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Notice: This Advice is free advice and only for (Fun). It is provided by person or persons not affiliated with the Unsolved Mysteries website and neither Unsolved Mysteries or the persons giving the advice will assume any responsibility for consequences for the actions you take as a result.
Date: 5/3/2004 10:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 2030
You'll figure out sooner or later that people need to stick up for themselves or they get pushed around all their life. You can't be the champion for those who won't stand up for themselves all your life. If it bothers you do something about it, that's your version of sticking up for you.  |
Date: 5/3/2004 10:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 53054
BCAR is right you have to stick up for yourself...and no one else...if you want to stick up for them why dont you talk to the victums and say that thye need to do something and tell them not to let them do those kind of things, but i wouldnt face up to the bullies...what is the point?  |
Date: 5/3/2004 10:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 62408
For one thing (I speak from experience as the person who was the instrument of torture, the preverbial target, as it were...not just in elementary, but through high-school, and even in college). These boys do this not because they are bored, but because they think it makes them look 'cool', when all it does is make them look like complete fools to everyone else but themselves. Of course, they pick on the 'underlings' as it were, because while they are acting foolishly, they are not stupid enough to pick on someone with enough self-esteem or courage to stand up to them. Either way, should this behavior continue, they are in for one rude awakening when they reach high school, and that is their problem, not yours. I can easily see how it gives you a short fuse to see them torment others. I'm not sure what advice to give you on that. Because it could easily backfire on you. I really would not let many people help me, not that very many ever came to my 'rescue'. Even my so-called best friends didn't come to my aid. The reason I didn't allow this was because I feared they would become targets themselves, and I was too (I felt selfish) to bring that upon them. But there was one incident in a hallway in highschool where my tormentors (who were sexually harrassing me, mostly with crude words and taunts; took it to a physical level while I was ignoring them. My friends were right there, as I was talking to them. One of the tormentors took his foot, placed it on my tush, and gave me a rough shove, when I turned around, and screamed at the top of my voice 'LEAVE ME ALONE' <remembering somewhere in my mind, that the most important thing to do is draw attention to yourself, hands reached out toward my bosom, but I had it covered by clutching my books to it> Dashing away before I could let anyone see my tears, I briefly explained the situation to the hall monitor, and asked to go speak with the principal, VP, nurse, or anyone. I explained the situation to the principal, and he wanted my friends names. They DENIED seeing anything, except him giving me a little shove, making it look like he was flirting with me. All he was given was a day of in-school suspension. He was conveniently absent the day of that punishment, and never had to attend. By the end of that school day, rumors had spread that I was a tattletale, narc, you name it. People avoided me like the plague. These people act like this because they think they can get away with it. Don't try to intervene yourself, but if you witness it, go to the person they've bothered (especially if its severe teasing) and encourage them to report it, because it is uncalled for. Tell them if they are hesitant you will go along as a witness. Safety in numbers, etc. And remind yourself that they're the ones who need the wake-up call, not yourself. If nothing else, pray for them. They're going to need it. It's immaturity right now...maybe a little pent-up excitement with graduation approaching, but by no means an excuse. And as I said, if they don't grow up over the next 3-4 months, they're in for one rude awakening when they reach high school. If you want to talk about this further, feel free to message me.   |
Date: 5/3/2004 11:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 61920
You know, I think that all of you, BCAR, LiL_Leppy, and Christine are absolutely right. I forgot that the kids at school are at an age when they are maturing, and they DO need to stick up for themselves. Thank you all for clearing it up. I realize that the only thing I can do is to give the victims advice. I won't be there to stick up for them their entire life... but I can at least tell them to... thanks for the advice. I think I see things a lot clearly now. Thanks! *Hugs*  |
Date: 5/3/2004 11:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 62624
Everyone has got some very good points!!! Let me share my "opinion". I was the bully in grade school. Looking back now and knowing what I know, I wish that someone would have told me to back off and make me realize what a jerk I was being. See, I had a horrible home life and because I was miserable at home, I would take my anger and frustrations out on whoever I felt like deserved it. You are right, I wouldn't pick on the popular bunch, but my victims were the helpless ones. The people that wouldn't stick up for themselves, the loners. Once I got to high school, all of that changed. I no longer bullied, but instead, I stuck up for the ones that couldn't help themselves. Sometimes these people just don't have the courage or self esteem to tell someone to back off. I'm not saying that you should try to be a hero, or the person's best friend, but just a little encouragement goes a long way. They can't find their voice right now to tell these bullies to back off, but if someone even just once sticks up for them, it could mean a whole new world for them. Think about it. It wouldn't hurt to help someone out sometime.  |
Date: 5/3/2004 11:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 26452
In my opinion, I think you should stick up a bit for them, because they are scared, but also encourage them to stick up for themselves. I was bullied in middle school, I didn't have anyone to stick up for me, I was afraid if I did anything, I'd get hurt, I wish someone would have at least been there for me, just because it would have given me the confidencec to do it myself. I am now that I've been in Highscool for 2 years, I've started actually sticking up for myself, mainly because my boyfriend(who is a rather big guy, and never had bully problems) gives me the confidence I needed to stick up for myself. Him also teaching me how to box as helped, lol but just having someone there encouraging you makes a big difference.  |
Date: 5/8/2004 8:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
No you should not start fighting. You will only get yourself in trouble and make a bad situation worse. You could get together a group of friends and stick up for the people who are being picked on, like when you see it happening let them know you aren't impressed and to knock it off. Tell a teacher in private if it doesn't get better, and above, be nice to the kids who have it bad. They'll appreciate it  |
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