Epilogue...........................................................(pertnikoff)

There is a time in your life

When you sit and dwell within the reverie of your days

There it sits before you

The little gem of your life with

All its flaws bared before your eyes

You know something has changed

Yet it takes so much effort to see what this is

That has stayed your mind



It is the loss of innocence

The acceptance of pain

That little crevice of sadness that has

Followed the natural grain of your soul

Into places that you never knew existed until

They spoke to you as the salt touched blemish

There before you is all of the unspoken

All of the rashes of your spiritual entity

The ugly that inescapelably is your you

At last you know fully well that some things

That some hurts

That some aches go too deep

And that there is no regaining of what once was

That the innocence enjoyed as the child is forever lost

You simply realize that you know too much

For it lay within your bones

Undeniable

That is the time you ask yourself...

What to do?

For the endings have come and the battles have been fought

At last you realize that there is no victor in battle

There is only endings

For the victors never win

They just postpone and endure what they brought

To their rival

There is no covering it up with sunshine and smiles

For in the quiet of your mind and the stillness of your heart

You can never out run or band-aide the reality or truth

There is merely one place to go

And that is onward to the end



You see, endings always come

They comas the thief in the night or as the screaming banshee to strike terrors

Ye they come

And you are forever changed

In loss of loss or the loss

Of victory

The difference is mute

Change ... the great consumer of souls

Will rape your spirit In the end

She always has her way

The draught of time is the only respite

Yet that too is but postponement

For she comes to you and you always knew

Yes

You always knew

The crushing of rainbows is often the taste

Of the gentlest kiss and

The invocation of change

The spell irreconcilable

In the seeking of your truest heart

You find angels and demons

There you endure the rake of talon and the caress of feather wing

Only to find the pain equivalent

The touch equal

And your perspective skewed

The universe itself finds a wobble within its spin

And begins to tear itself apart

Crashing to pieces

Leaving you to choke on the dust of galaxies ground to nothingness

Your world is gone and your carefully constructed wish threads

Lay tattered and there is nothing

But endings

Enough to choke on



The realms of dragons and gods

All tilled into nevermore

And you wonder why

Yet fear to look where you know the answer is

For it lay within

The lens of self has been used

The perspective gained has altered and changed everything

For you dared to ask for the gift of wisdom

And now pay the 0price and the heavies of burdens

The tree of wisdom bears fruit of bitterest twist

It's task remaining unforgotten through eternities of breath

And you know in a second that has lasted forever through

The trap of time

You know who you are

Even though your words give no descriptions,

You still know

You are unutterable and terrifying

You are hideous

You are so beautiful

And the words fall away as dust

For you simply are

And the definitions useless

You crave the end yet you know it as delay

And what greater pain is there but to endure more of what is

So you dare not

Only will you walked on and into the plod of your consumed world

Sore of foot and weary of soul

And walk the paths inevitable

No longer the fool

Yet seen as the fool upon the hill

So silenced

Forever wishing your taste

Never was to know the apples bitter

Yet knowing you could not do other than what you did

For that is what y you asked for

What you grasped

What you endure

And for what you yearn for and

Will never let go of

Even when offered the draught of forgetfulness

For you cannot deny the sanctity of the self

And all you words fall away

Lost upon he winds of time

Lost upon the minds of these

Who do not want to know.


Jan 2004

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