= = = = = ".THE NEW SCHOOL PRAYER.. = = = = = "WOODEN NICKEL

THE NEW SCHOOL PRAYER

Since the pledge of Allegiance and the Lord's prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore, because the word "God" is mention... A kid in Arizona wrote the attached

New school prayer

Now I sit me down in school where praying is against the rule for this great nation under God finds mention of Him very odd. If scripture now the class recites, it violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green, that's no offence; it's freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayer spoken aloud are a serious vice. For praying in public hall might offend someone with no faith at all. In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freak, and pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks. They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant senior queen, and the 'unwed daddy' our senior king. It is "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong, we're taught that such "judgments" do not belong. We can get our condoms and birth controls, study witchcraft, vampire, and totem poles. But the Ten commandments are not allowed, no word of God must reach this crowd.

It is scary here I must confess, when chaos reign the school's a mess. So, Lord, this silent plea I make should I be shot; my soul please take! Amen.

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"YOU KNOW YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR MBA WHEN..."

You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

You decide to re-org your family into a 'team-based organization.'

You refer to dating as test marketing.

You can spell 'paradigm.'

You actually know what a paradigm is.

You understand your airline's fare structure.

You write executive summaries on your love letters.

You think it is actually efficient to write a ten-page paper with six other people you do not know.

You believe you never have any problems in your life, just 'issues' and 'improvement opportunities.'

You calculate your own personal cost of capital.

You refer to your previous life as 'my sunk costs.'

Your three meals a day are a 'morning consumption function', a 'noontime consumption function', and an 'even consumption function.'

You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.

You refer to divorce as 'divestiture.'

Your favorite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal.

None of your favorite publications have cartoons.

You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.

You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.

At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.

You decided the only way to afford a house is to call your fellow alumni and offer to name a room after them if they help with the down payment.

Your 'deliverable' for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.

You use the term 'value-added' without falling down laughing.

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Q. What is a Redneck's defense in court?

A. Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.

Q. What do they call "Hee Haw" in West Virginia?

A. A documentary

Q. What do they call it in Kentucky?

A. Life Styles of the Rich and Famous

Q. How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?

A. Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

Q. Why did God invent armadillos?

A. So that rednecks can have 'possum on the halfshell'.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

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A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheely bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again.

Eventually a Japanese bloke answers... "Harro", says the chap. "Alright mate, where's your bin?" asks the dustman "I bin on toilet" replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed. Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the bin man smiles and says "No mate, where's ya dust bin?" "I dust bin on toilet I told you" says the Japanese man "Mate" says the dustman... "you're misunderstanding me... Where's your Wheely Bin?" "OK" "OK" , says the Jap, "I wheely bin ON TOILET

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A young Jew and an old Jew are riding on a bus in Jerusalem.

The young Jew asks, "Excuse me, sir, what time is it?"

The old Jew doesn't answer.

"Excuse me, sir," the young Jew asks again, "what time is it?"

The old Jew looks up him, but still doesn't answer.

The young Jew is puzzled, "Sir, forgive me for interrupting you all the time, but I really want to know what time it is. Why won't you answer me?"

The old Jew turns toward the young man and says, "Son, the next stop is the last on this route. I don't know you, so you must be a stranger to this land. If I answer you now, according to Jewish tradition, I must invite you to my home. You're handsome and I have a beautiful daughter. You would fall in love with her and you'd want to get married. And tell me, why would I want a son-in-law who can't even afford a watch?"

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Three men were sitting on a bench in heaven discussing how they died. The first man said "I died of cancer."

The second man said, "I died of Tuberculosis".

The third man said "I died of seenus".

The first two men said, "No, you mean sinus."

The third man said "No, I mean seenus. I was out with my best friend's wife and he seen us!"

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