The banquet was about to begin when the master of ceremonies was informed that the clergyman invited to give the blessing was unable to attend.
He asked the main speaker if he would oblige, and the man agreed.
He began, "There being no clergyman present, let us thank God."
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A group of U.S. marines arriving in Afganistan found themselves taking a surprise refresher course on first aid. Following an involved lesson on making splints, dressing wounds and applying tourniquets to stop bleeding, the instructor decided to determine how well the marine class had grasped the information given.
"Goldberg ," he said, pointing to one of the marines, "say you captured Bin Laden and find he has sustained a minor head wound, what do you do about it?"
"That's easy, Sir," said Goldberg. "I wrap a tourniquet around his neck and tighten it until the bleeding stops."
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