Date: 2/5/2004 2:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 62408
Okay, I've read the poem, and first off...it is beautifully done. I like how each stanza is done...the meter is off in a couple places, but that could just be to me...each poet reads it off differently. "Time to say Farewell" is the one that first came to mind, kind of by taking a little bit out of each stanza. The other is "Only Time Can Tell". Hope this helps. Where I feel it's a bit 'off', is the last line in "I'm trying to deal with all the crap that I've been through". I'd drop the 'I', 'all' 'that' and change 'I've been' to 'you put me'. But this is YOUR work, and a great piece, too. These are just my opinions and thoughts, and by no means do I mean to tear your work apart. You wrote a terrific poem. I guess just by having written poetry myself, I tend to spot things (don't feel bad, I even do this when I read Tennyson or Shakespeare). LOL. So take care!  |
