Date: 2/5/2004 9:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
It's NOT your fault...HE chose to cheat and there is NO excuse for it EVER. No one can tell you what to do..follow your heart....do you trust that he won't cheat again? If you don't think you can trust him not too then don't stay with him because what's a relationship without trust.  |
Date: 2/5/2004 9:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
Well the first thing you need to look at is, self worth! You do not need a cheating man in your life! Honestly it is his problem, it has nothing to do with you as a person! Anyone who cheats is very selfish. Look at who you are. You deserve better. Move on! Find somone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! If you don't he could at some point pass a sexual disease to you! Then what? HIV? Aren't you worth more than that! I know it hurts, but do what you need to do. Move on!  |
Date: 2/5/2004 9:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 51049
It is not your fault because you felt you had to leave, it obviously did not take him much time to get over that and just go out and cheat on you. There is NO excuse for this. The big question is if you think you can trust him again, if you think you can than try to work it out, but if you are unsure, than maybe it would be best for the two of you to seperate. Nobody deserves that, one of the most important things in a relationship is trust. You need to decide what is best for you so you don't get hurt again, I wish you the best of luck with your problem.  |
Date: 2/5/2004 9:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 24319
It definitly not your fault. If *I* had that happened to me, he would be out on the street. I have zero tolerance for that kind of stuff. Mostly because my father cheated on my mother and saw how it effected her. Even if I loved him with all that I was, I still could not look at myslef knowing that even though he did me wrong in the worst possible way that I did nothing. You take vows for a reason. But, ultimitly you have to do what you feel you have to do in your heart. If you think you and him can work it out, over time of course, then do it. If you think you won't be able to get over it, which is perfectly normal, then you have to cut your loses and find someone (not right away) who won't do that to you. I wish you the best and I hope everything works out ok for you.   |
Date: 2/5/2004 10:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 57653
I'm with Carrie on this one. ZERO TOLERANCE. You deserve better. You deserve someone who respects and loves you enough to stay faithful!  |
Date: 2/6/2004 5:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 18527
I think you should go seek counselling, if he won't go with you, go by yourself!  |
Date: 2/6/2004 7:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
IT'S HIS FAULT! Leave him.. you DESERVE BETTER. Please listen to me.. if he's done it once, he'll do it again, and where will the trust be in the relationship? You need to leave this relationship and give yourself some much needed respect. You can make it WITHOUT him. You can do it! I'm always here if you need me..  |
Date: 2/6/2004 7:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 58611
Even if you guys were having a rough time before that does NOT make it ok to cheat in anyway. You guys are married, and he has apparently lost all respect for the marriage. I personally would leave him. You will never be able to forget this, in time you might be able to forgive, but it will always be there in the back of your mind. Always. I dont think you deserve that. There are plenty more men out there just dying to meet someone like you. And you can find love again. Dont torchure yourself by staying with someone who does not feel the same as you. You cant make him love you like you love him.  |
Date: 2/6/2004 8:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 2030
My wife and I have had a simple understanding since day #1. We are not jealous, we have friends of the opposite sex, we both go out with our friends from time to time and have fun. We have our lives and it's not a prison. But cheating is a "one strike you're out" offense. No if's no and's no buts, you can either trust your spouse or you can't, one lie proves a persons lack of trustworthiness.  |
Date: 2/6/2004 8:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 38849
He did choose to cheat. It doesn't mean things can not be worked out... at the same time, I think what you are feeling is absolutely normal. My sister has gone through this more than once with the same guy, she is deciding to marry him, others wouldn't give the guy the time of day ever again... Question is, do you trust him not to cheat again? And while easier said than done, believe it isn't about you. --  |
Date: 2/9/2004 9:02:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62275
I feel like you did Crazy Kritter! Its like you said, what he might have done is horrible, but at the same time I'd rather try to get over his mistake than live the rest of my life without him. And yes, to all of you it does stay in the back of my mind, no matter how hard I try all I can get is mental images of him and her, but as much as it hurts I'm going to try to get over it because it's not worth loosing a lifetime over. I know that he is truly sorry for what he did, and I have that gut feeling that it won't happen again. If you all knew him like I did, then you'd understand. He really is a wonderful person that made a mistake. What's totally ironic is that I've NEVER been willing to put up with hurt like this from any other human being, but with him its so different. Even soul mates make mistakes! What he did happened during the worst time of our relationship. We had just lost everything we had, and split up for a while. It was during that time that it happened. He was so convinced that I wasn't coming back to him because he knew how dead-set I was on doing things. It only took me a week to realize that I'd rather have my unhappy moments with him instead of a lifetime without him. If things were still bad between us, then I might not still be with him today. But we had already rekindled things and we are so happy. He might have royally messed up, but why let go of the happiness we have now because of a screw up he made when we were apart? I'm not trying to make excuses for him by any means, because it's a DEFINATE on what he did is wrong. Its just that sometimes it's not worth throwing away what could be a lifetime over one mistake that was made when he thought I wasn't going to come home to him. Thank you ALL so MUCH for listening to me, and giving me great advice! I love you all!!!  |
