Date: 1/18/2004 7:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 56864
Have you tried having a heart to heart talk with him? I think it'd be nice if he knew that you would NEVER cheat on him and that you care for him deeply. Try and coax him out of it that way.  |
Date: 1/18/2004 7:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 5252
Clubby has a good idea, but also I would talk to him, and let him know that you have gone through it (if you have) and if not, just let him know that you are NOT her...and that getting hurt works both ways...getting past the hurt, and the lies...well it takes time, do not rush him, especially if he had three years with her. i know it can be frustrating, but let him know you are there. i am one of those people, i will get close to a guy, and then think of all the things that guys have done to screw me over and push them away.  |
Date: 1/18/2004 8:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 26733
With this typ of situation there is nothing really that you can do. If he wants to talk to you he will when he feels the time is right. Either way it still doesnt make it right for him to go days without talking to you - that is soemthing to need to talk with him about even if he has had relationship problems in the past. He has to realize that you arent that girl (the individuals that have hurt him in the past) and he shouldnt treat you like your going to hurt him if you show no signs of such. His mentality is he thinks your going to hurt him, simply. My advice is, prove him wrong. It will take time. Good luck, Matt aka  |
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Date: 1/18/2004 8:23:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 50490
It's hard b/c before I came into the pic, he didn't so much as look at another girl for a whole year, then here I come. I have talked to him and explained that I would never hurt him and thatI am not her. He seems to agree and understand, but it doesn't make things any better. Ugh, I guess healing takes us all different time frames to do. |
Date: 1/18/2004 8:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 39107
i think my girlfriend wants to break up with me,shes giving me the hint of it too by not talking to me and meeting guys..we've been going out over a year...i guess i screwed up badly if she wants to see other pepole...  |
Date: 1/18/2004 8:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 53909
I can understand how he feels. He's still hurt and he's afraid of something happening again. But he shouldn't go on days without talking to you. I'm sure that he will talk to you when the time is right. You should try talking to him heart to heart. This will take time though. It took me a while to feel comfortable and all with my boyfriend, who is now my fiance. I've had guys hurt me a lot in my past and I'm still upset about it. Give him some time, he'll come around.   |
Date: 1/18/2004 9:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 62338
Just be patient with him. It probably scares him to know that he is getting close to knowing what happened to him before.So just be patient and just be there for him.He'll see you for who you are and learn to trust again......Rawhide  |
Date: 1/19/2004 2:09:00 AM
From Authorid: 25390
You just need to be patient with him, as hard as that is. I'm sure he knows that you won't hurt him, and he's trying to be able to be perfectly trusting of you. Keep showing him you won't hurt him and eventually he will see it.  |
Date: 1/19/2004 5:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 62146
Tell him tate you don't want to get hurt and if dose not want to get hurt either he must take it slow. Give him a chance though it sounds like his heart is still healing. But ok the trust must be worked up. I am sorry you have to deal with this is pretty hard.  |
Date: 1/19/2004 8:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 10754
The others ( except for one ) are right on target here; time and your patience will help him.  |
Date: 1/19/2004 11:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 57579
Clubby has good advice just have a talk with him explain that you are not like the other girl and wouldnt hurt him like that. It's obvious that he's hurt by what she did and having a hard time trusting other girls because of her. *hugs*  |
Date: 1/19/2004 11:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Paitence is a virtue, and I don't know how long the both of you have been seeing each other, but time heals all wounds. Try and communicate with him as you have been doing, and be paitent. Set a reasonable time limit for yourself, and remember that if it's meant to be it will happen. But if after that time limit, things have not changed, then it may be wise to move on.  |
Date: 1/19/2004 2:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 40979
I think you should sit down with him and have a conversation about it . He won't ever get over it unless he tells you about it . Maybe if he talks about it and you listen , you can reasure him you're not like that . He's afraid to get close to yuo because he thinks you're like her , you'll hurt him . You need to let him know that you wouldn't do that . And , if you love him , you'd be patient with him :-D give him some time to heal.  |
