Date: 4/25/2004 6:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 37101
To be blunt... Suck it up. While it may seem like it, it's NOT the end of the world and it WILL get better with time. Patience is a virture. Nobody's saying it's easy, I'm not going to tell you that you're not going to feel like crap for a while, but... when it comes right down to it, the advice that you do not want to hear is the advice you need to take. Just live your life as best you can. As time goes on, it'll get easier when your mind and heart get used to the thought. Until then, it's going to suck. But it will get better. -  |
Date: 4/25/2004 6:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 12103
It helps to hang out with people....to keep yourself busy..i know when i am with someone i usually spend alot of time with them, and when we break up its like "now what do i do?" but yeah, its better to go out and have fun...rather then just dwell on it..  |
Date: 4/25/2004 6:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 48689
I agree. I know that you hate it, but time will ease your pain. It takes a while, but it happens. Just concentrate on other things, try to have fun. I'm finally over a guy that I dated for 7 months, not as long as you, but it's a long time to devote your time and heart to one person.  Hope things go your way!  |
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Date: 4/25/2004 7:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 48689
If this doesn't seem cheesy or mean, I usually find a member of the opposite sex to hang out with. Just a friend, not as a rebound or anything. They always seem to help SO much, and even sometimes turn into a potential love. |
Date: 4/25/2004 7:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 62588
You can keep a journal and write down all of your feeling.. or make posts to us here at USM and let us know how you feel. Get your feelings out so that they dont trap your heart. Is it possible to remain friends? It might help if it doesnt hurt. Whatever you do, don't listen to country music or love songs.. leave the radio off or get a really good CD (Time for me to fly by REO Speedwagon is my healing music) something about moving on or something funny. Pick a special person in your life - the younger the better and spend time with that person, worrying about what makes them happy. Go out and do something nice for someone just for the sake of remembering how happy you can be even when your ex isnt there. Do something a little outrageous. Dress up so that you look and feel as good as possible. I hope this works.. if you need to talk you can message me  |
Date: 4/25/2004 7:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 62338
I know the feeling and the only advise that i can give you is time.You will never truly forget her and you will always keep a speical place in your heart for her,but they say time heals all wounds so just try to go on and do the best you can do...Rawhide  |
Date: 4/25/2004 7:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
In my case I threw myself into my hobbies. Fishing, Coonhunting, and Gardening. Whatever made me happy and relaxed. Yes I still think about her, The what ifs and what nots of it all. While I wake up in the morning and she is the first thought on my mind and the last on my mind at bedtime and she is still running through it all day long I can only use my memories. But only time itself can heal the wound. It may take a year or just weeks. Try to hand out with members of the opposite sex. But be careful of the ones you may feel attracted to. The moment you hear her say "He's like a brother" stop messing with her or you will be hurt. Anyways carry on with life and do whatever your heart tells you.  |
Date: 4/25/2004 8:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
you're only 18? oh goody, that means you'll probably have to go through this breakup routine several times before you find the right person, so get used to it. Now that I've dropped that cheerful bomb on you, I have good news. You will get over this. But there's only way way-- through time. You just gotta take it day by day, and the pain will grow less with time, and eventually you'll be ready to move on. And the great news is that somewhere in your future is a new, exciting person who will lead you through new experiences and teach you new things about yourself. So you have that to look forward to.  |
Date: 4/25/2004 8:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
remove all reminders of her from your sight(dont toss them out just box them up and slip them in the closet for now) do things to occupy your time... seek new things in your life.. maybe a change in your life....less time to think about the former relationship  |
Date: 4/26/2004 3:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 46530
I agree somewhat with all of the other answerers, but not entirely. Yes carry on with your life, you cannot really do anything else I guess. Yes get some other interests as these will take your mind off her for a while, but in the end what is in your head and your blood won't go away, and if she was your first love then she never will! The others are right though when they say that there will be others, and those may be more significant in your life than the love just lost.
The last thing I will say is, you said that you broke the relationship off because of unsolvable problems, this meant that she was not right for you, and in the end it is probably for the best that the relationship did end.  |
Date: 4/26/2004 8:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 62181
I know how you feel. Heck, I ended a relationship of only 6 weeks about a year ago, and I still can't get over him completely! What helps me is that I try to keep my mind busy all the time. I don't watch any love chick flicks or read romance novels (these depress me toooooo bad!) but I read books that interest me, keep busy with friends, see if your friends need help moving or cleaning their house or yard, (I find cleaning other people's houses and yard work much more pleasant than my own! lol) I don't know, the point of this is to keep busy and eventually the pain will diminish. It may not go away (such as my case) but it will diminish to a point where you aren't obsessing over it. I wish you luck. ((((hugs))))
peace  |
Date: 4/26/2004 8:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 13119
I have to stick up for you, I don't think age has anything to do with the pain you are in and I think silly comments like "suck it up" show a marked lack of compassion. Some people will never have the intense emotions that come with such a love, I feel pity for them, you are one of the lucky ones, you feel deeply and experience life as it is meant to be. I don't know how to help you with your pain it is something that you will have to muddle through, just remember you are one of the lucky ones  |
Date: 4/26/2004 10:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 52489
Breaking up is always hard. When I broke off a 16-month relationship I decided to fill my time with activities and work. I did a lot of overtime, and also started weight training. As long as I was busy, I didn't have time to mope. Try it. It'll work!  |
Date: 5/8/2004 7:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
Out of sight, out of mind. What has helped me is to write down all of my feelings, even write her letters if you want to, but don't give them to her. Also, write a list of all the reasons why you broke up with her, and the advantages to doing so. Whenever you have a moment of weakness, look at that list. If the moment strikes when you say to yourself, "Okay, I HAVE to call her" don't. Call a friend and vent instead, or come on USM and complain to us! Also, avoid her while drinking, it can make you do funny things. If you know that the breakup was the best thing to do, don't feel guilty about it. You WILL get over it, and time will heal your heart There is someone out there for everyone!  |
10744 Category:(General Advice) Created:(4/25/2004 6:42:00 PM)