Just needed someone to listen for a minute......................StarFire

Right now I just need to vent and I don't have anyone to talk to here. I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like my life is falling apart. I meet guys who seem really nice, and seem to care about me, and they turn out to be the same old jerk all over again. JD is too irresponsible to acknowledge his son, which leaves me to do it all by myself. I'm losing my apartment, because I can't come up with rent money in time. I spend all my rent money on daycare so I can work. But, hey, I'm probably going to lose my job. Guess then I won't need to pay day care anymore. My mom is all cracked out again, and I just can't do this anymore. I need people to talk to, and there is noone here. I'm alone, and scared. I'm so ready to just go away. At least if I left, maybe everyone else would be happy again. And Sam wouldnt have to worry about his psycho mom and what she might do tomorrow or the next day. I almost dropped him off at the hospital the other night. You know, they do that thing called Safe Haven. You can bring in any child up to 1 year of age, and leave them. No questions asked, and no penalties for abandoning your child. But I don't know if I can lose another one of my babies. It'd probably push me over the edge. I'm so close as it is. My heart is pounding right now, and I feel so close to tears. I can't cry, because I'm supposed to be the strong one. How can I be the strong one when I feel so darn weak????? How am I supposed to pretend like everything is OK each mornign, when I know things are so messed up? I don't expect any answers. I just needed to vent.



***************************************************************************** Just realized someone might think I want to die. I don't want to die, I just want the pain to go away. Sorry if i'm scaring anyone

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