MovieReview:"Day After..."; "Harry Potter..."What's your favorite disaster flick

Title: "Troy"

Starring: Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Eric Bana, Peter O' Toole, Diane Kruger, Brian Cox

Genre: Historical Action

Apparently, Greek epics will never die on the silver screen, so for the golden hues of summer, we're given a lavish, golden adaption of Homer's Iliad, which Wolfgang Peterson skillfully directs like a man enraptured with swords, sandals, and steamy mythology. And why shouldn't he? "Troy" is at its root only that ballooned-budget blockbuster, but its performances and tone set it up as if Peterson wants to convey something that the other blockbusters don't: an intellectualized tale that has depth and volume, not to mention a pretty darn good cast.

"Troy" centers on the well-known tale of how the Trojan Paris (Bloom) - brother to Hector (Bana) and son to Priam (O' Toole) - and his relationship with the Grecian Helen (Kruger) eventually led to the downfall of Troy. But the plot in Peterson's version takes secondhand to the battles and the bravura pacing; Achilles' neurotic behavior and don't-give-a-crap attitude is overlined by Pitt's glazed pecs. In fact, everything in this movie is underlined by something, which in seperate opinions can either hurt it or help it.

For Helen, we're given the German actress Diane Kruger, who has to convey both a sexy and dangerous aura. For the most part, she manages, and this duality is evident in her eyes from the very first time we see her. For Paris and Hector, we're given Orlando Bloom and Eric Bana, both whom do the best they can with scrappy dialogue and unflattering costumes. Bloom, who will forever be known as Legolas, has the innocence and the charisma, but Bana (like in "The Hulk") fails because he's as stone as the city he's trying to defend.

It's Peter O'Toole who is the master of the film, and he outwits and outlasts his fellow actors by being as wise as true to form as he can. Having acted in another "classic" historical action-drama ("Caligula" - classic isn't the word; pornographic?), O'Toole is settled down in the role, and his portrayal of Priam is subtle, strong, and crafty.

But back to the basics. "Troy" is glitz and glam lathered in Greatness. Peterson films every battle like it's the end of the world, and because he does this we're drawn to the battle, and to the character, and to the tale. We're in turn submerged in filmmaking that's wobbly in the center, but ferocious at its walls, much like the ancient city itself. A-

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title: "The Day After Tomorrow"

starring: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Sela Ward, Emmy Rossum, Ian Holm

genre: disaster drama

In the money shot (that's where all disaster films awe us with CGI effects) in "The Day After Tomorrow," a mind-numbingly enjoyable popcorn bonanza, a wall of water sweeps down upon New York City; the water crushes and throws people about, and the brutality of it not only drowns its cast, but drowns the audience in a cartoonish mediocrity.

In other words, "The Day After Tomorrow" tries to be something it isn't: a publicity speech about global warming that lacks any viable plot about global warming. It could of been just a well-marketed weather-gone-bad movie, but the scientific, Democratic, melodramtic message had to be thrown in so we could get some sort of underlining message about the environment.

This message ruins it, too, because I was perfectly suited to a rockin' summer tale about how a climatologist father (Quaid) tried to tell everyone that the world was going to end, but it was too late (gasp!). Meanwhile, his son (Gyllenhaal) was in New York City, trying to a) win an academia contest, and b) win the heart of his teammate and secret crush (Rossum). Before they can communicate, L.A. is bombarded with tornadoes, hail in Tokyo, and New York, as previously mentioned, is swept away (Madonna doesn't appear - sorry) by a typhoon while Gyllenhaal and his friends try to stay alive at the public library.

For the rest of the film, the father decides to ignore his own armageddon-ish message, annd traverses Eskimo-style to NYC to reunite with his son. This is a fully entertaining ride, and for two hours, we're immersed in an enjoyable escape movie. I thought Quaid was unbelievable as a climatologist, until I saw 23-year-old Jake Gyllenhaal playing a pubescent teen caught in the throes of watery love.

The excitement of the movie lies in its impossibilities. This is from Roland Emmerich, who also directed the rollicking "Independence Day," and the not-so-rollicking "Godzilla." Here he adopts the same formula - throw some characters into a perilous suituation, and watch them adapt and bond, courtesy of a million-dollar budget. But "The Day After Tomorrow" is weighed down by its exaggerated message and ecstatic tone. It seems to ruin its central message with ultra-stupidity and dumbed-down drama. It's partially fun, and perhaps gleefully grim, but frankfully, this day will never come. C-

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title: "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"

starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall

genre: fantasy-drama

By now, the adventures of Harry Potter and his battles with wizardry, wands, and he-who-shall-not-be-named have been recycled through the minds of the young and old. The popularity of Potter is purely because of J.K. Rowling's creative wit, and her speciality: blending magic with might and the avenged with the adolescent.

The latter, which plagues Potter (Radcliffe) in the third movie like any hormonal monster would, brings new light to an already magically-adapted series. Sure, some were upset because (the first two films'> director Chris Columbus had followed the books too strictly and too bluntly for any sort of enjoyment, but I appreciated them because they were full of snap-to silliness and underlining morbidity. Actually, not underlining as much, but Columbus didn't concentrate specifically on Potter's past so much as his fantastic future.

In comes Alfonso Cuaron, the director of the critically acclaimed "Y tu mama tabien," a raunchy account of adolescent romps and raging pubescence. Seems like the perfect choice for the Potter world, right??

Cuaron's touch on the series is immediately seen, and felt, from the get-go, as Harry argues with his uncle and aunt about the dignity of his parents. Gone are the bright clothes, the fixed frames, ....the future; in now are wobbly scenes, dreary set pieces, and Harry, Ron and Hermione now primarily wear Muggle clothes; these are all indicative of transition into the teen ages: the depression, the anger, the frankness. And it's off-putting from the cheery Columbus look - at first. And then it's refreshing.

J.K. Rowling's third book, and the third movie, are about the fact that a murderer has escaped from Azkaban prison, Sirius Black. Hogwarts is locked down, and for the time being, Dementors (soul-sucking black-hooded creatures) - guards of the prison - are out and about looking for Black, but they take an interest in Potter as well. And then we're drawn in bleakly to a tale that's as much about monsters and mayhem as it is Harry and his humanity; Radcliffe has grown as Harry, and his eyes tell a different story than in "...Sorceror's Stone."

The one consequence of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" is its darker tone and hues. Who's to say that Mike Newell ("Four Weddings and a Funeral"), director of the next installment, won't come and disturb what Cuaron has graced the movie with? It could become uneven, jaunted, even sufficently disrupted as a film franchise.

But that's later. This is Cuaron's world for now, onscreen at least, and the descent of Harry and his two best friends into adolescence and, ultimately, a battle for the ages, is visual and vast. Watson, Grint, and Radcliffe are nevertheless stuck in the grovelling world of Hollywood history, much like their respective characters are stuck, awkwardly, in fractured fantasy. A-

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What's your favorite disaster flick everybody?? Mine personally is "The Poseidon Adventure," because it's hair-raising, adventurous, and fun to watch. Gene Hackman is the MAN in that movie, no doubt about it!

A. The Poseidon Adventure

B. Titanic

C. Earthquake

D. The Towering Inferno

E. Titanic

F. Independence Day

G. Twister

H. Other....please forgive me if I forgot a big one. I feel like I did.

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Coming up:

"The Stepford Wives"

"Garfield: the Movie"

"Young Adam"

"Spiderman 2"

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