1. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
4. My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me
5. I need not suffer in silence when I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
6. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
7. I'm extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
8. I'd like to help you out; which way did you come in?
9. From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it.
10. You may pretend to dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.
11. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
14. I don't have an attitude problem, it's supposed to be this way.
15. Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you're interrupting.
16. I heard you, and so what if the world's ending at noon today, I can't chat with you until tomorrow. You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
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