= = YOU'RE BUSTED! YOU CAN RUN (BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE) = =WOODEN NICKEL

YOU'RE BUSTED! YOU CAN RUN (BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE)

It has been brought to our attention by a Net Cop informant, that you have allegedly enacted or participated in one or more of the following events:

1. Checking your e-mail between 2:30 AM and 4:30 AM on your way back to bed from excursions to the bathroom.

2. Nearly passing out when disconnecting your Internet Connection Device from the Internet.

3. Remaining in college for an extended period of time just to obtain free internet access.

4. Using smileys in your snail mail. 5. Typing "com" after every period while using a wordprocessor.com.

6. Failing to contact your mother because she doesn't have an Internet Connection Device.

7. Mindlessly checking your e-mail over and over, after finding out you had received no new messages.

8. Tilting your head sideways to smile. 9. Believing hoaxes you received in your email, ICQ, or IM, and then forwarding them to all your online friends.

10. Completely forgetting about life anywhere other than on the internet.

What do you have to say for yourself?? To save you from yourself, we may have to confiscate your Internet Connection Device...

On second thought, we have decided rather than confiscating your Internet Connection Device, we're willing to offer you a deal... We'll let you be an informant for Net Cops.

All you have to do as our informant , is to forward the URL of this page to any person or persons you are aware of who are allegedly enacting or participating in one or more of the 10 activities described in the list above.

The world, as we know it, is depending on you. So, do a good job, and good luck!!

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"Forever Young"

Youth is not a time of life - it is a state of mind, it is a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over love of ease.

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair - these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.

Whether they are sixteen or seventy, there is in every being's heart the love of wonder, the sweet amazement at the stars and starlike things and thoughts, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing childlike appetite for what is to come next, and the joy and the game of life.

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair. When the wires are all down and all the innermost core of your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then you are grown old indeed.

But so long as your heart receives messages of beauty, cheer, courage, grandeur and power from the earth, from man and from the Infinite, so long you are young.

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Marriage Pie Recipe

5 Tablespoons of Understanding 1 Cup of Tolerance 1/2 Cup of Sweetness 4 Tablespoons of Like 6 Tablespoons of Love 1/2 Cup of Gentleness 4 Tablespoons of Sensitivity Season with Desire, Need, Commitment

Directions:

Start with the basic ingredients of Love and Like, seasoned with Desire, Need and Commitment, then add 1/2 cup of Gentleness and stir until soft, but peaking. Add tablespoons of Sensitivity until very smooth, then continue to add Tolerance until all the lumps are gone. Mix "briskly" until thick. Cook slowly - for too much heat too quickly, may scorch it, damaging your previous efforts. If this occurs, remove the outer shell, re-stir and add the desired ingredients to accomplish smoothness, but peaking. Re-cook per directions, and remember - Only the outer shell was damaged, the basic ingredients remain. The quantity may be slightly reduced, but not the quality. Apply maximum pressure until completely done and firm.

Note: It is perfectly acceptable to add a pinch of argument and, now and then, discontent . . . this adds flavoring and makes appreciation of the dessert.

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One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. ”Driver? Can I drive for a while?” ”Sure,” says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the Pope takes the wheel and starts driving like a maniac all around Washington – dodging in and out of traffic, going eighty, cutting people off. Soon, a cop pulls him over. But when the Pope rolls down the window, the cop stops dead in his tracks, and goes back to the car. ”We got somebody really important here,” he says to his partner. ”Who is it? Is it a senator?” ”No. More important.” ”The president?” ”No. More important.” ”An ambassador? Who?” ”I don’t know. But the Pope is his driver.”

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If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it!

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Returning home from work, a blonde girl was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman!"

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A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet.The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor.

The patient replied in an irritated fashion, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"

The doctor inquired, "And what is the fellow hanging from the ceiling doing?"

"Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a light bulb."

The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, don't you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?"

"What? And work in the dark?"

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The other day I was in the local auto part store. A lady came in and asked for a seven ten cap. We all looked at each other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?"

She said, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost some how and I need a new one."

"What kind of a car is it on," they asked?

Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten but no, she said its a Buick.

"OK lady, how big is it?"

She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.

"What does it do?," we asked.

She said, "I don't know, but its always been there."

One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710. The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as she writes it...and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard in hysterics.

One guy said, "I think you want an oil cap."

She said, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care what you call it, I just need one, and I don't see what is so darned funny about it."

Yes, she was a blonde.

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Note: If you read "710" upside down....it is spells OIL!!

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REMEMBER , STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS SPELLS DESSERTS ........

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