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Date: 7/20/2004 2:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 48812
I think it depends on the situation. If it was just induced by alcohol, and this sort of thing would never happen again, then you might want to. Haven't we all done crazy (and sometimes consequential) things when trashed? But if the same person was sober, and did it willingly--especially if he/she initiated the first moves that led to cheating--then chances are, if you forgive him/her, then they'll think it's okay, and do it again, and again, and again, despite the pain it'd cause other parties. If this were the case, then no, you probably wouldn't want to forgive.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 2:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 29928
This one is so hard to answer. I guess it would depend on the situation. I don't believe in cheating at all. If a person wants to cheat, then they should leave their relationship and not hurt others. The thought of cheating or being cheated on, just makes me sick. If the man I love cheated on me, it would just break my heart. Hugs,  |
Date: 7/20/2004 3:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 53284
I think that it would be difficult to forgive yourself, or your spouse if something like that happened. I also think that at a minimum, there would be damage to the relationship. Even if one is willing to forgive and forget, it would take time to rebuild the trust.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 3:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 45630
This is a weird one because the trust we had is gone. Trust is a easy thing to lose and a hard thing to find once it is lost. I must say that if it was an isolated incident I would be able to forgive, but my trust would take awile to come back.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 3:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 31765
That's something I can't honestly answer, because it hasn't happened. I can imagine that hurt and betrayal would forever change the relationship. Some people make it through such an incident, some don't. Most likely it depends on people involved.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 3:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 19220
I think it all depends on the couple. As for myself, I've had it happen to me. It was horrible. I decided then that I would never continue in a relationship that cheating has happened. I can forgive the person as I did my ex-husband, but I don't forget.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 3:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
Its really hard to forgive something like that, been there done that, but I did forgive and went on with the relationship as I love my husband very much, but forgetting is another thing, but I'm doing better with that also. However I've always had a strong urge, *yes not christian like* to get even, and no two wrongs dont make a right, but it sure made me feel better. But thats all behind us now its been many many years ago.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 3:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 25183
I was cheated on, and I forgave. He then proceeded to cheat on me again. We are no longer together. Therefore, I don't think I would ever be able to forgive someone else.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 3:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 62787
what makes it unforgiveable is you trusted them...no matter if they are drunk or what, i see it not forgivable...- Blade of the Samurai  |
Date: 7/20/2004 4:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 30747
I don't think it's totally forgivable. The couple may stay together, even forever, but the trust is gone and the relationship is changed. They could live a perfectly happy life together but in the back of the mind it will always be there and it will always hurt.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 4:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 61977
I have been there with one individual which is soon to be my ex-husband. We were not married yet at the time. I forgave him, yet I never to this day forgot about it. I honestly think that if it happened to me in another relationship that I would have to end it, and not continue forward. I think sometimes that if I would not have forgiven him and took him back after all the garbage including the cheating I would not even be going through the mess which I am in at the moment. I do honestly think though it depends on the parties involved. I do know that to gain the trust back is not easy and it takes a lot of effort on the party who did the cheating. It takes work from both parties involved. But most of it lies in the cheater and sometimes they are not willing to prove themselves. It can be worked out. It takes time and effort it really just depends on the person/s involved. I am a firm believer that true love can battle any storm and can conquer it. Its all up to them in the end though which path they will take or what path they will not take. Good Post there Liz. HUGS & BLESSINGS,  |
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Date: 7/20/2004 5:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 62682
To be an affair would be unforgivable. Not the affair so much, but the fact that the trust is broken between your partner and yourself. I think that that is what destroyes most marriages in the end...no so much an affair, but trust issues. If you can not depend on your partner and have faith/trust in him/her...then was is left? Trust in eachother is a huge part of the back bone in a marriage I believe. With out it, you are lost. ~~~Humming Bird  |
Date: 7/20/2004 5:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 62503
i can forgive once... but not twice... and only if we were having a rocky time or something along those lines.....  |
Date: 7/20/2004 7:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 22308
well, personally, i don't think there is any excuse for cheating but if i really really loved the person, i think i would forgive but i would have to make the guy prove it to me, that he is really sorry for what he has done and definitely have a talk with him to explain how it feels to be treated like that. my ex did this to me and i haven't even got to say what i want to but when i do, boy will he ever have it!..lol  |
Date: 7/20/2004 7:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
If it happened once, yea I think with a little help I could get past it and forgive him. If it happened again..No..there is no way.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 8:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 62728
It's easy to say what you would do, but it's harder to honestly do those things when you are actually in the situation. I said the same thing many people do that I would never subject myself to staying with someone who cheated on me, and yet, once emotions get involved things change. My ex cheated on me and I stayed because of love. I don't know why I thought the love was returned, but for some reason I did. I really thought we had worked things out, but boy was I wrong. I put up with it for two more years and then walked away when I realized people don't change. The forgiving part is much easier than the forgetting part. -DeltaRebel  |
Date: 7/20/2004 10:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 29534
I could, it would take time, but I could do it. And yes people that have cheated in the past can change, but that's only if they truely want to. Not everyone can but there is that exception. I have seen it done. *hugs*  |
Date: 7/20/2004 10:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 11348
Well... I've been with my boyfriend for almost six years now. He did cheat on me about 2 years ago when we were long distance and I've forgiven him. Everyone who didn't know him very well told me to drop him because if he cheated once, he would do it again. I did drop him for a while, a few weeks. But in the end I realized that because I loved him and because I knew he loved me and he was truly sorry, I had to take him back. My friends and family (people who knew us both) encouraged us to get back together. All my life I told myself that if anyone ever cheated on me, I would have zero tolerance and that would be the end. I don't think anyone really realizes how they will react to the situation until they are in it. I'm not sorry I took him back but I have lost a lot of the trust in him I once had. I know he regrets it and I'm happier with him than without, so we've put it behind us. I think sometimes it's just easier to forgive and forget than to let it break up something with the potential to be the best thing that ever happened to you.  |
Date: 7/20/2004 11:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 62588
The first time someone even approaches cheating (cyber-dating, kissing, giving or taking a phone number) it becomes unforgiveable. A relationship should be a sacred thing, and your spouse should be someone who makes you feel totally comfortable and secure. When you add a desire for other people into the mix, you stop the other from being secure. You hurt them and that can never be repaired.  |
Date: 7/21/2004 1:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 51070
Well, if I were dating and I found out my beau was cheating on me, first of all, he'd learn what it's like to sing soprano. And second of all, I'd dump him and never want to look twice at him. But if it was the girl's fault - CATFIGHT! LOL! j/k on the second part. But let's say there'd be some serious issues. I don't know. I think it's wrong to cheat on someone. If you hate your spouse that much, it isn't that hard to file for divorce! Really!  |
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62753 Category:(Debate) Created:(7/20/2004 2:42:00 PM)