= = = = = HAVE YOU EVER ? = = = = = WOODEN NICKEL

Have you ever found yourself looking at others your own age and thinking...surely I don't look that old?

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. Yes," he replied.

"When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1965. Why? "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"

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This morning I searched my wallet, It was empty, then I checked my pockets, I found a few coins. I then searched my heart and found you, then I realized how rich I really am...

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My mother is a cleaning fanatic. One Saturday she told me and my brother to get down to the playroom and straiten it up. We had had a party there the previous evening, and she was none too happy about the mess.

As she watched us work, it was clear that Mom was completely dissatisfied with our cleaning efforts and let us know it.

Finally my brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked Mom, "Can I use this, or were you planning to go somewhere?"

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A friend asked me to replace the rotted post that her mailbox sat on, but to save the beloved old box. I managed to extract all but one of the rusty nails in the bottom of the mailbox. To free the last nail, I wrapped my arms around the box in a bear hug and started yanking up.

Just then a truck came by, and the driver stuck his head out the window. "I tried that," he said, "but the bills just keep on coming."

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"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

"He's a magician, Ma'am" said Little Johnny.

"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"

"He saws people in half."

"Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"

"One half brother and two half sisters."

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"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

Bob thought for a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

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