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A Few Jokes Fer Chuck'lin At- :D Akua Tuta

  Author:  12581  Category:(Humor) Created:(2/16/2004 11:16:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1573 times)

I am not much into consumer magazines but I love to read the Reader's Digest. I just had to share a few of these jewels with you :D Hope you Enjoy! Take Care!

***************************

Car Accidents are not always easy to explain, as evidenced by the following insurance form statements written & submitted by the unlucky drivers themselves

*Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

*I thought my window was down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

*In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

*The interect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

***********************

With Five kids at home & one more on the way, I wasn't quite sure what to think when I was assigned the follwoing password for my computer at work: iud4u

*************************

I'd been hauling garbage for years so when the sign Garbage appeared on a trash can, I replaced it with my own note "After 20 years on the job, I know garbage when I see it!" I emptied the can and left. The next week, a new note appeared on the same can: "Dear Professor Trash, the garbage can is the garbage!"

***************************

Following an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother, eight noisey and shoving siblings and I arrived in Germany. "Do you have any weapons or illegal drugs in your possession?" the customs agent asked my weary mother.

"Sir,"she said while separating my brother & me, "if I had either of those items, I would have used them by now"

**************************************

We were asleep in our cots at Bagram Air Force Base when exploding enemy rockets woke us up. My platoon and I threw on our fatigues, grabbed our weapons, and ran to the bunker for protection. Inside the bunker, one nevous solider lit up.

"Put that cigerette out!" I ordered.

"Yeah, foget the rockets said another solider as more rounds rocked the bunker. "That second hand smoke'll kill ya"

**********************************

Due to increasing product liability litigation, it has been suggested that American liquir manufacturers place these warning labels immediately on all varieties of alcohol.

WARNING: The consumption of alchohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alchohol may cause you to tell your friends over & over that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alchohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alchohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alchohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

**************** Hope these gave ya a Chuckle :D Take Care ALL!

Sara aka Akua Tuta

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 2/17/2004 12:54:00 AM  From Authorid: 19871    I dont get the password one....  
Date: 2/17/2004 12:58:00 AM  From Authorid: 59418    LOL! GOod ones *Big hugs*  
Date: 2/17/2004 3:59:00 AM  From Authorid: 54570    heh heh  
Date: 2/17/2004 4:50:00 AM  From Authorid: 44321    LOL..Also the consumption of alchohol will make you single out the only sober person in the place and hug them every chance you get ( I was the sober person by the way :P )  
Date: 2/17/2004 4:51:00 AM  From Authorid: 44321    The iud4u ,was a joke about birth control an iud is a method of birth control   
Date: 2/17/2004 5:33:00 AM  From Authorid: 15677    lol
  
Date: 2/17/2004 7:18:00 AM  From Authorid: 48250    LOL These are Good! T/C....  
Date: 2/17/2004 8:46:00 AM  From Authorid: 58611    These were hillarious!!!  
Date: 2/17/2004 12:44:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 12581    Fros...I know it took me a second but..have you ever heard of the form of birth control called an IUD?? It stands for intra-uterine device. Ohhh duuuur what Medusa said LOL Thanks & Take Care!  
Date: 2/17/2004 2:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 62367    Great. All very funny.  
Date: 2/18/2004 5:40:00 AM  From Authorid: 62171    LOL, Very funny  

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