How Bob Brought Pie to the World < WildBob >

How Bob Brought Pie to the World

In the distant past, there lived a fair-haired lad named Bob. By the age of twelve he could throw a spear as far as most men. By the age of fourteen, he could throw his spear farther than most men, then run and catch it before it hit the ground. The girls would all giggle and coyly look away when he walked by, then glance back to see if he was looking at them. His long curly hair seemed to always be a topic of conversation amongst the local adults. Most of the men thought it was unkempt, but some of the younger ladies wished they were just a little bit younger. The latest scandal was Bob tying a thin golden rope around his hair to keep it under control. Some people thought he was trying to look like a young god, others were sure that he was a young god.

Bob's latest craze was mountain climbing. No mountain was too high or too difficult to climb. Once he had mastered all the local peaks he decided to climb Mt Olympus This was a challenge made for someone like Bob.

He set out on foot for the base of Mt Olympus with a small entourage. People were more and more interested in his exploits and this was his most outlandish adventure to date. No one had ever dared to climb Mt Olympus. The lowest parts of the mountain were steep. Clouds always covered the upper parts, so no one really knew if it could be climbed.

His friend Pythagoras, a nerdy little fellow, gave him a small sack with food and warm clothing to help him on his journey. People watched as he deftly made his way up the mountain. By noon, he was almost out of sight. He sat on a rock, ate his lunch, and waved at the people far below. From this height they looked like ants. His meal was soon finished so he resumed his climb.

Up into the clouds he went, higher and higher he climbed. It started to get dark so he put on all his clothes to keep warm and tied himself to a rock so he wouldn't fall while he slept. When dawn broke, he ate a little more and then resumed his climb. For seven days he climbed with no end in sight Just before dark on the seventh day, he broke through the layer of clouds and thought that he could see the edge of a building far up the mountain. Once again he tied himself to the mountain for the night and resumed his climb in the morning. He ran out of food and water, so climbed straight towards the building without stopping.

By noon he was there. He crept around the base of a building and looked out over a vast city. Truly this was the city of the gods. The streets were lined with gold and there were small streams of milk and honey. Fruit trees lined the streets and little patches of berries grew here and there. The gods themselves were beautiful to behold. The men had magnificent bodies and the women were dazzling. He looked at himself and was embarrassed by his dirty clothing. He knew that he wasn't worthy to be in the city of the gods.

He saw many amazing things as he hid in the rocks behind the building but the most amazing thing he saw was Zeus riding a machine that had two wheels. Zeus peddled the machine around the city and all the other gods would always smile and wave as he rode by. Periodically Zeus would park his machine and rush off to attend to some urgent business then mount it and ride off once again. Bob waited till it was dark and finally got the nerve to actually go into the city. He drank some milk and honey from the streams and ate some fruit that he had never seen before. He filled his pack with the amazing berries and packed them between layers of straw to prevent damage for his journey home. Truly the food of the gods was far better than any he had ever tasted. As he wandered about the city he found a robe that one of the gods must have throw aside. He put on the robe and it felt like it adjusted to his body. Surely it must be magic.

He marveled at the sites of the city. Others didn&#8217;t seem to notice him as he strolled about. Perhaps the robe made him fit in. Then he noticed Zeus's two-wheeled machine. No one else was about so he walked over to it. The golden machine had a name. In fiery letters it spelled out Wheels of Fire Full Suspension Mountain Bike.In smaller letters it said Mt. Olympus Bike Shop.

Bob couldn't resist. He had to try riding the contraption. He carefully mounted the machine, pushed down on one of the pedals and to his amazement he shot forward. He grasped the handles with a grip of death, but kept on pedaling. The feeling was exhilarating. He was riding on a metal horse. Faster and faster he rode around Mt. Olympus. Bob was a born athlete and soon was the master of the machine. He was enjoying himself so much; he didn't realize how much time had passed.

Then, he heard a booming voice shout, "Where's my mountain bike?" The buildings themselves shook from the bellowing of Zeus.

Lesser gods pointed at Bob and shouted, "Here Zeus, it's over here and someone is on it."

Zeus was furious. He was there before Bob had a chance to quietly slip away.

"A mortal, on my bike,"he fumed. "Prepare to die!"

With that, Bob peddled away as fast as he could. Zeus hurled a thunderbolt, but Bob rounded a corner just in time. The thunderbolt smashed into the corner of a building with devastating effect. The chase was on, but Zeus couldn't seem to catch the young upstart mortal who had the nerve to ride the Wheels of Fire Full Suspension Mountain Bike. Finally Zeus knew that Bob had made a mistake by turning down a dead end street. The street ended at the edge of the mountain. Bob immediately realized his predicament. It was either surrender to a certain death or bike down Mt Olympus. Really that wasn't much of a choice. Bob jumped the bike over the edge of a small wall and headed down the mountain.

Zeus was furious. He hurled another thunderbolt. Bob looked back just in time to catch the thunderbolt in one hand and throw it back. Zeus held out his hand and absorbed the energy from his own thunderbolt that had been expertly returned to him. Hera, Zeus's wife, looked at Bob dreamily. "He's magnificent, don't you think Zeusey? I wonder if he has any blood of the god's in him?"

Zeus looked slightly embarrassed. "How should I know?"he stammered.

"He looks quite a bit like you Zeus,"said Hera.

Zeus blushed and looked away.

Bob picked up speed as he went down the mountain. There was no use trying to use the brakes, the mountain was too steep. Flames started to fly from behind the wheels as he tore down the mountain.

Only a few villagers were still there to see Bob's descent. The rest thought that he had been beaten by the might of the mountain. "Look!" shouted one of the girls. "It's Bob, and he's riding some sort of godly chariot." It took him a little over seven days to climb the mountain but only minutes to ride down on his Wheels of Fire Mountain Bike.

He skid to a halt, in a cloud of dust, a few feet from the villagers. He still wore his godly robes and rode the magnificent golden machine. The villagers clapped their hands with glee for one of their own had visited the gods and came back to them with proof

They paraded back to the village with more and more villagers joining in as they got closer to the village. Bob was once again the talk of the town. "A feast, a feast, we must have a feast for Bob!" shouted the villages. People started bringing food and drink to the town square. Once everyone was there, Bob told his story about visiting the gods and gave the bakers his sack of berries. In a short time, the bakers brought out a new creation they had made for the celebration with Bob's berries of the gods. It had two big wheels made of doe, filled with fruit. The village ate and drank and marveled at the stories that Bob had to tell. It was quite an evening.

Zeus looked down from his high perch. Indeed that youth Bob did have the family resemblance. It just wouldn't be right to kill him. Instead he sprinkled forgetfulness dust on the entire village. He made sure that no one could steal his Wheels of Fire Mountain Bike and then live to remember it, so no one would remember.

The next morning people awoke from a night of celebrating. Their heads throbbed and no one could quite remember exactly what they had been celebrating, or what kind of contraption Bob was sleeping next beside Gradually everyone gathered in the village square. Bob was there and the village girls were hanging all over him. Bob's friend Pythagoras walked over to the remnants of the food. He placed some breadsticks in the middle of the bakers creation then shouted "That's it, the circumference of a circle is 2*pi*the radius!" The crowd all cheered, a little, because their heads all still ached.

The bakers exclaimed in unison, "We'll call it Pie."

And that's how Bob brought Pie to the world.

Bob never did figure out where he got that contraption or what it was good for so now it gathers dust near the front door of his house.

Show all stories by   Author:  53284 ( Click here )