= = = little Michael's first visit to the country, = = =WOODEN NICKEL

It was little Michael's first visit to the country, and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard. Rushing indoors excitedly, Michael sought his grandmother. "Oh, Granny," he exclaimed, "one of the chickens is in bloom!"

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10 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus

1. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

2. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

3. Build an army of snowmen on the roof, holding signs - "Bah Humbug" and "Santa Unfair To Elves."

4. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

5. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

6. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

7. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

8. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

9. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

10. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

=================

Enough *~

Please give me...

Enough tears to keep me human,

Enough humor to keep me wise,

Enough setbacks to keep me humble,

Enough accomplishments to keep me confident,

Enough waiting to teach me patience,

Enough hope to teach me trusting,

Enough friends to give me love,

Enough memories to give me comfort.

====================

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.

I'M STUPID

It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign." It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

I'M STUPID

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I'M STUPID

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you.." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

I'M STUPID

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.. Here's your sign."

I'M STUPID

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I'M STUPID

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ....okay....no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign... until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I'M STUPID

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

I'M STUPID

Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all your friends. The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.

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BILLY's MISSION

It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt seven farmers before it was through. Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the farm. Lately, this process had involved taking a truck to the river and filling it up with water. But it was so expensive. Even the river was getting low. If we didn't see some rain soon, we would lose everything.



It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing, and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my six-year old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort, trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches, thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour: walk carefully to the woods, run back to the house.

Finally, I couldn't take it any longer, and I crept out of the house, and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen, as he was obviously doing important work, and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him). He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them; maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing sight. Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him - he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn laying on the ground, obviously suffering from dehydration, and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand. When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house, and I hid behind a tree. I followed him back to the house, to a spigot connected to an empty tank. Billy opened it all the way up, and a few drops of water began to come out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip, slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back.



Then it came clear to me: the trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before, the lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water, and the reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took a minute for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him. His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him, with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, they were suddenly joined by other drops...and more drops...and more. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping. Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence that miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that...I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm, just like the actions of one little boy who saved another.

This is not one of those crazy chain letters. If you don't forward it to anyone, nothing bad will happen to you. If you choose to forward it, you won't receive any riches in the mail. You could pass it on just to honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon.... but not before showing me the true face of God, in a little sunburned body.

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Why Worry?

There are only two things in life to worry about: Whether you are well or whether you are sick.

If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about: Whether you are going to get well or whether you are going to die.

If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you die, there are only two things to worry about: Whether you are going to go to heaven or whether you are going to go to hell.

If you go to heaven, then you have nothing to worry about.

But if you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends, that you won't have time to worry!

So, Why Worry? Be Happy



Do not cry if the Sun sets at the end of the day, because the tears will not let you enjoy the beauty of the Stars.

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