Whispers~Part 2~-Gothic Angel

As Raven crawled out of bed, sore, she quickly changed. Looking in the mirror, she was disgusted with herself. Again, she plastered the last smile on, that she would ever need to. Walking down the stairs, she made sure everything went as usual. She ate her breakfast without a word, and got her things together for school. She hugged and kissed her parents goodbye, and walked out the door. 'Goodbye life, world, home....Goodbye family, for when you see me, you will be behind plexi-glass, talking to me in a phone at jail....Hopefully'. Walking down the street in the cool crisp air made her feel cruel. She felt like she didn't deserve the freedom. She felt like she had to be imprisoned back to the state of mind her father made her think.

Opening the cold school doors, the inside of the school looked swarmed with people. Everything looked plastic. Everything looked like a big puppet show, put on by the grand puppeteer. Raven walked right past her locker, and continued to walk. She paused at the crossroad between the councilor's office, and the washroom. Raven felt sick, but she walked over, and knocked. She felt pure regret right after that. The door opened, and Mr. Gionav smiled. "Hello! Come in, come in." Raven walked in and sat down. "Are you new here?"

"Mr. Gionav, it's me, Raven." "Ah, okay! I'm so sorry Raven, it's just you never have come to see me. I do remember you though. Yes, you came to talk about something one day, but ran out."

"Uh yes. I'm here to talk about that again, and I'm not going to run this time."

"Fantastic! Okay, what's on your mind, Raven?"

"Well, Mr. Gianov, I've held this deep secret inside me for a long time. Since I was two, and I want to come out and say it."

"Go on."

"Well, my father....Beginning when I was two....He's done stuff to me."

"Abusing you?"

"Not with hitting....I guess you could call it sexual abuse. He's done stuff to me when I was little, then it became a little more as I got older and older. He's made me do things."

"Raven, why didn't you tell someone sooner?"

"I....I didn't want to break my family apart."

"Does your mother know about this?"

"She....Yes....She does, but she never tries to stop it."

"Okay. Raven, I know I'm not allowed to tell anyone without your permission, so do I have your permission to call the police." Raven nodded, and the tears exploded. 14 years of hiding tears, and here they all came. Mr. Gianov went over to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but she jumped away. "I'm sorry...." Raven cried more, and couldn't control herself. She began shaking. She finally did it, she finally let it all go. She finally freed herself, though she didn't feel free. She felt even more captive. Like she had been taken in from the wild, but put back out. She felt like for one second she had been fine, and now, she felt like she was in a worse condition more than ever. Raven put her head in her hands, and started mumuring things that didn't make sense. As the police got in, then took her to the police department to talk to her. Raven felt like she had made treason, and now, she was going to pay. As she was going to sit down, she saw her father sitting there, staring at her. His eyes were an angry red, he stared at her, flaring.

"Why would you make up such a lie?" He screamed, "I did no such thing! You're mother will agree with me!"

"Of course she will, father! She loves you more than me! But did you think for one second I was going to put up with this for the rest of my life? Did you think I wanted that father? Did you? I'm forever scarred of having a real relationship with any man, and scarred from liking humanity. Every person I see, I see you in. You're always there, making sure I don't say a thing. Well guess what father, I did! I'm sick of it! I don't love you dad, I hate you!" Everyone was staring at her. She stood awkwardly. She started to shake. She couldn't take it anymore. Raven sat down, and couldn't control the shaking. She felt so out of control, so mixed up.

Her father stood over her, and inside she was crying for him to hug her. To say "I love you" in the fatherly way. Raven cried out for him to hug her, just to be the father he should have been, to take it all back, but no one heard these invisible cries. They echoed inside her, but never did the reach her mouth to be projected. Raven couldn't control herself. She stared at her father in pure hatred, daring to speak what she was told to never say. "Father, after these 14 years of sin you've held me in, you have treated me fantastically, not including the molesting. And father, guess what? You can just...go...to....Hell! You belong there!" The police took Raven into the questioning room, and hooked her up to a lie detector. As Raven answered the questions, tears streamed down her face. She stared at the walls, and realized she really was imprisoned. Just another lost soul, in one small room.

Walking out and sitting there while her father took the test, and her mother, she fidgeted. She picked at her nails, and anything on her that was imperfect. She played with her hair and bit her lip excessively until her lip had started to bleed. As her father and mother came out, they sat down. They all waited another 3 excruciating hours, until they finally got the results. Two policemen came in. "Mr. Eppist, Mrs. Eppist, you are put under arrest. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." Raven stared at them. Her sweet foolish mother, her father....Going to jail. She never thought it would have come to this. 'Look what I've done....My own family....Fallen, broken, crumbled. I didn't want this to happen....'

"Raven Eppist? If you want, you can stay here tonight, or go home." "I'll go home....Thank you officers." Raven trailed out of the door, she felt she let her heart shut the door. She walked along the sidewalk on the warm spring night. She could hear the crickets starting to come out. She saw the night get darker. She ran the rest of the way to her house, scared. She climbed the stairs up to her room, and fell into her bed. She twisted into her fateful nightmare, and again, she ran.

-Heather AKA Gothic Angel

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