" THEN VERSES NOW " 1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair
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1974: KEG
2004: EKG
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1974: Acid rock
2004: Acid reflux
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1974: Moving to California because it's cool
2004: Moving to California because it's warm
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1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
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1974: Seeds and stems
2004: Roughage
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1974: Hoping for a BMW
2004: Hoping for a BM
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1974: The Grateful Dead
2004: Dr. Kevorkian
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1974: Going to a new, hip joint
2004: Receiving a new hip joint
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1974: Rolling Stones
2004: Kidney Stones
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1974: Being called into to the principal's office 2004: Calling the principal's office
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1974: Disco 2004: Costco
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1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut 2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
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1974: Passing the drivers' test 2004: Passing the vision test
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Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at BeloitCollege in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:
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The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
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Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
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Bottle caps have always been screwoff and plastic.
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The CD was introduced the year they were born.
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They have always had an answering machine.
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They have always had cable.
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They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
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Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
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Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
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They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
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They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
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They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
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They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel" or "de plane Boss, de plane."
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They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
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McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
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They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter
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A woman's husband died. He had $20,000 to his name. After paying all the funeral expenses, she told her closest friend that there was no money left. The friend asked, "How can that be? You told me he had $20,000 a few days before he died. How could you be broke?" The widow replied, " Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the church, pay the organist and all. That was $500, and I spent another $500 for the wake, the food and drinks, you know. The rest went for the memorial stone." The friend asked, "$12,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big was it?" The widow replied, "Three carats."
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WORRY FREE DAY
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry:
One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.
We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said! Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.
This leaves only one day Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. Live but one day at a time!
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The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-viewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
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Remember The ABC's of LIFE!
A - Avoid negative people, things and habits. B - Believe in yourself! C - Consider things from every angle. D - Don't give up and don't give in. E - Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here yet! F - Family and Friends are treasures, enjoy their riches. G - Give more than you planned to give. H - Hang on to your dreams! I - Ignore those who try to discourage you. J - Just do it! K - Keep on trying, no matter how hard it seems. L - Love yourself first and foremost. L - Make it happen! N - Never lie, cheat, or steal. Always strike a fair deal. O - Open your eyes and see things as they really are. P - Practice makes perfect! Q - Quitters never win and winners never quit. R - Read, study and learn about everything. S - Stop procrastinating! T - Trust in yourself and never give up. U - Understand yourself and understand others. V - Visualize your dreams. W - Want to enjoy life. X - X-ccelerate your efforts! Y - You are unique in all the world, and nothing can replace you. Z - Zero in on your target and go for it!!
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I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy."
Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?"
He replied, "They're all nocturnal."
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