MovieReview: "I, Robot"; "Super Size Me"

title: "I, Robot"

starring: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, James Cromwell, Bruce Greenwood, Chi McBride

genre: science-fiction / action

It looked good on paper, after all: a July tentpole blockbuster, starring Will Smith as a cop who prejudices robots because of a secret from his past. Add Tom Brady's girlfriend as a sexy robot-expert, and have a big-bonanza blow-out with Smith riding motorcycles and fast cars galore, while easily blasting androids with guns a-blazing. But, the fact is, I, tired, of Will and his big-budget superficiality. "I, Robot" does nothing for his career, and this shiny copy based on Issac Asimov's short stories is short of any worthiness.

In Chicago, 2034, Smith is detective Del Spooner, a rebellious robot-chaser whose gut feelings tell him that one of these days, these robots might go awry and turn bad. This feeling, based on a anti-climatic event from Spooner's childhood, provides the hollow gas for this ride. When Dr. Lanning (Cromwell), who works for the sky-scraping robotics company that created the newest NS-5 model robots, mysteriously commits suicide, Spooner is called in to investigate.

Could this be the start of Spooner's guided revelation, where the AI will go beserk and evolve to human-killing war machines? If your summer-movie spidey-sense is tingling, the movie is dreadfully predictable. But "I, Robot" mistakenly takes the audience for bumbling nincompoops and drags out the inevitable armageddon-ish events. And that's why we're here right? For Smith to whip out his weapondry and wipe-out any artifical entity within eyesight? We're not here for the psycho-analysis of good-or-bad robot Sonny, who Lanning might of created to do something big.

Bridget Moynahan might be the best thing about the movie, because her character is a typical summer-movie character: an unbelievable hot scientist, whose expectable shower-scene comes too late for us to pay any attention. Even the robots, who are given meticulously exacting facial expressions, look anti-bad-robotish. The bad ones have a glowing red-spot in their chest, while the good ones have a lush bluish spot. That makes it easier for us to pick out the aggravated androids.

"I, Robot" has some hit one-liners and some awesome action, but it's notoriously on auto-pilot the whole way. Give me "Independence Day," give me "Bad Boys 2," even give me "Wild Wild West" (on second thought, no, please no, I'm just kidding!!), just don't give me a science-fiction let-down whose power isn't even turned on. Grade: C-

MPAA: PG-13

Look for: Shia LaBeouf, wasted dearly as a freeze-frame buddy of Spooner.

Look for: Chi McBride, still in "Boston Public" principal form, as Spooner's skeptical boss.

Cool scenes: Girls, Smith also has a shower scene, an equal to the prurient shower scene of Moynahan's. Not a reason to see the movie.

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Quick Flicks:

title: "The Clearing"

starring: Robert Redford, Helen Mirren, Willem Dafoe

genre: drama

Here's a non-typical summer movie, a quiet drama with Oscar-worthy performances from Redford, Mirren and Dafoe. Redford stars as Wayne Hayes, a high falutin' company man who is kidnapped by Arnald Mack (Dafoe). The movie is as much about the relationship between Hayes and his wife (Mirren) as it is the kidnapping, and their performances dominate the screen. This may be the "Seabiscuit" of last summer, in which the talent isn't forgotten over the fall. A-

title: "Super Size Me" (late review)

starring: Morgan Spurlock

genre: documentary

Much like Michael Moore, Morgan Spurlock is one of those documentarians who questions every answer he recieves. But while Moore attacks the politics and presidency, Spurlock goes after a far more comforting target: fast food. In "Super Size Me," Spurlock first analyzes the billionaire industry, then undergoes a months worth of McDonalds for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Before, he's healthy, in tip-top shape, and he lives with his vegan girlfriend who cautiously opposes the idea. And like Moore, Spurlock ignores any warning from authority (this being doctors), and begins his McQuest, to really see if fast food is the wrost food in the world.

The results: not too surprising, given the factoids about the high-calorie intake and sugar content of McDonalds that run across the screen while Spurlock shovels in Big Mac after Big Mac. Spurlock adds some more weight to his film, by chronicling schools that don't eat healthy, and (hilariously) showing that kids can more readily identify Ronald McDonald than Jesus. I could of done without Spurlock vomiting a meal on-screen, but I suppose he wants us to take it as a sign of hamburger heroism, or something like that. "Super Size Me" is strangely touching though, but I advise no one to go back for seconds. B+

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