Letter to Tide

Dear Tide:

>I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all >through my married life. My Mom always told me it was the best. Now that >I am in my fifties, I find it's even better! In fact, about a month ago, >I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and >uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and >generally started becoming a pain in the neck. >One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood >on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain >detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the >supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach >alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came >out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by >yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were! negative and >then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a >suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through >menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! >I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta' >go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.