= = = My aunt died this past January = = = WOODEN NICKEL

My aunt died this past January. Citibank billed her in February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 and now was somewhere around $60.00. I placed the following phone call to Citibank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed so the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."

CB: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

CB: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the Credit Bureau. Maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

CB: "Excuse me?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you ... about her being dead?"

CB: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: ''I'm calling to tell you she died in January."

CB Supervisor: "The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

CB Supervisor: <hesitates> "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." I then supplied all the information about my aunt's attorney.

CB Supervisor: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." I send the fax.

After they receive the fax: CB Supervisor: "Our system just isn't set up for death."

Me: "Oh ..."

CB Supervisor: "I don't know what more I can do to help ..."

Me: "Well, if you figure it out, great. If not, you could just keep on billing her, I suppose. I don't really think she'll care ..."

CB Supervisor: "Well, the late fees and charges *do* still apply."

Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"

CB Supervisor: "That might help."

I gave the cemetery address and her plot number.

CB Supervisor: "Sir, that's a cemetery."

Me: "Really? What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

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