Date: 7/22/2004 6:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 30786    This is what happens when you let your friends and pretty much everyone else you know in on your personal life. Stop having people go between you and Jeff. You are having problems, so it should be you two who are working them out and talking. It would help both of you to trust each other if you were confident that the other wasn't broadcasting the relationship to everyone else. You need to keep your private life more private and this wouldn't happen  

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