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Date: 3/27/2004 1:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 56297
hmmm Im kind of going through a phase were i have to chose haha because im not sure, i kind of think we should to avoid aids and hiv but i also think if people want to have sex before marraige they shouldnt have to wait till marraige because wut if you never get married or what if your husband dies on your wedding night or something so you guys wont get to have sex haha i no thats unlikely but it could still happen :P great post *hugs*  |
Date: 3/27/2004 1:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 19625
I didn't wait until marriage, and I have no regrets. I think as long as people are safe about it, and are 100% sure it's what you want to do, then why should you have to wait until marriage? That's just my opinion though. Erin-  |
Date: 3/27/2004 1:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 5229
I don't necissarily believe it should wait til marriage, I believe it should wait til love. Not a crush, not a fling, but love. If you love the person I believe you will have no regrets.  |
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Date: 3/27/2004 1:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 5229
Having sex is a very big step on the maturity level. You have to be emotionally as well as physically ready. If you are absolutely sure that you are able to handle that big of a step. Hey, can I have some soup? lol. Good debate, very interesting. |
Date: 3/27/2004 1:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 57726
*Nods* Yeah. I think it should wait. Don't ask why, cause I don't know lol. It's just the way I was raised, and I ain't questioning it. It just sounds right.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 1:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 62585
I agree with avalanche girl, i didn't wait till marriage. I do have 1 or 2 regrets, but not enough to wish i hadn't done it. But i wasn't careful enough and had a child out of wedlock....but she's the best thing that ever happened to me....so it was kind of a good thing. ~Charmed One~  |
Date: 3/27/2004 1:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 38751
Im 16 (definatly not old enough to get married! lol) and im not a virgin and to be honest , it isnt a big deal to me. I think that the first time with anyone new is special and should be treated like that , not just your first time. It's not about how many time's you've had sex it's about who its with and how much you care for that person , which i assume is a lot if ur gonna marry them. Some people believe the complete opposite to me and hey , thats cool! but im just saying my opinion as a 16yo girl with media pressure all the time on me to stay a virgin , give us a break! its a really personal choice!! power to the gals  lol , sorry , had to add that !!  |
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Date: 3/27/2004 2:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 5229
and what do you think KJ? |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 46530
There are two sides to this arguement. On the one hand are the people taht want to wait until they are married so that they are physically pure for their partner, can say that they dont have certain diseases and want to share the "special" first time with that one special person. The other arguement is that until you start having sex you dont know how to do it properly, dont know your own body and wont know if the person you marry is physically compatible with you until its too late to back out of the relationship. I know that it sounds a bit shallow to talk about backing out, but once you start having sex you WANT MORE! If the person you are with cannot do it for you then you are likely to look elsewhere. I had sex before marriage and dont regret doing so.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:05:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 54461
Too tell ya the truth. I am a virgin. Im happy to wait. Sometimes are tough, because me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 5 years. We have had close encounters. But we dont plan on having sex. We chose to wait. Thanks for wanting to know about my life. lol. I believe though.. if you are ready, then you should. But you and your love should talk about it before you you do.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 62599
All I can say is it's your choice  |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 49101
I absolutely Do Not believe sex should wait till after marriage. HOWEVER, it should be treated as near sacred. Some people look at having sex like having desert in a new resteraunt. I don't think it should be that way. It should be saved for love, and commited relationship.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 12581
Well I feel that people need to live together before they get married, I don't think you ever truly know a person until you've lived with em & living with someone often leads to sexual relations  I also think that at times, for people who do believe in waiting, lust drives them to get married to perhaps the wrong person. I have personally seen this happen. I have no regrets either for not waiting, I chose instead to save myself for only those people I truly loved. I have had two partners, the first I spent nearly three years with & was engaged too, the second I married & we've had nearly 8 wonderful years together, if something were to happen to him, I do not think I'd look for another partner, what I have with my hubby, I do not think I could ever have with anyone else. So I don't really think sex should have to wait until one gets married, but I do think it should be reserved for people we love. Personally, I'm a quite emotional person & that is such a special act (the closest you can get to another human being) that I chose only to do it with the men who truly loved me, I still talk to my ex-fiance..we were young, I grew up & he didn't, he still hasn't really but he's not a bad guy, just not too smart about stuff at times. I care about him now as you would your dorky younger brother LOL And I praise God everyday for sending me someone as beautiful as my hubby Thanks for sharing & Take Care!  |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
for me I am not going to wait till my wedding night cause i don't even see the point in marriage it'd a peice of papper keep in mind I belive in love and that just why do you need to wait till you've got a peice of paper to express that. Keep in mind I would have to love my boyfriend I am not going to sleep with some random person. I would have to trust them but why wait till marriage. Either way that is my opinyion I think what it comes down to is you should decide this for your self it is your body and soul you decide what happens.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i dont think so, i do think that sex is a very precious thing and is meant to be with someone you love as an expression of love but you can love a person with all your heart yet not marry them  |
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Date: 3/27/2004 2:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i pretty much fully agree with Akua Tuta, though i will say if anyone decides to have sex they should be mature enough to understand what they are doing is an adult thing, understand the consiquences of what can happen and know about the forms of protection there is out there and not be afraid to talk about them |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 13283
It should wait until marraige . Sex is NOT something meaningless . I feel it should be saved as a gift for your future hubby or wifey . It seems today that people are just a one trick pony and that they only rely on this card . People need to learn how to diversify . There are other pleasures besides this . Razzy aka  |
Date: 3/27/2004 2:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 18870
Okay I have to state my opinion here, I am 24 years old and up until Oct 25th, 2003 I was a virgin. Why that night, you may ask? Well because the was the night I got married The happiest day of my life, I truly love my husband and didn't marry him just because I wanted to have sex, but because we care for each other deeply. I must say that it was hard to wait, and I had challenge's but I believe that you should wait for that one special person that you want to share your life with, you can't be not compatable, because all you have to do is try a few diffrent things. If both of you are virgins then how could it not work? This way you can learn together what you both like. I know that I am very proud of m yself for waiting, even though I got teased and things It felt right to me, I only wanted to share something that special with the one I deem special. One other thing I always told everyone when they said, but if you love them then its ok. If you truly love the person, then how can you love them all. I believe there is love and then there is true love, you only experience true love with the one you are meant to be with and only then can it truly be special. So if you have sex with everyone you love and then meet your true love, how can be something so special shared between the two of you, when it was already something special between you and other guys/girls. Thats just my opinion, Good post, its makes people think.. *hugs*  |
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Date: 3/27/2004 3:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i think people have many true loves not just one and i must have to argue with the statement Jules made that "you can't be not compatable" that statement is untrue, i've met more the one person who loves a person with all thier heart but when it came to sexual relations they just did not click and neither of them could change it and because of it they sent thier seperate ways... i've met former brides who have said that they hated sex with thier spouse there was no compatibily there and they eventually divorced over it.... you could probally also argue that even though your a virgin when you marry what if the marriage goes sour? |
Date: 3/27/2004 3:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
I used to believe that it should wait for marriage when I was younger, but when I actually fell in love and had a serious boyfriend, that kind of went out the window! lol Now I believe that you need to experiment with the physical aspect of the relationship before you can commit yourself to them for the rest of your life. What if there is no spark in that area? Also, I think it is good life experience to have "experiences" with more than one person. However, I do not condone sleeping around, unprotected sex, or having sex too early. And kudos to the people who do wait until marriage!  |
Date: 3/27/2004 3:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 46486
It doesn't matter to me. I'm not a virgin anyways. But aslong as people are safe about it before marriage then it's fine. *Shrugs*  |
Date: 3/27/2004 3:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 1799
I think its different for each person. I, myself, am fine with people having sex before marriage if they are in love.. and in that case, i don't really see it as just sex.. its making love... as long as they are safe about it, and keep it private (i say that because I have friends who have to brag about it), then its fine. i don't see a problem with it.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 3:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 19220
Well I think it all depends on the people involved. I had sex before I got married. That whole relationship was terrible but it taught some great lessons and I have a beautiful 11yr old daughter. Was I ready for any of it? Nope, I was 17. Would I take any of it back? Nope.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 4:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 56446
Well, It depends on if your ready. I think that its ok to have sex before marriage if you plan on being with that person for a LONG period of time, or like if you get impatient and do it before the wedding night. lol Or if you plan to be monogamy, were you only have sex with one person for the rest of your life, which I plan to be.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 4:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 57232
No you shouldn't have to wait in my opinion, but then again I'm a very bad girl. The 'what if' might get to you later in life, but please do not misconstrue my reply as meaning go and do right this minute to as many, evaluate what you have with this person, would you want to see this person the next day, ah bad advice ignore the last half, but no, you shouldn't have to wait, what if someone you were with for 3 years or so like got ran over by a mack truck, you would have never known  |
Date: 3/27/2004 5:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 17014
I think it depends on whether or not you're ready. Just like living with someone-- I'd want to know beforehand if I am compatible with someone or not.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 5:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 36967
Yes, there is diseases, like that stuff, even this so-called safe sex is not really safe at all.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 6:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 55297
It says ont he bible that sex is between a man and a woman. It does not specify whether its for a husband and wife or not. I beleive that if you love that person, then its ok. I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, I know its sounds dumb cuz Im only 16, but I do. I know what I feel and so does God. He may not be happy with me having sex before marrige, but I do and he forgives. So no, I dont think sex should wait until marrige. It is a gift. If you wait, its more specail, but if you dont, its still specail because its with the person you love. I do not beleive in having sex just to have sex. My boyfriend and I make love. Never just sex. Its a gift, a package for you to open when its time. SO when its time for you, regardless if its on your wedding night or not, its a gift, and you'll know when to open it.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 7:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 8555
I would say yes. I wish I had waited. I was young and dumb in High School, and since then I've become a Christian. Most of the guys I have dated have never had sex. It makes me feel awful when I tell them that I have. That he's been waiting his whole life and I haven't. Also there is so much crap out there...diseases...and such.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 7:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 62246
Well, times are changing, and as much as I like values, I don't know if it should or not now. I used to think so, but I don't know now. (maybe it's the teenage hormones lol!) I think it should be determined by the people involved.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 7:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 58334
I don't think so. If you are both mature and responsible enough to handle it, then I think it's okay.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 7:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 25856
I think that if you are truly in love with someone that it's okay to have sex, because you are emotionally ready. Sex is a big thing, not just something people do for fun - contrary to popular belief among teenage girls lol. I'm only fifteen but my "emotional age" is probably 50-60...My mom is a devout Catholic and she didn't think I was wrong when I lost my virginity, because I have the maturity to deal with it in a good, safe way. As Emi stated, if you are in love with someone, you don't "have sex" with them - you "make love." Sometimes you can tell if a person really loves you through sex, so maybe it could actually be a GOOD idea before marraige - making sure that this is the person you want forever. Great discussion!  |
Date: 3/27/2004 8:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 15070
It is a personal choice.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 9:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 36901
When I got married at 16, I was a virgin. I got married again years later and I wish I would have waited until our wedding night to 'be with him'. I think things would have been better if I'd waited. It would have been more special. Do I think people should save themselves for marriage? Yes, I do. If people choose not to, I just hope they will be careful with who they choose to 'be with' and do it for love.  |
Date: 3/27/2004 10:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 51587
In some way i seen that you should wait for marriage...but if you know for sure that you will be w/this one person for all your life and everything dont wait if you dont want to...but in another way i do say wair for marriage. for some stupid reason i didnt wait for marriage..so i'm not a virgin. i'm sorry i did it when i did my first time.But I feel that even if you not a virgin and the first time you do it w/your loved one that you feel is your other half or whatever...it will be your first time. or feel like it your first time. or something like that. *huggs*  |
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Date: 3/27/2004 10:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 51587
you need to feel ready for it...emotionaly and physical..if you have any second thoughts...then dont do it....wish i followed my own advice. lol.but stupidly i didnt. But it should wait for love..real love not crush or lust or just becuase you think you shoudl do it cuz of peer pressure or anything. *huggs* |
Date: 3/27/2004 10:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 7952
Wait until marriage, no... wait until you're in love, yes. And you shouldn't be too young either.. definately at the age when if you were to become pregnant as a result then you should be mature enough to care for the baby. I loved Goat-on-a-ropes response and i agree whole-heartedly!  |
Date: 3/28/2004 1:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 37872
This is a hard debate for me. I can't think of any good reason, or advantage to not have sex until you're married. On the other hand, I can't rebutt anyone who believes that they should and act celibate. I just don't think it's a valid argument in this day and age anymore. I think it's more debatable nowadays to argue whether or not a couple should buy house before they get married. A sign of the times, I guess.  |
Date: 3/28/2004 2:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 11348
Like most everyone else has said, I believe it's something very special, but should not necessarily come after marriage. I think that it's something that should be done before, like living together, so that you really get to know the person before you're bound to them for life. It is an important aspect of marriage after all. It's definitely something that you should give a lot of thought to and take seriously.  |
Date: 3/28/2004 5:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 53054
Well for me, i want to wait, i think that having sex is a very eprsonal issue and should not be something that is rushed into, however i dont think it is wrong to have before marrage, however i think its important to wait until you are ready!  |
Date: 3/28/2004 8:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 62367
Yes, I hold by the old fashioned value of sex being a privedge that follows marriage. I am realistic enough to know that many can not or will not abide by that particular ideal. The only one I can control and answer for is myself and I follow that precept. I don't think its a good idea to go back to the time that demonized individuals who choose to have sex before marriage though or girls unfortunate enough to become pregnant.  |
Date: 3/28/2004 4:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 19613
what about all the poor homosexuals who believe sex should wait till after marriage?  |
Date: 3/28/2004 5:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 22080
if you feel youre ready whos to tell you to wait? personally i think once you can handle all responsibilities you can consider it. personally ive sworn off all sex till i atleast graduate from high school cause i want to get an education before i have to worry about a little extra responsibility  |
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Date: 3/28/2004 5:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 22080
p.s. not only should you be emotionally and physically ready but also financially |
| Date: 3/28/2004 10:40:00 PM From Authorid: 62483 I think that sex should wait for a meaningful relationship-whether that be marriage or not. |
Date: 3/29/2004 8:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 52140
My personal opinion is that it should. A bunch of people want to say, "If you love someone, its ok." I think this is a silly idea because if you have a strong sexual attraction for your 'lover' then wouldn't it proove your love even more if you were willing to wait? Also, I've heard that people who have "trial marriages" (where you live together first) have a higher risk of getting a divorce.  |
Date: 3/31/2004 4:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 18527
I waited... I'm glad  |
Date: 4/2/2004 7:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 31673
I absolutely think it should be saved for marriage. I'm 30 and not married, so I'm still a virgin. I've had plenty of opportunities, in fact, I'm in a very serious relationship right now, but I decided long ago that I would wait until I was married. I have no regrets.  |
Date: 4/2/2004 2:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 57225
i think most (not all) people who think that is people who are religious. i think sex is something that should be taken seriously, but i don't think you necissarily be held off until marriage. if you really know somebody and you truly love and trust each otehr, then have at it if its at the point. if it feels right and you think there'll be no regrets, then i think that's okay. i dont believe in promiscuity, or having an insane amount of partners ya know. but if you're mature enough to deal with the responsibilities that comes along with it, then it should be okay.  |
Date: 4/4/2004 2:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
i don't necessasarily think people should wait until marriage. i think anybody under the age of 20 shouldn't even do it at all until they have been with the other person for at least a year. i know, you all want to know how i came up with that magic number.........my daughter is 19!! anyway...i had my husband for over 2 years before we did anything. by that time i was well over 18 and i knew we would last. and so far it's been 20 years (+4 years before we were married) and it's all good! i guess it's different for each person but i really don't think a year is too long to wait. i know a lot of people now that wished they had waited.  |
Date: 4/5/2004 6:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 62100
Well, I didn't wait until marriage, so I can't be hypocritical and say that it should nor will I lecture and say that others should wait. But, I can say that I sometimes now wish that I HAD waited for marriage, and so that I could have that experience of sharing that first time with my fiance. But, then again, I also would not have had two of the most beautiful angels on Earth had I waited... I guess that it's up to the individuals.  |
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Date: 4/7/2004 8:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 20581
While I didn't wait till I was married, I do have some regrets and wish that I would of waited. BUT I really feel that is up to each person, everyone one is so different what is right for one isnt necessarily right for another. I do strongly feel that IF you are going to have sex before being married to be smart about it and protect yourself and your partner. Don't just "sleep" around.  |
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Date: 4/15/2004 9:08:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 54461
Thanks everyone for the replies. It was really interesting to read them all. Everyone is different. God Bless. |
Date: 4/15/2004 9:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 33517
I think it is totally up to you...but I think hey...You might as well try it out before you sign your John Henry to anything...The way I look at it...is you try out a car before you buy and you test drive a few before you get to the one you really like and want...So, hey! Might as well eh...hehee!! Alright I'm outta here....**Big Canadian Hugs**  |
Date: 2/19/2005 9:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 7574
I think that personally, I'm going to wait until I find someone special and the time feels right...Whether that be next month, or my wedding night it's all good. I've been in situations before and the time just didn't feel right...  |
Date: 8/4/2005 10:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 18887
hmm well i always thought about it, but then again i dont know anymore  |
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