= = = = = IF I KNEW = = = = = WOODEN NICKEL

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say I love you, instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

There will always be another day to say our I love you's, And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget,

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight..

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear,

Take time to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay". And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

==========================

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, but had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on beer.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties and use them, then throw them away. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that. They then made off for home.

The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said "These daRn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties"

"That's nothing" said the other "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you'."

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