Dear Cats,
There are a few issue’s I’d like to address here. First of all, The litter box is there for a reason, please do no use my potted plants or carpet. Plus it would be appreciated if you guys would refrain from taking a huge dump and then coming to lie on my chest. Drooling, clawing and biting is not necessary to gain my affections. Running around the house like greyhounds on crack is not proper etiquette and can be hazardous to my health. The clean laundry and my bed are NOT your property and it would be appreciated if you would refrain from shedding on these items. Darting in front of me while I am walking is dangerous, doing this may result in pain for either of us. Could you please work on NOT doing this to me every time I try to move? Climbing up the screen door and hanging there like a bat is not acceptable. Either is hucking up hairballs in my window sills or on my piano. I advise you to move when you see my rear descending towards you, it causes a blind spot and I may not be able to see you in time. When it comes to dead mice and birds, thank you but no thank you. Oh and one more thing, could you please let me know where your secret stash of my lighters, pens, and hair scrunchies went??
Sincerely, Your Haggard Owner
***I wrote this after reading a joke about someone writing their dogs, I could so relate that I just had to write this one addressing my cats and some of the horrible things they do to me. LOL Take Care!! You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
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Thanks for sharing 
