Date: 7/9/2004 5:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 62704
Zema I couldn't agree with you more. I like to be honest with people but I don't like hurting anyone's feelings. If I have to tell someone something I know they do not want to hear I try to look for the best possible way to say it so that they don't feel bad. ~Chely~  |
Date: 7/9/2004 5:43:00 AM
From Authorid: 62753
I think total honesty is the best policy! If my friend asked do I look fat in this - I might not say yes, but I might say it doesn't look as good as something else might ---- there are ways to be totally honest without being rude. MY son is really bad about saying, "Mommy she's fat, or mommy she has a booger, or momma she has a big nose." I look at him, and tell him, "while yes this is true, you shouldn't point it out. Keep your comments to yourself, unless asked for them!" Lizard-1  |
Date: 7/9/2004 5:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 28190
Great post, I am in the middle, I try to do the same that you do. Offer an honest answer but still being sensitive to their self esteem.. Most times that works fine. I try to be as honest as possible without hurting people's feelings, but I have before. It makes me feel bad, but not as bad as it would make me feel if I had flat out lied to them. So is honesty the best policy? I say yes, especially if it is used in a sencere way.  *huge hugs*  |
Date: 7/9/2004 5:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 46320
Zema, I am honest almost to a fault, but I will try very hard not to hurt others feelings. I am truthful when the questions are not trivial, "What do you think of Andy?" but if the question is less important, "Do these pants make me look fat?" I tend to lean toward the nice answer. I think some that say they are honest, just hide their meaness in the cloak of honesty. But I have also seen some people that can not have an opinion of their own, because they don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Good article thanks for posting. Be Good...  |
Date: 7/9/2004 5:59:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42945
I tend to think that if a good friend is putting you in the position of asking a question like this, that you should be able to be honest, right up front with them, but for an acquaintance, I'd be a bit more tactful, when you think about it, if they dont want to hear the truth then maybe they shouldn't ask...its a tricky one alright, I hate to think that I've hurt anyone at all, but that's me!!!  |
Date: 7/9/2004 6:10:00 AM
From Authorid: 10245
I can sometimes be brutal (I blame it on my mom! LOL), but I do always try to be mindful of feelings. Sometimes there's no other way to say something than to just blurt it out. Like they say sometimes, "The truth hurts" but hearing it is usually the best way to grow.  |
Date: 7/9/2004 6:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 53054
Zema this is a great post....my policy on honesty! If i know the person really well, like if it is my sister or my best friend I will tell them the truth....if its not a good friend and just a friend i will not lie, but not be too upfrount about it either...if my close friends ask "does this look good, or are thesse a little too tight" i answer with honesty....but with a little There not too tight, but maybe you should try the next size up or a different style? kind of answer!  |
Date: 7/9/2004 6:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 61013
Ok I agree honest is good in some situations but in others I think you should lie. cause like if my friend was gonna go out with a guy that was rude obnoxious and conceided then I think i'd tell her so she knew what she was getting into and I mean I wouldn't wanna make anyone cry by telling the truth.... Great post grammy <hugs> Love, Keri  |
Date: 7/9/2004 7:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
I've had trouble with this question recently. My neighbor, an elderly lady, brought us a slice of cake, I told her how much we enjoyed it, which we really did. It was a german cake (the lady is german) with strawberries and banana's on top. She went home (this was 9 at night) and baked an entire cake and brought it over the next morning. For some reason my 6 year old didn't like that cake..it had a different kind of fruit on it. I told her not to hurt the ladies feelings if she saw her, to tell her she liked it. My daughter said, 'but mom, that's a lie"! I said yes it was a lie, but it wouldn't be nice to hurt the lady's feelings.  |
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Date: 7/9/2004 7:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
by the way, I know I probably handled it all wrong, but my daughter who is terribly honest has actually told people rude things in the past...I've been trying to balance her honesty with some common sense! |
Date: 7/9/2004 7:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 49025
I like to be honest but not hurt somebody's feelings. I try to put myself in their shoes first before I say anything. I think being honest and sensitive is a good policy.  |
Date: 7/9/2004 7:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 29928
Hey Hun! I am a firm believer in, "If you don't have something nice to say, then say nothing at all." BUT if confronted head on, I would agree with you 100%. Great post! Have a super weekend! Much Love,  |
Date: 7/9/2004 8:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 47218
so what happens if you don't give your friend your honest opinion about her pants-- she goes into public looking like a blue whale stuffed into spandex and makes a fool of herself. Does this make you a better friend? I think not. There are ways of honest *and* diplomatic. For instance, to the question "do these pants make me look fat?" you could reply, "hun, I think you've got a great figure (the truth), but those pants simply don't do it justice (also the truth)."  |
Date: 7/9/2004 8:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 62798
thsi si a great post. i think all people need is some tact and disgression.  |
Date: 7/9/2004 9:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 16671
I like to be honest, but NOT brutal about it. Such as the boyfriend. I would tell her what I thought but then I would add that all people can change and to listen to her heart and go with her feelings. If someone said, do I look fat in these pants, and if they did, I'd tell them, they look ok, but why not try those ones? i know I'd want someone to tell me if I looked bad in the clothes I was fixing to wear. I think one has to be sensitive in all matters of truth as to not willfully hurt the feelings of others.  |
Date: 7/9/2004 9:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 62249
Hey, i don't care how bad I hurt your feelings; I'm not going to lie to someone to make them feel better. That's not how the world works. - MC Bacon  |
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Date: 7/9/2004 7:36:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 42945
thanks everyone for your comments here, it would seem that tact should be considered at all times really, and MC Bacon!!! I commend you on your honesty as well, and if you are comfortable in doing that, good for you hun, I just don't like to hurt people's feelings and to Pammie!!! I was raised with the same words you said in your comment hun....but when confronted with the question asked, sometimes it is very hard to be completely honest without feeling bad yourself for thinking that you have hurt them...hugs to you all |
