= = = = = crossing the US-Mexican border = = = =WOODEN NICKEL

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard. "Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?" "Bicycles!"

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Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

A: It's Christmas, Eve.

Q: What was the convenience store clerk's reaction when Satan came in and asked for a lemon lime drink?

A: He gave the Devil his Dew.

Q: What did Mr. Potato Head say after he was attacked by the headhunters?

A: "I've been scalloped!"

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.

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A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the heCK have you been?" she asked. "You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he said. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that, genius?" she asked sarcastically. "It wasn't easy, honest," he told her. "I had to fold with a royal flush."

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Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed! ---Thomas Edison's Mother

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