GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
LOS ANGELES POLICE DEPT Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
RICHARD M. NIXON The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I do not know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?
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