Date: 6/13/2004 10:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 38751
a simple no sums this up. Sounds like ur a great , caring guy - and she doesnt deserve you. Never sell urself short man , u should have much better *HUG*  |
Date: 6/13/2004 10:33:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 4231
she says he never mattered..bascailly she lieks to talk about her future with me and having kids..and i feel i guess sort of wrong about it...caus ei want to live my life right now..and i guess she went to him cause he wanted that too i guess but she said he did not matter to her  |
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Date: 6/13/2004 10:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 38751
what a female says and does is often a different thing. It is possible to still love your boyfriend to bits , yet have another male you are close with (closer than just friends) on the side as such. Unfortunatly , if this happens it will distort things and the relationship will most likely end. Go live your life i say , im not sure of your age but im sure youve got plently of time ahead to worry about gf's and babies etc. *HUG* |
Date: 6/13/2004 10:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 36901
I agree with halo. If 'he' never mattered then why did she get so bent out of shape? She lied to him and she lied to you. You ever heard the ole' saying screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me? Don't let her play you.  |
Date: 6/13/2004 10:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 21867
Well Josh...I can't give you an answer as to whether or not you should take her back...none of us has a crystal ball to tell you what the future may bring and ultimately its YOU who will have to decide your next course of action in regards to continuing with any relationship with her. What I would say however is that whatever you decide to do, you should seriously take some time out beforehand. Take some time to reassess how things are, how they were, how they may be in the future. Reassess how much you are willing to invest in the relationship and how much you are willing to sacrifice. I'd honestly think it unwise to just take her back and re-enter a relationship straight away, as you will at the very least have some grieving to do about how she treated you and lied to you. Trust is perhaps THE most important thing in any relationship, and it appears by all accounts she has broken that trust well and truly. So entering back into a relationship will merely be creating issues further down the line, for you will be attempting to build it on ground that is still currently soured from these events. There is where some time out will hopefully provide you the space and opportunity to heal, to reexamine, to plan and to work through any issues with her. The time out will also hopefully bring about the very answers you seek. Rushing back into things right now, I fear, would merely cloud things more in the emotions of hurt and betrayal you must surely be feeling. Take your time...your heart is the most precious thing you have to offer...it can be your strongest source of strength AND your most wretched source of pain...be careful with it man. Much strength and best of luck. Peace,  |
Date: 6/13/2004 11:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 28190
Josh, you may not like the advice Im about to give you, but I hope it will help, all the same. Someone who lies and deceives another, is pretty bad, but when that someone lies and deceives two people at the same time, is worse. She may have been looking for more because she may be insecure, but that doesnt excuse that type of behavior at all. I dont know how old she is, so I cant be absolutely correct on my perception here, but if she really loved you, she would never do anything to hurt you, at least not intentionally. Her lying to you and deceiving you, was intentional, and in no way shows respect towards you or ya'lls relationship. If I had to give you a yes you should get back with her OR a no you shouldn't, I would say NO. Why? because she doesnt seem mature enough yet to really realize how great of a guy you were to her. If you were to ever get back with her, I would say make her wait... Give things time to heal, and give her time to learn her lesson... Then Maybe if you feel comfortable, THEN you can talk about reconciling. These kinda things dont need to be rushed at all, you have all the time in the world. The fact that she tried to kill herself over this would be proof enough for me that she wasn't girlfriend material in the mindset that she is in, Friend material, but not mature enough to handle a relationship correctly. I do wish you luck in the decision you make. Remember the old saying, "If you really love something, set it free, and if it one day comes back to you, it was meant to be".... Give things time... But for now, I would say no, let her really stew in what she has done to you. *huge hugs*  |
Date: 6/13/2004 11:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 22308
ok, well, if a girl gets bent out of shape for supposedly not really liking the guy, is definitely a clue that there is something more there. the thing about being in the hospital, that's kinda freaky. she must care about you alot but then, she really shouldn't have done that cause there are some sick people in this world that will do that stuff just to get attention. i'm not saying she did it for just that, but i'm just saying there are people like that out there. all i can basically says is, DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO DO. if you think it's going to happen again, then don't do it. usually and i'm saying usually, your gut is always right. that's the scary truth. if you ever get this deep gut feeling that something is up, then there is probably something wrong. always go on your gut instinct. i know that i wouldn't do this to a guy cause i'm not like that at all, but i wish you the best of luck and if you ever need any help with this, you can always messege me on here. i'll be glad to help you.  |
Date: 6/13/2004 11:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 62383
What is meant to be, is meant to be...thats what I go with. If something is meant to be, something will happen to make it happen. I have seen this actually happen with me too. Just go on, and if its meant to be, it will be thrown at you and you wont question it.
Got Mike?  |
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Date: 6/13/2004 11:18:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 4231
It was lieing but at the same tim ei tell myself it was not cheating persay |
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Date: 6/13/2004 11:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 28190
She may not have been physically cheating on you, but emotionally she was. She was sharing her heart with someone else, without his or your knowledge of that. The Heart can really make any situation better when there is love involved. Right now, listening to you mind, would be best for both of you and your relationship if there is one after this. Time is the factor.. Agent smith covered that point better than I did. *hugs* |
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Date: 6/13/2004 11:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 28190
Your* mind not you mind.. Sorry its late here. |
Date: 6/13/2004 11:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 26452
This is just my opinion, but I have delt with a boyfriend like her, took him back many, many times, its not worth it, love is about TRUTH and TRUST, and she lied to you and broke trust. Normally if someone lies to you, they will do it again.  |
Date: 6/13/2004 11:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 49091
Josh, hun, do what your heart tells you. If you love this girl to death, go for her, but if shes gonna have some extra friends on the side, I'd have to say watch wat happens. My bf loved his x-bf to death but she cheated a lot and had other "friends" and he didnt want to give that up caused he loved her, but he knew if he gave that up, him and I would finally be together and thats what he did. He wanted to be happy and be with the one his heart told him to go for, and it wasn't his x-gf...he followed his heart. Id say you should do the same. If you think that there could be another girl out there that's better for you and that you feel you can "live yor life" with, go after that girl!! And if this girl your talking about is that one, hold onto her. If shes someone u dont think u can live without, give her another chance. Now if she slips up again, I can see a break up being necessary or whatever, but first times can always be the time when you learn NOT to do that again. Good luck hun!! *huggs*  |
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Date: 6/13/2004 11:39:00 PM ( Admin )
I suspect she is young and she needs many forms of attention. I think you and her should have a talk about what is real and what isn't. She may be too young for you (emotionally), on other hand love is worth the risk. Talk, sort it out, then decide. |
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Date: 6/13/2004 11:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 49091
BUT!! There is awlsy the other side of the story...I took this one guy back 15 times!!!! 15!!! And each and every time he lied to me and broke my trust, and I THOUGHT I loved him. I thought we were going to be together forever...so it REALLY depends on the person. If you think she'll do it again, give her another chance, but if she slips, its not meant to be. If she REALLY loves you, she woulda never done this. She woulda been faithful and tru to you always. Cause those are 2 of the pillars that hold love together. good luck!! *huggs* |
Date: 6/14/2004 1:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 13974
DON'T DO IT MAN!!!! Really. I say stay strong, and don't go back. Cheating is cheating. Don't lie to yourself to facilitate her lie. My brother is in a situation like this, and he keeps taking her back. I have tried time and again to get him to stop, but he wont listen. It really is not worth it, trust me, it isn't. Sounds like the girl has some emotional issues that she needs to work out, but don't let yourself fall into the "I can help her" trap. It doesn't work like that. I have seen so many people get dragged down by this it is not even funny! She needs time. Give that to her if she likes it or not. After a good decent amount of time has passed (I am not talking a week or two) and you still feel the same, and she has started getting her act together, and she still feels for you... then maybe take it slow and see what happens.  |
Date: 6/14/2004 3:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 58308
Read what Agent Smith wrote and then read it again. He and Halo have said it all. Peace  |
Date: 6/14/2004 3:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 30747
No hon I don't think she deserves another chance. This girl is not ready for a committed relationship. First of all there is the fact that she cheated on you and yes, it is cheating. Then there is the fact that she has some kind of mental problem to try to kill herself and you don't need that kind of stress in your life. Sorry to say this but she's not worth it. If you ever got back together you would be living with mistrust and fear all the time. Let it go and move on.  |
Date: 6/14/2004 7:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 53900
I agree with Agent Smith wholeheartedly...you caant rebuild what you had especially when teh foundation for teh relationship is gone. Take some time for you and then see how things are.  |
