. Time Honored Truths:
I doubt, therefore I might be.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
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. Wife : What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night? Husband : Golfing with friends, my dear. Wife : What? At 2 a.m.? Husband : Yes. We used nightclubs.
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"Translations"
A Translation Of Yankee Dogs To Southern Dawgs
(Yankee) German Shepherd Dog (Southern) Poh-leece Dawg.
(Yankee) Poodle (Southern) Circus Dawg.
(Yankee) St. Bernard (Southern) "Thank Gawd, Here Comes The Whiskey Dawg."
(Yankee) Doberman Pinscher (Southern) Dobimin Pinches.
(Yankee) Beagle (Southern) Rabbit Dawg.
(Yankee) Rottweiler (Southern) Mean As Hell Dawg. Good dawg to guard the still.
(Yankee) Yellow Lab (Southern) Ol' Yeller Dawg.
(Yankee) Black Lab (Southern) Duck fetchin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Greyhound (Southern) Greased Lightnin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Malinois (Southern) Another kind of Poh-leece Dawg.
(Yankee) Blue Ticks, Red Bones, etc. (Southern) Prize Coon Dawgs.
(Yankee) Pekinese (Southern) Mop Dawg.
(Yankee) Chinese Crested (Southern) Nekkid Dawg.
(Yankee) Dachshund (Southern) Wienie Dawg.
(Yankee) Siberian Husky (Southern) Sled-Pullin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Bouvier, Komondor (Southern) "What The Hell Kinda Dawg Is That?"
(Yankee) Great Dane, Mastiff (Southern) Danged BIG Dawg.
(Yankee) Any dog that raids the hen house (Southern) Egg-Suckin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Any lazy dog (Southern) Good fer nothin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Any dog that's died and been buried and gone to Rainbow Bridge (Southern) Best danged Dawg I ever had.
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